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Rather than learning on the job.
apparently there is a pill that men can take that increases their sperm amount - my ex gay flatmate used to get dodgy catalogues and they had an advert for this. The headline read "Why come in dribbles when you can come bucket loads"
or smoke. Semen = unnecessarily messy
he explained that apparently the force of loads of sperm hitting the special man spot in the bum is really nice.
I wish I never knew that.
If you want something that tasted like sugar, get a lollypop. Don't give me such crap that you only fucked him because of the taste of his jizz.
You're too young to be sprouting this filth.
...and an absolute lie. You're trying to establish yourself as DiS's resident sex and relationship counselor.
You're 18. Get back under your bed.
and it's supposedly affected by diet.
Use of medications (or recreational narcotics) can also allegedly have a pronounced affect on taste of semen.
If you wants tasty semen, drink loads of pineapple juice apparently. Or milk and honey.
Me and the GF (well the gf) experimented with this last year.
Response from gf: still tastes like spunk.
I can definitely tell when a man's been eating fruit.
also because evryone knows nothing turns a woman on like massive gobs of spunk...
Someone thought it's because porn stars have a wanking embargo put on them for a fortnight prior to filming to ensure a healthy build up.
I reckon it's CGI.
Surely not. I've seen some really low budget productions....they still feature massive jets of jism.
In my experience anyway............!
and you don't.
...do you reckon it's a hard job? (acknowledging that pun is way too obvious)
yes, documentary, not a "documentary" funny-haha people - that the male "talent" are told not to turn on the hose for at least 4 days beforehand. Don't think it's rocket science
I definately didn't squirt the amount that them porno lads do.
You ejaculate more when you have actual sex rather than a wank
You ejaculate more when you have actual sex for a long time
Combine the three, eat your vitamins, and b(l)ob's your uncle
Do you reckon they have lots of sex inbetween shooting these films? What happens if they ejaculate but they didn't get the shot?
I reckon its fake.
they have stunt doubles who come in and do the money shot.
Might turn a few heads.
^ has some tips for those who wish to become splurge cannons.
You see less of this ejaculate as it is often flying down a fanny tunnel, gob or bum 'ole.
do you give your partner fair warning when you gonna bust your load in their mouth? I tend to do an accompanying countdown - it's only fair
I'm just all like ''IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHRIIIIIISTMAS'' Noddy Holder style.
And I actually nearly did that thing that people always lie about doing, but actually never happens whereby I had a mouthful of tea and it nearly went all over the keyboard.
URAGH, ARRAHH, ONE! *tears*
5 - ignition, etc
That on a firing range they miss out "five" in the countdown because it sounds too much like "fire".
Do you skip "seven" because it sounds a bit like "semen"?
then give it a proper workover for 20 or 30 minutes before release you get a veritable torrent of goo
multiply this by the fact porn dudes are in the job for having top grade genitals and it all makes sense
Most of that will be searching for the right pic or scene in a movie though.
The pornstar Peter North eats a massive bunch of celery the day before every shoot to increase the old load.
So perhaps try that, she(or he...)'ll look like a plasterer's radio.
just watch that show anyway
and if you're no masturbating, you can't bukkake meths.
p.s. you shouldn't be reading this. If you are you're checking back into thread you want people to stop posting in.
p.p.s. I know you're reading this, loser.
Oh shit, the worst is yet to come. Bye bye.
except my approval for the phrase 'mucky pup'. Excellent.
i love the fact that the guy that starts the thread about how much we men ejaculate and how some can vary their load substantially, gets all indignant and when someone comes along and starts talking about the varying tastes of said ejaculate.
seems like double standards that, lad. it's all a load of jizz innit.
Just think your response of "18 years and 3 months" is very like something someone under the age of six would say when asked their age.
I got alot of that when I first joined and I always swore I wouldn't do it.
Mother...what have I become?
but nobody wants to hear the sordid details. You sound like one of the vile witches from Sex and the City.
...but then people start talking about the gargling experiments they do with their boyfriends slime and things took a turn for the worst.
ACTUAL sex anecdotes feel like they need the stamp of approval from both parties involved.
It tastes like roman buckets.
your kids will thank you, or you will thank me..
that is what I meant. I thought it was clear.