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I haven't, but there's got to be a few interesting stories right?
Of course I've never been arrested.
and I got arrested and things, but then they let me go.
...my mate swiped a flashing orange light from some roadworks before jumping in my car. A concerned onlooker (ie a busy old bitch) phoned the police and gave them my number plate - police turned up at my mum's place and arrested me, much to the amusement of my step-dad (who incidentally has done proper time). I did 30 minutes in a police cell before they let me go and told me not to be so silly in future. I didn't crack in those 30 minutes and give my mate up tho :)
That said, prison changes you man...
It was A-level results day and a few of my mates and I were sat in the pub that a few of us worked in.
We were getting the train into town but thought we should get some beers for the journey. Being young and impressionable, we decided to get some Coronas. Someone suggested getting some limes so we could be totally cool and sip on Corona and lime on the train. Great idea, but we wouldn't be able to cut the limes. Ever the quick-thinker, I decided to grab a steak knife from the pub kitchen, problem solved.
Walking across the pub car park, I decided I couldn't be arsed carrying a steak knife to the shop with me so put it in the bin (unbeknown to my friends). Didn't really think much of it.
Literally 2 minutes later, on the main road to the shop, a police van pulls up to us, saying we matched the description of a group of lads who'd chased and stabbed a younger lad around the corner.
We all got ID'd and searched on the street, it was pretty scary. The look on my mate's faces when I got through the search without trouble was amazing. Pretty lucky.
Couldn't have done it without you.
Less than an eighth for fuck's sake. Still can't believe they bothered nicking me for that.
Think that's where I got the inspiration from.
...to my disappointment the fuzz didn't collar me with the words 'you're nicked my son'.
Scrote: "Who the fuck are you?"
Policeman: "Ah'm the fuckin' POLIS, son."
(needs to be imagined in the original Glaswegian accent for full effect)
We hadn't, and told them so.
They then demanded our names, because they said, if someone fell down the hole and died, we would be going to prison for manslaughter.
We of course laughed at them.
One of the guys I was with's dad was some big shot QC. Didn't quite know how much of one he was until he said his name to the coppers and their faces went ashen white and pissed off. Either that or he was lying and his dad was in fact a gangster
but other than that, I've been a very good boy and don't really have any big-shot stories to tell.
i've been told off tho, in a typical british police 'you're a naughty boy' way.
I'm not repeating them again though
then someone tried to steal their police car, and they lost interest in us. Apparently. I remember none of this episode. Great story.
I especially love neither of you remember and were told by the bar manager when he went to get his bag back
Cost me 750 quid to get out of it without a conviction in the end. Never again, worst feeling ever
I got taken back to the police station once because I was a bit drunk, with two boys and I was wearing a dress. I wouldn't tell them my name so they get proper radgey and had me up against the wall and that.
It's okay though, I still don't have a criminal record so we can still get married and immigrate to Canada. That's what all you wet tossers want isn't it?
seriously guys, summer is over.
can we put cronin away till next year?
hit the wheel of a moving police car with an empty bottle. Got away with it.
someone from the police station rang my dad before I left and told him to make sure I had a nice mug of tea waiting because I looked so upset and scared from the whole ordeal.
That's the kind of thug life I lead
...but i should have been on many many occasions
My favourite one was when walking home from the pub drunk and remembering that in spain if you kick a lamp post then it make sthe whole row go out (no idea why) i decided to try it on one of our sturdy metal english ones
It didnt work so i started to shake it, like really sjake it and the massive glass light fitting fell off the top right onto my head, knocked me to the floor, me and my mate were pissing ourselves laughing, i was covered in blood and started walking home then a police car pulled up and asked what the hell had happened to me, i clearly explained that i was drunk and nearly home and he let me on my merry way
I got home and went to bed
it wasnt a pretty sight in the morning
i still have a scar
Been pulled over for overtaking someone on a bridge after a night out. It was stupid. I was eating a foot long subway at the time too.
with melted cheese <3
the thing is, we were actually returning it to the co-op (as it was on the way home), not just being toggle-font wacky students
No damage. No harm done.
And was once escorted home by the police for knicking a tray full of Kinder Eggs from Woolworths.
Also, broke into my senior school....oh, and smashed up a vending machine at my mates Uni (£1000 for damages)
+ I got banned from the whole of Winchester for 24 hours.
but once I was making such a bad job of parallel parking my car outside my house, a policeman came over and offered to do it for me. I let him. It was very embarrassing.
My friend was taking a piss against a wall drunk so in my quick thinking way decided to run as this would draw them off and he wouldnt get a fine. Its fine I thought, I can outrun these two. 10 minutes later running through an estate they caught up with me and gave me a bit of a going over for screwing up their quiet Tuesday night. Night in prison. When I told them why I ran they started laughing, so ya know, whatever.
It's not rally like getting arrested, they don't read you their rights, they just drive around with you asking you questions whilst deciding what to do with you. On both occasions they decided to drive me home. On the first occasion, I'd given a false address and had to pretend to let myself into a girl called jennifer's flat up the road from me. thank God it had a storm door I could hide behind until they drove off.
On the second occasion, I was quite drunk and hadn't had the mental agility to remember to give a false address. They drove me home and I was sick in the back of their car when I leaned in to get my bag outside my house.
i'm very lucky.
as in British Telecom.
drunk and disorderly. still went out in a different city after i got released, lad
i was 11 and was bricking it that they'd tell my parents. they told us to behave ourself. my mate was certain they were stalking us for months after as he kept seeing police cars outside his house.
Oh, there was something with a replica gun when i was 16, but that, thankfully worked out for the best.
I used to go to a rock night at a place called Jillies on a Friday most weeks. I was like 16, and had just moved out, so was making the most of anywhere that would serve me. It was a well known fact that after about 3AM (it was an all nighter) they turned a blind eye to people having a sliff (probably because it calmed down those who were pilling). Anyway, it meant that I regularly took a bag of weed there.
One night on the way back, I rolled a cheeky joint on the bus, and then smoked it after I got off. Just as I nearly finished a police van pulled to a sharp stop next to me. A police man hurridly jumped out and started hurling questions at me. 'Who are you? Where have you been? Where are you going?' etc. The feeling of dread and fear that decended upon me has only been rivaled a couple of times since. My eyes were like saucers, I clearly stank of weed, and there was a still lit joint about 5 feet away from us. Without searching me, he opened up the side of the van and ordered me to 'GET IN'. Completely crapping myself and shaking like a leaf I got in, and the van had three members of the five-oh sat, and one spare seat. He then drove me back, all the way to my house, and kept on saying stuff like 'you should get a taxi next time, if you were my son, I wouldn't want him walking around on his own at this time of the night.' He stopped near my house, and then said, 'out you pop, hope that you've had a good night', then they drove off. My heart didn't stop racing for about 4 days.
i'd probably cry if i did though.
police put the fear into me
for walking through a multi storey car park without car keys or an apparent car. I told them I'd been dropped off on the wrong side from the stairs/lift and they believed me. In fact I'd gone looking for a toilet.
fuck the po po
The fine was cheaper than the registration.
but I've been stopped and searched at Newcastle station under counter-terrorism laws shortly after 7/7, apparently to fill a quota to prove the police don't just search foreigners. Got given a receipt both times as well which was exciting.
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrry can't get arrested it will ruin my career sorry sorry sorry please be nice sorry please sorry.
when i was caught cottaging