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if DiS was a pub who would be which typical pub characters ?

iamwiggy [Edit] [Delete] 88 replies 13:41, 22 September '11

?

sean would be the landlord, dropping in now and then, with a smile and a nod at the regulars who give him his income.

who would be:

the guy who's always watching 'his' tv who will get shitty with you if you try to change the channel

the lonely person who drinks very slowly and falls asleep in the corner

the guy at the bar trying to start an argument just for the sake of it (gotta be CG, surely)

the guy flashing his money around

the couple having a cheeky shag in the toilets

the young barmaid who flirts with all the customers

the person wearing 2 coats cos they're always outside, chain smoking

the person who complains every week about the prices rising

the person who only has one pint but eats 5 packets of crisps

the manager

the couple who are always within 2ft of each other

the jolly chef

the underage drinkers hanging around outside cos everyone knows they're underage

the underage drinkers who have sneaked in because they're not local

...other pub sterotypes ?

i'm off to work, i will be disappointed if this thread isn't a success.

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  • you've given me too many choices

    colon_closed_bracket | 22 Sep '11, 13:43 | X
  • I would like to be

    the couple having a cheeky shag in the toilets

    But that would blatantly be Pickled and X.

    I would be..er where's the pisshead that falls about and then attempts to kiss everyone?

    marilyninthesky | 22 Sep '11, 13:43 | X
    • you obviously wasn't at Zonino

      :/

      marilyninthesky @Masculinity | 22 Sep '11, 13:50 | X
      • the pub has ceased trading

        shame

        jacques_le_biscuit_ | 22 Sep '11, 13:46 | X
        meths, Royter-Hatfood, and the_dazzled this'd this
        • Bankrupted by the extensive plumbing work necessary after Theo did his thing.

          DanielKelly @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 22 Sep '11, 13:48 | X
          meths, JohnM, and meowington this'd this
      • wishpig would be the landlord.

        poptimusgrime | 22 Sep '11, 13:47 | X
        • *landperson

          poptimusgrime @Masculinity | 22 Sep '11, 15:48 | X
          • *earthcustodian

            robluvsnic @poptimusgrime | 22 Sep '11, 15:51 | X
            • *custodiwoman

              mac_daddy @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 16:20 | X
            • *Mother Earth

              poptimusgrime @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 19:03 | X
        • i have KiK down as the guy who stands there with a fistful of coins, swearing at the fruit machine

          colon_closed_bracket | 22 Sep '11, 13:49 | X
        • the lonely person who drinks very slowly and falls asleep in the corner

          is thewarn

          JohnM | 22 Sep '11, 13:56 | X
          • him being one of the few DiSers I've seen drunk

            I can confirm that he does look very sleepy when drunk.

            colon_closed_bracket @JohnM | 22 Sep '11, 13:58 | X
        • I bet that you thought that this would have a billion replies by now.

          This is the Waterworld of the DiS forum today.

          moousee | 22 Sep '11, 15:23 | X
          -dan- and diabetic_lucifer this'd this
        • CG would be the guy flashing his money around

          because whenever we go to a pub, he waves his £10/£20 note across my face and says 'smell the wealth'.

          He's such a cunt.

          meowington | 22 Sep '11, 15:26 | X
        • id be the young barmaid who flirts with everyone

          diabetic_lucifer | 22 Sep '11, 15:27 | X
          -dan- this'd this
        • Most of us would be at home, crying into a pillow.

          Icarus-Smicarus | 22 Sep '11, 15:27 | X
          MissBass this'd this
        • I will be outside smoking most of the time

          but not wearing two coats. I'm from scotland FFS, I'll be out there in my vest.

          PickledOeuf | 22 Sep '11, 15:30 | X
        • I was hoping for more from this thread

          Scout | 22 Sep '11, 15:38 | X
          colon_closed_bracket this'd this
          • FINE you're the girl that everyone fawns over and cant stop flirting with. Even though they know their attentions will be cruelly rebuked for some flash cunt who turns up a open top sports car

            ffs

            Songs_about_ducking @Scout | 22 Sep '11, 15:47 | X
            • dude, did you get your period or something

              Scout @Songs_about_ducking | 22 Sep '11, 15:50 | X
              • I dont want to come to Manchester

                on my period. How did you guess?

                Songs_about_ducking @Scout | 22 Sep '11, 15:52 | X
                • good, you and your pms can sit at home eating chocolate and crying

                  alone.

                  Scout @Songs_about_ducking | 22 Sep '11, 15:55 | X
                  • mite treet masen 2 a tkaway

                    n wtch bridgitt jones! Bliss :)

                    Songs_about_ducking @Scout | 22 Sep '11, 15:58 | X
          • ^the person who complains every week about the prices rising

            robluvsnic @Scout | 22 Sep '11, 15:48 | X
        • i'd be the guy....

          who tells everyone in the pub the same stories over and over again, and sees any new entrance as fresh ears for another yarn.

          michael_w | 22 Sep '11, 15:39 | X
          meowington and ChintzyLacroix this'd this
          • "hey, mikey

            tell us that story again about the girl who vommed in your bed"

            robluvsnic @michael_w | 22 Sep '11, 15:50 | X
            Icarus-Smicarus this'd this
            • *rolls up sleeves*

              so my parents had just gone to spain for two weeks.....

              michael_w @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 15:58 | X
          • You actually would.

            PS!! http://www.wearetbc.com/2011/08/monday-26th-september/

            ChintzyLacroix @michael_w | 22 Sep '11, 15:53 | X
            • let's bloody do it.

              but i'm only going if i can tell all the girls about the time that a girl was sick in my bed

              michael_w @ChintzyLacroix | 22 Sep '11, 16:00 | X
              • I'm only going if you do that, too.

                And I want you to use your three minutes with me to tell me the story.

                So this Monday? Really? There is one on the tenth....

                ChintzyLacroix @michael_w | 22 Sep '11, 16:06 | X
                • yeah, not this monday.

                  10th. let's do it on the tenth.

                  michael_w @ChintzyLacroix | 22 Sep '11, 16:13 | X
                  • IT'S ON.

                    Work on your fake laugh, yeah?

                    ChintzyLacroix @michael_w | 22 Sep '11, 16:15 | X
        • I'd be

          The tourist who happened to stumble upon a strange pub full of locals

          Matt_was_taken | 22 Sep '11, 15:43 | X
          • that's the same with any newbie

            at least if DiS was a pub we wouldn't all assume that any newcomer was CG under a new guise.

            colon_closed_bracket @Matt_was_taken | 22 Sep '11, 15:50 | X
            • Cg? Who is CG? My name is Guy Incognito.

              -dan- @colon_closed_bracket | 22 Sep '11, 15:51 | X
        • grouchland would be stuck outside, but he wouldn't care.

          brightonb would be on the park bench on his own.

          Cowcow would be playing on the pool table a lot.

          svenrokk | 22 Sep '11, 15:58 | X
          • This is probably the only correct one out of the thread so far.

            You're all shit.

            malick @Permafrost_Cities | 22 Sep '11, 20:10 | X
          • Oh

            I'd be the sullen barman who takes ages to serve everyone and looks so pissed off that you think he might glass you.

            poptimusgrime | 22 Sep '11, 16:03 | X
          • Can I be frasier?

            Yesiamaduck | 22 Sep '11, 16:05 | X
          • I'd be that guy who you see down the pub.

            You know him, he's a nice bloke. Hangs out with crowd. One of Dave's mate. Nice guy. Never really spoken to him.

            hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 16:13 | X
            • wouldn't you be the guy who downs shot after shot

              and then people taunt you about it the next morning before posting the vid on youtube?

              robluvsnic @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 16:18 | X
              • Fundamentally bland but occasionally coaxed into drunken idiocy?

                Yeah, that still fits the bill.

                hip_young_gunslinger @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 16:24 | X
                • :D

                  I tried a quick search to see if I could find the thread to find the youtube link, but it's pretty hard when your search terms are as generic as "morning" and "shots".

                  robluvsnic @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 16:26 | X
                  • Kitchmo said he'd take it down.

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ56uj1IkEc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

                    He hasn't.

                    hip_young_gunslinger @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 16:29 | X
                    • Shortly followed by:

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQge_Yn-SLM&feature=player_embedded

                      hip_young_gunslinger @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 16:30 | X
                    • fantastic :"D

                      I'm still trying to figure out how someone managed to work a reference to her ovaries into the commentary.

                      robluvsnic @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 16:32 | X
                      • That was PO

                        I think she was saying something about how she felt motherly towards him.

                        DaisyFlower @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 16:39 | X
                        • I was feeling v maternal and disapproving of the high jinx

                          despite the fact that I'd probably sunk about as much as the birthday boy himself.

                          PickledOeuf @DaisyFlower | 22 Sep '11, 16:43 | X
                          • You bought me a very nice, very large glass of white wine.

                            Then someone put in a penny in it and I had to drink it all in one go :(

                            hip_young_gunslinger @PickledOeuf | 22 Sep '11, 16:45 | X
                            • now those are some parenting techniques I can get behind

                              robluvsnic @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 16:49 | X
                              • I remember passing it to him and saying

                                Josh, please don't down this in one, it's a rather fine Chablis :'''D

                                It lasted about 7 seconds.

                                PickledOeuf @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 16:51 | X
                                • It was the penny's fault!

                                  It was lovely, mind.

                                  hip_young_gunslinger @PickledOeuf | 22 Sep '11, 16:52 | X
          • The guy who watches in from the window

            Then occasionally comes in for a pint, a packet of monster munch and a chat about the footy.

            (A dis pub would be weird, there would be tons of people just looking in through the windows)

            yousername | 22 Sep '11, 16:21 | X
          • i'd be one of the guys who blend into the background, nobody notices

            but is still almost always there

            prunes | 22 Sep '11, 16:21 | X
          • I'd be the former regular

            who pops in from time to time just to review the odd movie, defend ricky gervais and back-up a funny meths comment.

            bobbygeorge | 22 Sep '11, 16:22 | X
            • OMG SADPUNK IS ONLINE!!!

              IndieAndy_Jones @bobbygeorge | 22 Sep '11, 16:25 | X
            • A funny Meths comment?

              You're no former regular.

              ChintzyLacroix @bobbygeorge | 22 Sep '11, 16:27 | X
              -dan- and robluvsnic this'd this
              • he did one once.

                i'm sure he did.

                bobbygeorge @ChintzyLacroix | 22 Sep '11, 16:39 | X
                • file not found

                  mac_daddy @bobbygeorge | 22 Sep '11, 16:43 | X
                  robluvsnic and ChintzyLacroix this'd this
            • ^^^

              he'd also be the guy that starts the sing along to george michael or something equally as crap. which everyone would join in with.

              meths @bobbygeorge | 22 Sep '11, 16:50 | X
              • ^^^he'd be the guy quoting his favourite sitcom ALL NIGHT

                basically, Colin from The Fast Show. I'd still join in though.

                bobbygeorge @meths | 22 Sep '11, 16:58 | X
                meths this'd this
            • No wonder you're hardly ever sighted

              if your modus operandi is leaping into action after funny meths comments. Even the telegraph operator still gets called into action a couple of times a year

              Lucien @bobbygeorge | 22 Sep '11, 17:18 | X
              ChintzyLacroix this'd this
          • shucks, sadpunk, jordan and TSoB would be the covers band

            who played too-loud covers of Sweet Home Alabama, and the occasional bit of original material.

            Meowington, msmonipenni, PO and chintzy would occasionally club together on karaoke nights and do the Shoop Shoop Song (PO on lead, the others on shoops)

            colon_closed_bracket | 22 Sep '11, 16:32 | X
            sadpunk this'd this
            • :D

              I did suggest Diana Ross and the Supremes.

              ChintzyLacroix @colon_closed_bracket | 22 Sep '11, 16:36 | X
              • *Katrina and the Waves

                colon_closed_bracket @ChintzyLacroix | 22 Sep '11, 16:38 | X
                • A gentleman's wash.

                  A gentleman's wash.
                  If you think there's any chance of getting a nosh.

                  hip_young_gunslinger @Masculinity | 22 Sep '11, 16:46 | X
                  this'd this
                  • is this to the tune of "on a rope"?

                    colon_closed_bracket @Masculinity | 22 Sep '11, 16:55 | X
                    ChintzyLacroix this'd this
                  • Go on then, just this once

                    use my arsehole as a cunt.

                    Icarus-Smicarus @hip_young_gunslinger | 22 Sep '11, 17:26 | X
                • I like the sound of this.

                  We're called 'Dice Commentary'

                  shucks @colon_closed_bracket | 22 Sep '11, 17:48 | X
                  • superb!

                    colon_closed_bracket @shucks | 22 Sep '11, 18:00 | X
                    sadpunk this'd this
                • Can I be the one stood by the pool table getting steadily pissed

                  and asking everyone if they want a game?

                  cheers.

                  Verbal | 22 Sep '11, 16:51 | X
                  • I'll play you for the table

                    robluvsnic @Verbal | 22 Sep '11, 16:53 | X
                    • sure. It's not mine, but yeah.

                      And I'll 5-ball you.

                      Verbal @robluvsnic | 22 Sep '11, 16:55 | X
                • i'd be mike

                  y'know, mike. 'im wit' tattoos that's seein' phil's dawhta

                  Jordan_229_2 | 22 Sep '11, 17:54 | X
                • I would be the too eager pub quizzer who always insists that its a serious business and that we can seriously win

                  creakyknees | 22 Sep '11, 18:43 | X
                • this pub is a sausage-fest

                  i'm off to the barley mow

                  the_dazzled | 22 Sep '11, 19:13 | X
                  • you cannot resist my charms

                    diabetic_lucifer @the_dazzled | 22 Sep '11, 19:40 | X
                • i'd be drinking at home

                  cheers.

                  lameosaur | 22 Sep '11, 19:59 | X
                  this'd this
                • well i sneaked in, that's for sure

                  politelydeclined | 22 Sep '11, 20:18 | X
                • not a bad effort

                  the last thread i posted just before going to work hit 100 replies but this could've gone worse.

                  i guess i'd be the guy who starts a conversation and then fucks off to the toilets.

                  iamwiggy | 22 Sep '11, 23:55 | X
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