Anus drying etiquette
so you've just had a nice shower, you step out of the shower and you grab a towel. you give a little rub rub here, a little pat pat there and a scrape scrape there on your hair. then comes your asshole. here we go!
do you:
A: dry the anus with the towel
B: get some toilet roll like a fucking civilised person and dry/wipe it with that
I just assumed that everyone does B but it's come to my attention that people really do A.
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If your anus is still so disgusting that it shouldn't touch a towel after you've showered
You might want to revise your showering technique.
ok so by that logic
would you gladly put your nose right up against somebody's freshly washed anus and take a good sniff? i mean if it's 100% clean there's no problem right?
Depends on the person
I'm deeply suspicious of the some of the levels of hygiene of some folks posting here.
Oh dear
That's never something I've questioned before. I've always done B and I always will. Never gonna dry myself there first, then my face and hair after.
But its clean.... Surely....
Yeah, but just the IDEA of rubbing the towel in my face after is not very appealing.
I guess you do A then.
Rub the towel in your face first then
Working from the top down is the only way that makes sense anyway
No point drying your legs (or arsehole) if water is still dripping down from your face, etc...
forgive them father
For they know not how awful their thread is.
Theo will be so proud
but you're wrong
hairdryer
ill normally back myself up to an open window
and just let the wind whistle around. since this is a thread about rectae i may aswell plug my blog:
http://www.edgarallenspoodiary.wordpress.com
I like the blog
My mum works at the Bradford Royal Infirmary, I might forward her that entry to see what she thinks.
that would be most appreciated
the scumbag blog wont update at the moment so it's stuck. there's so many slights on Joe Pasquale that need to be made that it's driving me kerayZ
This is amazing
"Underpants Guinness" :D
Hahahahahaha :D
ITT: filthy disgusting people
Oh and for the Frenchmen apes saying that oh it's clean after you shower
all I'm saying is, wipe it with toilet roll and look at it when you've taken a horrible dump recently before. Tell me that's clean. No, it doesn't matter if you fondle your anus with the soap, it will not be clean until wiped. Just try it and look, you have nothing to lose seeing as you already have no dignity and your face and hands are covered in shit.
Sounds like you have a problem with your arse-wiping technique
if it takes the initial wiping, a shower, and a secondary wiping to get it near clean.
of course it takes an initial wiping
western ass wiping after a shit is not good enough obviously, as has been discussed many times before on here. just try it, wipe your ass with toilet roll after a shower if you've been shitting stunners lately. it wont be clean, I promise you.
I'm going to struggle to phrase this delicately
But, the thing with showers, right, is that - much like people who "go to the gym" and just fanny about chatting the whole time instead of working up a sweat - you actually have to make use of them to see the benefit.
You can't just stand under the shower, have a wee token wash of the armpits (maybe your hair if if's a special occasion) and step out again expecting to be magically spotlessly clean from head to anus to toe. You have to wash stuff to get clean. Otherwise you're just going to have clean armpits and be a bit moist everywhere else.
JUST TRY IT FFS
So, I tried it
Now, it takes a big person to admit they're wrong. It's not always easy to do.
I had a curry yesterday. I had a large cappuccino this morning. I will spare you the other salient details and assume this is sufficient background.
So, after my post-work shower (not standard, but see above, plus rushing about between two cities today) and tried to much-maligned toilet paper method.
Clean as a whistle.
LEARN HOW TO USE A SHOWER PROPERLY, YOU CLATTY, MANKY BAD 'UNS!
*diet
Anus drying etiquette:
1. Don't post about it on the internet
the end
mad because you're filthy
mad because you lack my trolling expertise and have to resort to this kind of thread
I don't even understand that post
you do
yeah?
yea
See all these weird squeamish people...
...that get their knickers into a muddle over every little hygiene issue. You know the ones I mean. Some of them have posted in this thread. Well they must be a pure brilliant laugh.
Also I've got to assume they are virgins, otherwise how would they deal with the possible germ implications of having a right good ride.
:D
thewza makes a comeback only to this that post?
he must feel strongly about anuses or something
do you know what etiquette means?
Yes
How rude
Perma-ban anyone that goes with A.
I don't care you if you sandblast your sphincter and then soak it in bleach for an hour, you still don't use the damned towel to dry it.
typical anus toweller
http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10507140.jpg
I lol'd loudly.
I have just realised i have no idea how my bumhole gets dry after a shower.
This has literally rocked my world.
I'd never even thought of wiping my arse with toilet roll after getting out of a shower. Given that my arse will be clean before entering the shower, and then I wash it again in the shower, using a towel on it to dry it is ABSOLUTELY FINE. Secondly, we have a seperate toilet room that isn't en-suite to the bathroom with the shower in. Therefore it's not even easy to do this in my place. Drying your arse with a towel is fine.
I don't mind these sorts of threads on DiS. One of them even made me convert to sitting down to wipe. But this is a step too far.
Given that my arse will be clean before entering the shower
if you wipe your ass with dry toilet roll after a shit and really believe this then sorry but you're absolutely and completely delusional. try it once, you won't go back. sitting down to wipe though, now THAT'S a step too far. I mean what kind of man wipes his anus while sitting down?
oh yeah quotes don't work
you have issues with wiping your bottom
http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10507649.jpg
you're pretty bad at this internet stuff
don't you have a protest to attend?
Either you don't wipe properly or somehow excrement seeps through your closed sphincter
are you kidding me right now?
EVERYONE knows that wiping your ass with dry toilet paper does not make for a *clean* anus. if you took a shit on your hand, would you be ok with just wiping your hand off with dry toilet paper?
No, I'd wash it afterwards
Probably with soap and hot water.
If only there was some kind of device which allowed you to clean your *entire body* in such a manner.
We can only dream.
You know I stood up to wipe my arse
until I met Mrs Mortdecai. Would never go back - sitting down is far more efficient and effective. Probably because the arse cheeks are spread - and I'd say this is your issue after a particularly chunky shit, when you stand up your cheeks are coming together, mingling fecal matter with your hairy arse and making it more difficult to clean properly.
I often wondered why I stood up to wipe my arse, but after toilet training the little Mortdecais, I realise that it's easier to wipe a toddler's bum if you get them to stand up (and bend over). I imagine as a toddler myself I just got the impression that standing up to wipe the anus was simply what one did.
well
I use the towel. Its my towel. No one else uses it therefore I will have no one elses bum germs on my face but mine....and I'm fine with that because I clean everywhere properly.
Enjoy a bit of hep-C then.
Hep-C from a towel?
If you are shitting blood
You should probably see someone about it.
Did I get the wrong hep? idk w/e
I think you're thinking about Hep A which is a completely different kettle of fish
and even then as long as you're not sharing towels I don't see how it could be an issue - considering you would have already been infected with the virus?
Yeah I was completely joking.
check your hamper for your towel
I think 13monsters just broke into your house and nabbed it
always dry my anus
with my towel
Both of those are revolting!
c) get my wife to gently blow on my sopping ring for five minutes
i just let it dry like a normal person?
but unfortunately i have an annoying habit of lathering it up and then forgetting to rinse it. and you have to get back in the shower, if you don't the soap dries and it's a horrible feeling.
sometimes I just let it dry naturally too
it all depends on how much hair your have down there I think.
oh i forgot to wash off soap once
yeh....it's reaaallly horrible...
I don’t use towels. I use a hair dryer set on cool. It takes a bit longer but it feels lovely
And then i finish off with a little talc on my testes and bum.
Wish I had time to do this more often.
wish i didn't have time to read these DiS threads
Go make some more noise.
maybe i should record this drying process
*i don't actually do this
i had to hold my breathe
to stop from squealing
good band name maybe
talc on my testes
Brilliant.
fuck me
if you really think that you're in the majority being part of the 'B' camp you are seriously deluded.
personal hygiene gone mad.
no you're just a filthy fuck
case closed thread close nanananananana not listening.
haha.
for the record i have just asked all four of my housemates (2 girls 2 boys) and NONE of them said they would go to the effort of getting toilet to clean the ring. towel is the only answer.
Getting Toilet
Toilet? Toilet you there mate? Can you just come over and clean my ring?
Can't believe this made me do an actualol in the office
Cheers
I pay someone to dry it
with cotton buds.
I use my anus
to dry my towel.
i hate drying off after a shower
it takes too long and you can never quite get yourself completely dry
and i certainly can't wait, that gets very frustrating
ideally i'd have a full body thing that blows hot air on me. that would be wonderful.
People do B?
lol
No, person does
apparently
why the hell would i dry my anus
Lubed at all times eh?
:D oh dear
i have seen some things in my time
but this thread
i just
A or B, pal.
Take a side or gtfo.
Keep thinking this thread is about Angus Deayton.
Do you still have that tickling in your anus?
I tend to use a passing bunny rabbit
BIIIITCHESSSSS
oh rick.
what's this i don't even
In the interest of science, I tried a post-shower wipe as advised
As expected, I was clean as a whistle. Can I now suggest you try wiping more thoroughly, and maybe actually clean yourself while in the shower?
If toilet paper really isn't doing it for you, you might like to try an advanced combination move using wet wipes towards the end of your regular paper-based routine.
hi, thanks for trying
ok clean as a whistle, but keep in mind that there are a lot of shit related things that can't always be seen with the naked eye. Also, it is usually clean for me too. It's just if you've done a total stunner of a shit that sometimes you'll notice the toilet paper discolour as it wettens from your soaking wet anus hair. and hell yes to wet wipes.
http://imgur.com/A4iR7
+
http://imgur.com/utu8s
I think the far more disturbing revelation here
is that there are people in the world who, having taken a dump, give themselves only a half-arsed wipe — LITERALLY — before re-entering the general population.
KEEP YOURSELVES AND YOUR UNCLEAN ANUSES AWAY FROM ME, HALF-ARSED WIPERS!
i've only skim-read
but that's not the case really is it. mehodor is right, toilet paper doesn't clean, it wipes. if you got shit on your hand and wiped it off with toilet paper, you wouldn't go and eat a packet of crisps.
this is simple stuff.
^half-arsed wiper sympathiser!
that'd be a reasonable interpretation
if it weren't for the fact that these people are also arguing that wiping PLUS showering won't clean an arse but wiping PLUS showering PLUS a subsequent wipe somehow magically will.
Articulating your point in this logic, these people would say you need to wipe the shit off their hands, then washing with soap AND THEN wiping their hands with toilet paper again (not a towel).
this thread
is amazing.
All i will say in this thread is simply that white towels and I don't mix.
^ Doesn't wash properly, just get's a bit wet then wipes the dirt off.
a la that fat prick in Pulp Fiction.
People do B?
People stand up to wipe their arse? This thread has blown my mind. It's fucked.
the thises :D
not B
B is surely a recipe for ending up with clumps of damp bog roll stuck to your soggy arse crack. That stuff is literally made to disintegrate on contact with water.
Great start to the week.
i just gently pat it dry and then let the air do its work. Do you dry your knob/minge with the towel? And feet? And pits? YOU PEOPLE DISGUST ME!!!!!!!
So.
I'm very open-minded to any theories of potentially compromised hygeine so I did this today.
As expected and hoped for, my batty was perfectly clean from the shower itself.
I'm very worried for you Mehodor. I don't think you're being thorough enough with your cleaning techniques.
This thread articulates why I'm so scared of having children.
There are some things I assumed were so straight-forward, so natural, that you would barely need to teach them to your youngsters. Now, I just have no idea what's 'right' any more.
It's called a PILE-ON!
double double toilet trouble
This thread is still making my head spin.
i must say as an abdl i wear a diape
like a flannel?
I think anyone who keeps a dedicated arse flannel has some issues.
More like seven dedicated arse flannels.
You're not going to do an arse flannel wash every day, are you?
This is KiK isn't it?
Hi.
I'm not wearing anything other than my small bum drying hand towel.
on her face.
All of this debate has already been solved:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wow-Stuff-PD-1001-Arse-towel/dp/B00080XPUY
Amazing!
Ahem.
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4306352#r6330145
Like I said, the debate has already been solved!
(Didn't see those, sorry).
to those who do B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27UvJrsf9Zc
Just had a shower
Didn't really feel the need to rigorously dry my anus.
There's my Alanis Morissette tribute name sorted then
An Anus Moist Towelette
trust you to be thinking about my
ringpiece
well that your whole aim posting this thread right?
i just had a shower
and couldnt stop thinking about drying my anus
a new low
*mehodor's
:-O~~~
their ankles look really
weird.
I still think about this.
The other day I thought "Most people have white towels. Surely, if everyone's arse was dirty after a shower, everyone's towels would be full of skid marks."
Yes.
http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4306352#r6330203