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Why do people think it's fun to tell me them. It's not.
Gap year adventures
if I'm not in them and no one is naked, I don't care.''
WHAT YOU DREAMT ABOUT
UNLESS YOU DREAMT ABOUT
That Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas was a pre-op transsexual and she was dating (porking) Quentin Tarantino. They were both causing me a lot of stress because their sexual escapades kept making me miss the bus. But I guess you lot don't want to hear about that, do you?
cos i really don't care. It's not funny. Being drunk isn't funny unless you're the one that's currently drunk.
think I might leave a note downstairs to let people know about this. They need to know.
So, I never normally have memorable dreams, but on Saturday, post Fenino and other unpleasantness, I had a terrifying nightmare. I was in some sort of holiday park, it was night time, and everyone was screaming and panicking because there three people around the camp with guns and they were on a shooting spree. No one knew who they were so people were running around blindly. Then I saw a man in a suit with a sub machine gun who wad firing at us and laughing. It was Piers Morgan. He kept saying that he didn't care any more. I tried to run away, but my legs were seized up, I just stumbled backwards. He kept shooting in my direction. And then I woke up.
I realise how farcical this now sounds, but I was pretty messed up.
Trying to pick it apart, it's the obvious anxiety dream (not being able to run away from something), plus Morgan is a journalist of sorts, so maybe it's work stress.
Also, reading about the Port Arthur massacre in the Scary Door thread may have had some influence.
My Dad (being a P.I and ex-copper in Australia) said he was at some party/function and was talking to a guy who was the police negotiator that talked Martin Bryant down from the burning house at the end.
for how one day piers morgan is going to shoot you in the legs.
Also that was a terrible story.
piers morgan saying "i don't care anymore" firing a machine gun and laughing is a fantastic image
I would give you a gold star but I'm off my fucking nut on battery fluid
it's okay stay calm
I'm perfectly calm, I just find a nice dollop of hyperbole makes things a bit more interesting.
Anyway, do you not have a lecture on bird spaff to be going to?
don't you just hate them?
with the lols...!
- Your job
- Scuba diving
- The X-Factor
Drunk stories isn't on the list.
*Probably not a comprehensive list.
to my new job as a scuba photographer in Thailand?
We went to Chamonix. Have you been? The conditions were perfect, great powder.
spot on. angers me even thinking about it.
Ski season clashes with X factor season.
and it was actually the first time I ever got drunk. Wanna hear about it?
i don't mind stories where being drunk isn't the main focus of the story.
This rarely happens though.
Like, when someone starts their story "So I was really drunk ... ", I start thinking "AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED? I bet you had sex with someone really attractive, or maybe comically unattractive, or somehow got into a fight with someone so much larger or smaller than yourself that it was especially entertaining and interesting", only for them to say "I fell over outside McDonalds, lol". That annoys me a bit.
in which my imagination runs away with itself.
Sometimes I tell them what should've happened while they were pished and they don't like it.
Oh and one time Melody was SOOOOOOOOOOOO drunk at our Shooting Club awards ceremony after she'd had two glasses of Chateux Neuf de Pape that she went up to get the award and she like, made a TOTAL fool of herself! *posh girl laughing*
She had gigantic norks though, so we tolerated it
She was the daughter of a best mate of the MD, so she would come in and do work experience all the time, and basically the MD would give her your job to do and make you do menial tasks. Not the best when you were trying to ramp up your experience to get a more senior role to have your work taken and given to an unqualified 19 year old.
She also told those boring posh girl stories where nothing happens and she titters to herself the whole way through.
In one of the universe's cruel tricks despite being a horrible person she was absolutely stunning, including an absolutely monumental rack. Life is unfair
I got a bit excited at 'titters', though.
with them covered in glitter.
That caused some interesting moral quandrys
It's at its weirdest when there's a gang of them, and they all seem to know which bits of the anecdote to pretend to laugh at.
boring, boring people.
also, depends what happens in the drunk story. if you just threw up and stuff, whatever.
sometimes its just nice to tell people that you get bored when people say stuff, and for them to agree.
It's okay I'll always have Marckee and Nestor. We'll start a breakaway forum and it'll be great and have no unnecessary drunk stories.
geez get a grip on reality.
and fuck already :P
it's usually the person telling me about their dream that does.
Admittedly, that's usually after I've gone, 'Whatever' or something and started reading a book or walked out of the room.
is they have a massively inflated sense of how interesting it actually is, so you end up hearing every single detail of it.
also people like to tell them in a sort of "wow aren't i so weird and interesting?" way which is annoying. yes you watched your grandma marry a giant sloth man, great. except you didn't you imagined it. that doesn't mean it can't be interesting or funny, just do remember that it didn't actually happen and it's just something you imagined in your sleep. cheers.
and extend the last syllable of each word on the list. e.g. "yeah we had a great party on saturday night, you know, a few frieeeeeeeeeeends, lots of wiiiiiiiiiine, a few acoustic guitaaaaaaaaaaaars, some canduuuuuuuuuuuuuls...."
beat dream stories. The thing about dream stories is other people's are really bloody dull, however 1st thing in the morning your own crazy dream is so overwhelmingly awesome you can't wait to tell people, so you forget this and go for it. Especially as you will forget in twenty minutes.
what a fucking fun sponge.
except at this point they've forgotten that something actually needs to happen for it to be funny or even anything at all, so they just say "hey remember that time we got really drunk on sidekicks?"
"yeah, man. yeah, i do"
that I know this is a trap.
That post isn't racist OR sexist.