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Is this acceptable? Have you done it? Do you do it often? Any good club toilet related stories?
that you seem to take in it though
Doing it in a toilet inside a club is probably fine though
Pooed in a good few, too.
It really fucking annoys me how few have decent locks.
I nearly got locked in Bumper in Liverpool after falling asleep in there. Got escorted out by a bouncer, I'd just woken up so didn't have a clue where I was. Clubs are weird when they're empty.
PS Hi mousse
crouching over the urine spatter seat, feet slipping on the wet floor whilst holding the broken door closed
i find it quite thrilling
Have I ever done it? Thankfully, no. Can't imagine anything worse. Toilet seat invariably missing, door usually doesn't shut properly, toilet paper in tiny individual sheets to be better used as tracing paper, toilet already blocked up with vomit, floor a toxic mess... Maybe I should go to better clubs.
especially after having a curry first.
So much the stench taht the tiolet attendant gassed me over the top of the door with some horrid (though probably better smelling) room spray.
Unpleasant at best.
Luxury soaps in the sink, and the disposable paper towels were so thick they were practically fabric.
if you gotta poo, you gotta poo.
the bouncer collared him and he acted all indignant and started saying he was a teacher and would never do something like that and the bouncer apologised.
Don't see him much these days.
I hope you appreciate it.
Who was well into me, because having had a massive curry before hand I hand to go for a massive shit in Infernos.
When I came back she was gone
maybe she thought you'd wandered off.
Sadly the toilet queues in Infernos are something else
Yet at various indie clubs I've had glasses thrown at me, been floored by 3 blokes, had some skinny cunt smash a pint glass out of my hand and a myriad of other tales and scrapes
is making me need a poo
they're so more-ish.
You know when you THINK that you need to puke, and you're hovering over the bowl wondering if you should stick your fingers down your throat? I'm helping to move that situation along. I like helping people.
alcohol reeks havoc on your stomach
it was November the 30th roughly, and we'd just arrived, gone to our hostel and nipped out for Chinese before boozing it up. we ended up at a club called Carpe Diem 2 (as advised by someone on here 5 years ago). as you'd expect in Poland in winter, it was flaming freezing out, so i'd wrapped up warm. i expect i'd given my coat in at the cloak room, though that's not really relavent. at some point during the evening, something i'd eaten, be it the Chinese or otherwise, had disagreed with me and i found myself needing to plunge my bum gunge somewhere. thankfully the adult in me managed to get to the toilet just in time and i exploded what would probably have been a skatters heaven everywhere. slightly unfortunately they don't seem to have toilet roll in toilets in carpe diem 2, so i was left with runny shit all over my arse. as i said it was freezing outside, so i was reluctant to remove my socks as i didn't want to catch a chill, and there was only so much they could have done anyway. so... i set about completing one of my finest ideas ever. Fashioning 3 small blue rizlas at a time into sheets of makeshift TP. About 15 minutes later and with the results of many a torn rizla all over my fingers I managed to escape only to find they also don’t have soap in toilets in carpe diem 2. Not my happiest shit ever.
I was in a club near the river that has 6 floors, not sure what it’s called? Anyway, we’d been boozing all day before watching the 2006 world cup final in a square. So at about 3 in the morning, I needed to take a dump. I was thoroughly out of it, I think I’d been watching a girl dressed as a nurse ACTUALLY having sex on a man near one of the bars. Anyway, whilst taking a poo, I also needed to be sick. Knowing what happens when you need both at the same time from a much earlier experience, I decieded the only option was to stay sat and throw up all over the door. Thankfully they had toilet paper in this toilet. However, mid-wipe one of the bouncers noticed a vomitus river flowing out of my cubicle and he started to force open my door. My Czech is not that good, but I don’t think he was happy with me. Needless to say I wasn’t best pleased at being interrupted mid-wipe, so I shouted back in his face about how it’s rude to interrupt someone when they are on the toilet and how they should sort out the state of their toilets. He went away and shortly after I left the toilet I saw him taking a mop and bucket to whatever skanky arsed twathead had thrown up everywhere’s vomit.
he should instead have waited outside and thrown me out of the window
it had good form, probably a Bristol stool scale 3, i'd say. It did go on a bit too long but only required a few safety wipes.
but it was before it got busy. it did interupt the highlights of the Championship that i was watching though
IM HAVING A POO CRISIS! I just went for a massive and not particularly solid poo only to remember that last night I broke the flush on my toilet. I don't want to go to the maintenance people because they'll come up and look at my poo and laugh at me. Every second it's there it's getting more and more disgusting what am I to do??
Scoop it out with your hands, throw it out the window, then go to maintenance
disregard my answer. I meant this.
it now resembles a lumpy gravy, theres no way I could pick it up without some sort of scoop and all i have is a slotted spoon
and pour it into the toilet.
If that doesn't work climb into your bucket and die of shame.
have you had the lid of the cistern off?
also there is no cistern
was the handle connected to?
on the wall you should be able to get at the cistern.. a removable section or something :/ either that or try the bucket of water trick... that may just make the gravy runny though
Fill with water, empty down the toilet. This is all a flush does after all, empties loads of water from the cistern into the lav.
I thought the flush sucked the poo down the toilet
Takes a few tries sometimes. The flush does no sucking, just shoves water down your bowl. Bit of a con really.
Pub/Club Combo sounds like a large sandwich.
with a tactical chunder in the middle
AMIRITE LADS / PO?
Who needs a poo at that time of night?
It's better to get it out of the way on the night rather then waking up with the hangover shits
can have strange effects on the body
Eat a kebab while watching Transformers in the cinema, follow that by drinking about eight pints of Abbot Ale and then head to Tramps in Worcester for an evening of energetic dancing and not do a poo.
...when I just absolutely HAD to go and when I did get to the toilets, all the cubicle doors had been taken off. All four of them. I did consider doing it without them but that would have been too much.
They'd never take the doors off in there
Fucking hell, that stuff does some crazy things to your guts. Proper eggy farts, massive squelchy wet coiled messes in the morning. Must be all the yeast.
you should all be ashamed