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i've worked with a helpline charity before where people have said it's made them feel a lot better since it's a stranger they're talking to, and they can say what's on their mind without fear of judgement/whatever's holding them back from talking to friends and family. hope you feel better soon!
but i called a helpline once when i was extremely depressed and it just made things worse. after telling them my problems all i got back was "that must have been really tough, how are you coping? i'm not legally permitted to give you my opinion" to be honest i don't know what i was expecting to get out of it, but after making the effort to reach out like that i just felt even more down
but i'm not really into talking about my problems, i know some people find it cathartic but it does nothing for me.
im just not sure what to do about it. if i talk, i just feel like im needlessly moaning and wasting peoples time, but if i do nothing i keep thinking about it and it gets worse...
then bottled it all up to a point where they couldn't cope anymore and did something bad. as for the helplines, give it a go. sure, it might not help but what harm can it do? sometimes it just helps to get things off your chest, to hear yourself actually vocalising the thoughts you've been having; as i say, if it doesn't help then you'll be in no worse a position than you're in now.
I do Samaritans stuff, and I've honestly never felt that about anyone - everyone has a valid reason for ringing. Give them a try, many people find that talking about stuff anonymously is a big help. Samaritans aren't able to give practical advice, but they are able to help you make sense of things and explore your feelings and come up with your own solutions to problems.
And crucially, if you get through to someone you don't feel much of a connection with, just hang up & redial - you'll get someone else who you may feel more comfortable with.
but it kind of is all you can do.
I'm all for telling people to MTFU, but sometimes its good to spill.
but I don't think I'd ever advise someone to do it, especially saying it's their only option.
talking about it doesn't change the problem. but yeah i shouldn't be stating that like it's gospel, sorry.
You might approach the problem in a different way.
sorry again. sleep deprived. being an idiot.
They should be able to refer you to a counsellor, if you feel like you need it.
They'll provide free counselling services for you if you get in touch with them. Or even if you just talked to a tutor rather than opening up to friends they might be able to help and you'd still be able to keep it private if you didn't feel talking made it better and wanted to ignore it.
it's surprising how certain things that are written about depression and so on can change your perspective or outlook.
Something like 'OMG, feelin really down :(' should do the trick.
Watch too much porn.
Use occasional Escorts / Prostitutes.
In that order.
That's what my mate did and he's much better now (although a little misogynistic)
In all seriousness venting to strangers can help so long as you ignore the mtfu comments.
Or the samaritans who are there for the very reason of not having someone to talk about it.
Other suggestions of drink/drugs/sex/wank/holiday/see your mates may or may not be applicable depending on your circumstances and why you're feeling down.
It does get better though!
But really, I drive around and scream along to something like Doolittle. Really cathartic. Or you can always tell people on Omegle.
Create something, whether it's just a hournal of how you'rew feeling, a story, some music. Maybe go for a run, bake a cake, start a project (even if you don't finish it- if you can make yourself start, youre going to feel some self-worth from that.)
If you think it's a major deperssive episode, then perhaps go to your GP, but be prepared for the fact that they might suggest medication, and whilst this can be extremely useful in getting you over a difficult hump in the road, it won't cure you. I once had to have some anti-depressants to get me through something. Prozac was like a dream. it was like somebody opening the blinds and letting the light in, and it gave me the energy to be able to get on and start solving my problems. (there was another one they gave me when my marriage broke down, and it make me go on all fours and bark like a dog, so I guess some work for some people and not others, and you'd need to be prepared for that.)
I have never known someone to bake a successful cake having never attempted to before. This would only worsen any depressive episode.
I think "eat a cake" would be better advice. A big lovely cake.
There must be a friend who would want to help you. I'd get a few beers, go round a friends, watch Garth Marenghi's Darkplace then hit town.
Ignore the jumped up prick.
always been a shit troll.
I find it can help make sense of things, and help you gain perspective of things, can also help work out why you're feeling down too.
modern anti-depressants (i.e. not prozac) have relatively few negative side effects and the GP should be able to refer you to someone who can get help.
it's a shame that people say 'oh, doctors just give you anti-depressants' as if they're always a crap solution. A close relative of mine who was severely depressed had a combination of discounted Gestalt counselling through a charity and anti-depressants, and the anti-depressants made such a massive noticeable difference, without the relative feeling numbed etc. The reason they're prescribed to people is that they work well a lot of the time!
and it's not like GPs just resort straight to antidepressants - lots of them are actually pretty reluctant to start patients on them unless they've tried the other avenues such as counselling and help groups. Posts like marilyninthesky's one further up the thread are actually pretty irresponsible.
That is just my personal experience from the four doctors I have seen in the past.
trick with the AD's is perseverance. Most will knock you sidewayz for the first couple of weeks. Stick with it. Also, CBT might be another road to go down, depending on your cicumstances. good luck man
I don't know if its a fully fledged thing or not. Both times there's been some sort of event that triggers it, but in short-ish , i feel worthless and as if i am a burden to society, and i am pretty certain nobody likes me, and don't think anybody ever has. Every time i speak i say something stupid, to the point where i might as well become a mute. Nobody has ever fancied me, i cant seem to lose any weight and everytime i think about that i hate myself even more and ive just gone on for waaaay to long.
you're not worthless and you have more to say than you probably realise. I struggle with confidence and depression and always have. If you're feeling like this i would take a wee scoot to the doctor, just to let them know how you're feeling.. Also do a little exersice and get more fruit and veg into you. It does actually help.
The good thing about all this is that you've come out and said about it to people. At least you're aware of whats going on. Being depressed is just like having a broken leg, just needs a little time to fix.
Thats pretty much why i'm posting on here.
If you want to chat then I won't do much to lighten your mood but at least you know I understand. Feel happy soon, my dear, big hugs.
Or do you just feel a little awkward/ashamed broaching it with your friends or family?
Get out and be visible... try your very hardest to do small, proactive things. A quiet drink or lunch or maybe just playing games round a friend's house. Failing that, buy some stationary and write a dear friend a meaningful letter.
If that doesn't work, come back and I will have other suggestions that aren't a self revolving deluge about me and my lot.
I have friends i suppose and people who i talk to, but nobody close and I get the feeling they don't want me there.
On a side note, i think this thread has helped a bit, so thank you all for suggestions and stuff.
But when I'm down (and I get stages that last weeks when I get down. I don't call it depression, but sad spells) I write little notes to myself. Things like,
"It's okay to be sad"
"Don't fall apart on me"
"Everything is okay"
"Don't get hysterical"
"It's not your fault"
That kind of thing helps me and stuff.
there are elements of CBT (i think) that are a bit like that. people given repetitive encouraging mantras to repeat. can be helpful as distraction/encouragement, i guess.
(also if they last weeks and you're sad all the time, that does sound like depression. are you sure you wouldn't be better seeing a doctor?)
And I seem to handle it myself, like, I've been really happy the past couple weeks. Also, my sad spells normally coincide with infections, so they're prob just an effect of them. (I get alot of them, due to medical problems etc etc)
i cant convince myself that any of it is true/how i feel.
as well as obviously the other good advice people are giving. I know a few people who've struggled with depression, and though it can be a very draining experience, they felt counselling was a very important step.
Then some big release through speaking to someone, breaking down in front of them. You think you have no one to talk to, but eventually it gets to a point where that doesn't matter, you just have to speak. Even after that it will still be very difficult. But with even just one person knowing and looking out for you it will make all the difference - make sure you go to the doctors, don't cut yourself off.
It has sort of worked out for me quite positively from there, though obviously it is easy to fall back. As others have said anti-depressants will not make you a zombie, my thinking is not impaired and I still have feelings. The key thing is that you will rarely just get anti-depressants alone these days; make sure your GP refers you to the NHS councilling service. I am having cognitive behavioural therapy. I know it sounds crap but when you are so depressed having someone to help you analyse how you think is amazing.
It will work out. I and a good proportion of the population understand.
That might refer more to post traumatic stress disorder though
i have 'suffered' from crippling anxiety all my life and i just need to DO things sometimes and get over thinking about things too much. good luck
i sometimes use ropes though.
but fair enough if that's what you do.
other things help though. when my grandfather died i went to the gym a lot and it helped me work through it. i havent read through yr thread so i dunno whether the problem is external, which sorta influences how i cope, i guess. outside of that volunteer work, pro-wrestling training. something that gets you meeting other people.
in some cases.
It is better to have no expectations for others to bring you happiness. This responsibility lies solely within you. Anyway, I'm to stop giving 'advice' now. The problem with asking for advice on messageboards is that people regress to their own experiences (me included), which is often really unhealthy for the person asking for help.
But it is good to know that other people have similar thoughts & feelings.
especially on such a personal subject.
i'd have killed myself a couple of years ago but for a couple of close friends, just having them there got me through things. i guess its dependancy, but i had no expectations from them.
anyway, you're right, this is getting completely off track.
honestly the worst times of my life were 1) when i left college 2) when i left uni. both times i didn't have a job and, in my head, a purpose. i've always been blessed with good friends but i'd feel decidedly akward talking to them or even to a starnger about it.
when i got a job things picked up - i quite liked the work i did, got to meet good people and sometimes go interesting places, go to the pub after work etc. sounds cheesy but it was like the life before my job was a million miles away.
not saying everyone needs to work to staisfy themselves but for me it's definately the case. also i find the gym or just going for a run helps if i'm feeling down.
I don't have a job. I'm trying to get a summer job, but everywhere I have applied hasn't rang me back. I'll probably find something at some point.
I don't think I have any particular career prospects, I'm not very good at anything, and I'm going to study music technology which I gather is notoriously unemployable.
I suppose that;s fair enough. You're lucky, I am useless at meeting/talking to people and don't really have any close friends.
if thats not an option (seems likely) watch this documentary which has a segment about why taking MDMA has therapeutic value
and then after you