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Or have every fact (not intuition or experience, but empirical fact) you've learnt since the age of 5 wiped from your brain?
Come on....if we're going to do this properly, you've got to answer honestly.
*Backs creaky into a corner* <<< Definately not pervy.
cos its helena bonham carter (its politically incorrect cos the silly cow has gone and been made freinds with cameron)......sorry thats not really difficult though.....OK its really really tricky to answer this one, cos to answer it in the true spirit requires that i come up with something that is a bit dodgey
fructifying the earth
and organised religeon over the ages......more pagany societies before more organised religeon would sometimes go symbolic fertility magic n stuff with the earth......organised religeon hates this sort of thing....over the ages this anti pagan practice warning, now seems to have been interpreted by moronic catholic church minds into 'dont wank for fun' and 'dont use condoms and just have sex for fun'......they really are prize chumps
You've gone wrong, creaky. I need it explained in a 5 words.
P.s. For the record, my politically incorrect sexual fantasy was fucking a teacher while still in Year 9.
this is really difficult Liam, sorry, but you see i dont 'fantasise' about my freinds (because I know how horrible it feels when you find out that someone you thought you were freinds with actually fancied you and was jacking off to the thought of you....for quite a long time.....in fact i even shared a house with him.......this basically acts as aversion therapy and so i can't really have fantasies about my female freinds no matter if I really fancy them....it just brings back horrible memories and kills anything.....
Now. If you had to wipe out a particular nationality, which one would you pick?
i wouldnt really want to pick on a nationality......more a type of attitude, cant i just round em all up from all nationalities?
inadvertantly........apparently (when he confronted me with it) i once leapt on his back coming out of the pub pissed and said I love you man and kissed the top of his bonce...........apparently my penchant for not being particularly macho in my demaenor (not closing in for the kill on all drunken girls that fell under my charm, plus being totally nonchalent towards the fact that some men were gay) also gave him 'hope'
when you end up having to sleep in cars and in others houses then you do sometimes end up sleeping in proximity.....id always assumed it was entirely accidental when i occassionally would wake up with him 'uncomfortably close' or with part of his face resting on mine.......i would then try to serupticiously, without waking him, remove his hand/face, etc.......i never figured that when we had gone off to places that he had engineered anything, but on reflection perhaps he had........but despite that it wasnt the uncalled for attention that was worst, (although it was awful when you realised that some of it was deliberate) what was worst, was that i thought we were really close mates and that when he came out about it he was almost angry at me for not reciprocating cos he thought i was stringing him along, as if to him we were not close mates, i dunno, anyway i was well fucked off.....specially when it was accompanied by his saying that he had thought about killing himself (I was fucked off cos my girlfreind and my mum had said similar things (all within the space of a year)) what was especially callous of these twonks was that i had had two freinds Actually kill themselves (nowt to do with me) within the 4 previous years.
So that is probably why i have to find my fantasy in my own way, and it tends to not actually be politically incorrect cos i chose how i want to feel about myself, I havnt looked at a porn mag since i dont know when (20 years?) and yet i am not like robbie williams (sex drive of a 100 year old)
I do like buzzing off my tits (as Dainton off dirty sanchez puts it) and although i would not put great metal hooks though my back to get suspended by, i did go though a phase last year of deciding to embrace pain as an experiance rather than fearful of it.....but now i've got over a bit of that fear of pain, and, for it to become habitual would be for it to become boring and a fetish and a negative perversion.....so now I am open to ideas
I think most things that people embrace as self-consciously perverse are quite boring...pedestrian interests wrapped up in twinkle and hung up by their appendage like a nervous dry-cured ham. My sexual appetite consists of the usual portfolio of senses....the taste of moisture, the warmth of a crease, the smell of moistened passages...the slurp of vaginal digestion...and, occasionally, these are paired with the uninvited addition of a taboo.....but I think it's best that these particular additions remain classified and constantly surprise the spluttering appendage.
im afraid my dry prose manages to make anything sound unsexy, you on the other hand...
Don't be fooled. It's always the ones who are shittest at sex that provide the most convincing account....
it aint even just sexual, it would do peoples perception and empathy a whole lot of good too, it would probably help the worlds problems a lot
its that come the full moon....everyone, i mean everyone, changes, sex, so they've just got that half chromosome pair different
its just that that isnt unpc, cos it works for everyone, so its cool
dicko flings himself on me ;D
but walks is very beautiful, with the lovliest hair
what's your perfect Sunday?
I waste my time by going to work, my son wastes his time going to school.....when waiting for something that means nothing to me, to happen, at work, i divert my mind from the awful reality with this
....it demands ones focal attention.....and its not just YOUR facial hair.....im sorry, i shouldnt be so shallow.....................................................................................I like that nick and barrycreakyknees are now freinds
I am going to have my question now. What is your favorite breed of dog?
for looks and size
border collie for everything else
boxers do have a lovely temprament though
:( i feel bad now though
Or was that just some hippy tale you made up to entertain me?
Sorry. You did say ANYTHING.
i was going to try a glassfull, but rather than neck it i tried it first.......its weird, like, most things you expect arnt going to be actually as bad as you think.......and in this case i thought it was just the subject of jokes cos of it being a bit taboo and being a bit dirty, and that the actualitee would not be anywhere near as bad...........but it was far far worse, easily the most unpleasent taste i can think of.......I cannot imagine how pigfoot managed to drink a whole pint of someone elses
but why would they want to try to find their dad going on and on and on, when they can get that in real life.....and anyway, on the whole i dont think there is anything too terrible that i say on here
(waves red rag frantically at bull)
....that is why i am wiping it, however it must be nice to be you to find such daily unexpected pleasures.
I am not into 'poo' at all, I DO enjoy breaking needless taboos as I see them.......however 'poo' is NOT a needless taboo, it is a sensible one, because it is dirty (in the sense of being dangerously unhygenic)........i try to steer clear of 'the coal hole' (or other peoples)
I am not 'expianced' in any variation of ****, and am quite happy with that.
I am not convinced by this sort of arguement
for i am a vegetarian....to me there is no choice they are all non vegetarian (black olives, often coloured with squid ink?)...if they are vegetarian, then the olive ice cream, easy, two bowls of that please
my question is normally about allocating colours to days of the week.
go for that if you want, but my actual question is (if it's not too personal to ask): what's the best thing about being a dad?
(also, perhaps more predictably: pls kick off an an 'apocalypse scenarios and relevant survival strategies' thread)
sorry i only do those in that style when motivated to, im sorry (to others) I know they are depressing, but they are sort of a venting for the pressure of me feeling scared and stuff and feeling that when you have so much in your head you have to let it out somewhere, you cant keep it bottled up.....
Can you tell me?