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I have woken up in varioud locations including - heathrow airport, Hayes bypass and Gants Hill!
Share your tales!
Ever fallen asleep?
Asleep on a night bus
Ever fallen asleep, on a night bus you shouldn't have fallen asleep on?
or some inprovised lyrics?
is to live somewhere lots of night busses terminate. When I lived in wood green I used to fall asleep on the bus all the time, but it didn't really matter, I'd just wake up a short walk from my house.
FUCK YOU I AIN'T MOVIN' TO PENGE EAST
Is that his name? I can't rightly remember.
I live in Wood Green now. I fell asleep on the bus last night. Woke up at the terminus with the driver shouting "OH! OH! OH!" at me. I don't think English was his first language.
My old bus route used to terminate outside the flat so I smugly used to drift off on it. One year the council extended the route and it ended up terminating in Twickenham, 15 miles away from my house. That was nice.
One time I was on the night bus home and there was this guy I vaguely know on it and he fell asleep. I kind of knew who he was via mutual friends, but didn’t think I knew him well enough to wake him up. Even when I got off at the third last stop and knew he should’ve got off the bus 20-something minutes before. Whoops.
I saw the same guy not that long ago standing outside a pub on his own. He was smoking, then burped, vomited all over himself, finished his cigarette and then walked down the road. Crazy.
I'm in Sheffield, Tim.
Sheffield? How did you end up there?
I must have fallen asleep on the Tube.
But the Tube doesn't go to Sheffield.
Yeah, I must have changed at Kings Cross.
can't beat chris brown's nightbus to romford story though
On train from Cambridge to Gt Chesterford, that's 3 stops and about 15 mins - I woke up on the way back from Liverpool St, a return trip of about an hour and half... This was the night some pub had decided to do 50p a pint of Stella night - it closed at 9.30 and had to stay shut for two days while they cleaned the blood off the walls.
Once I missed the last train home from London to Cambridge so thought I'd get the train to Huntingdon and get a taxi, I was woken up by the train guard in Peterborough at about 3am telling me I was lucky this train had been diverted or I'd be in Edinburgh.
On another occasion I had been at work, all kind of smartly dressed etc.. and got pissed after work. I missed the last train back to Cambridge (sense a theme). I didn't want to sleep on the floor around Kings Cross, so climbed onto the station roof as I thought that would be safer (only about two floors up!). At about 4am I got hungry so climbed down and went to a 24 hour shop and the only substantial thing I could afford was a peppered mackerel fillet. Whilst sitting and eating this delicious morsel (out of the wrapper, lolly style) some people asked me for directions, which I duly gave and they tossed me a quid. I was in my work clothes ffs...
There's probably more, but I don't remember on account of being drunk
Night bus to Acton, woke up wherever the hell that terminates, had been sleeping on the seat and had completely dead legs so when I tried to stand my legs just folded under me, because I was stone cold sober this time I remember all the pitying stares of the other passengers who thought I was completely paralytic :(
Your third story is BRILLIANT.
only he fell off a wall somewhere and broke his arm.
On the plus side, he got a hospital bed for the night.
if i ever become homeless i'm going to seriously (but not permanently) harm myself in some way.
and i woke up in liverpool street, where i needed to change cos i lived in bethnal green anyway. and now i live in wood green so i can fall asleep for a while, not that it's possible on an N29 without getting all kinds of criminal activity done to me.
i hate that bus
The Oxford Tube stops at Hillingdon.
Runs 24 hours
Got me pretty much home from Central London in the middle of the night in about 25 minutes (it bombs it down the motorway) for £3.40
If you fall asleep you wake up in Oxford. THREE TIMES. One time the driver tried to kick me off at some stop that was just a bus stop on a dual carriage way. I had no money and after some pleading he let me off at the Park and Ride.
Before I discovered that I had to get the N207 the entire length of its route, approx 2 hours, and then walk 45 minutes at the end. I never fell asleep on there because if you did you would die
I looked it up on Google maps and it's properly in the arse end of nowhere. I've no idea what purpose it serves.
All I could see was pitched darkness with a single light illuminating the bus stop on the other side with cars shooting along at 80MPH, i.e my own death
it always baffled me when people got off there. It really is just nowhere near anything.
I'm sure I've told the story before wherein I got on a nightbus on Caledonian Road going south, and literally next thing I knew I woke up on Caledonian Road going north.
Another time I woke up at Richmond and Kilburn, on the same night. I did not live in either of those places.
FUCK YOU, CALEDONIAN AND BARNSBURY
FUCY YOU, CALEDONIAN AND BARNSBURY
I was trying to get back to Gloucester Road. Fell asleep, woke up in Richmond, waited ages for a bus going north and promptly fell asleep once I got on it. Woke up in Kilburn, waited ages for a bus again, and eventually got home at about 6am.
I'm really good at sleeping.
but I lived in Kingston so it was worry free bus napping. Perfect.
A chap fell asleep on the nightbus. Woke up at Heathrow Airport. Thought 'fuck it' and checked into the Hilton.
A friend of mine at uni fell asleep on his train home. We were in Leeds. He woke up at Manchester Airport. He waited there until the first train back the next morning and came straight back into uni in the same clothes.
Because it was at 9am and I'd just gotten out of hospital having broken my nose
to my flat in Mile End, after going straight to the pub after work at about 3 on a weekday. I passed out, woke up in Romford, stayed on it, woke up in Oxford Street again. Got chucked off that one, got another N25 and this time was woken up in Harold bloody Hill. Managed to stay awake on this one. It was now 5am and getting light and I had to leave for work at 630. But it was OK as I had pretty much a full night's sleep.
the worst example had nothing to do with buses. Once upon a time I (Drunkenly) boarded the last train out of Waterloo in an attempt to get to Woking. Woke up many hours later in Exeter, Devon. Great days.
and woke up on a tram in East Croydon. Still don't know the series of events that led me there.
Once, when travelling back from Central London to Tottenham (N259 I think), I came to in Waltham Cross with the police waking me to ask what happened to my trousers.
the day i handed in my dissertation i hadn't been to sleep the night before, so i got to the pub at about 5pm having been awake since midday the day before. i got a bit drunk and then was really tired, could barely stand up. however when i went to leave the cold air combined with having a rolly woke me up again and i felt fine. so i kept drinking. only a few times have i lost my memory when drunk, but this night was one of them. i woke up and i was in a bus shelter in the middle of fucking nowhere, but i didn't recognise where i was, the last thing i could recall was leaving a club near angel. i stumbled around looking at the bus maps and it turned out i was in tottenham. luckily for me there was a bus to holloway where i lived. i think i asked the bus driver if he was going to holloway, fell asleep, and asked again. got home, slept like a baby.
the next day i had to do a concert so i put on some smart clothes and then grabbed my jeans from the night before to get my keys, wallet etc. amazingly, i hadn't lost anything. but i had somehow aquired about 50 chipforks in my back pocket. to this day i have no idea if i bought chips and decided i needed lots of free forks or if i just stumbled into a kebab place, nicked them, and ran away again.
Trains, too. One really creepy time, a load of mates and I had a few pre-drinks and then hopped on a train to another friend's birthday. None of us were pissed and it wasn't that late, yet he somehow ALL fell asleep at the same time and woke up in Luton. I hadn't realised the train even went that far. That was a bleak night.
Fell asleep on the N91, ended up in Tottenham. Eventually managed to get back on one the right way (I was waaaay pissed). Then fell asleep again and missed my destination. Then eventually got the N20, fell asleep and missed my flat and then had to get a bus back. Spent about 4 hours travelling arund North London asleep.
... worst was when I drunkenly fell asleep on the bus to my flat in Didsbury, only to wake up at Manchester Airport - apparently the driver had already been there and then back to town with me asleep upstairs, but didn't fancy waking me up the first time :(
It annoys me when people do as well. But then again, many occasions where people get so drunk they lose sense of self-control annoy me so... it's just one on a long list really.
My girlfriend does this all the time. And she falls asleep at bus stops as well. It's alright when I'm with her but one day she's gonna get herself into trouble.
Can't stand it. "Hey look I fell asleep and made myself well vulnerable but it doesn't matter because I was WELLDRUNK lolz". Doesn't wash with me...
Just that the cheap parts of London are now f'cking miles from anywhere and, even at night, our crippled transport system takes forever.
I mean people fall asleep on short tube journeys during the middle of the day for instance...
But, still, I just don't understand why (if knowing you had a long journey home) you would get yourself so nailed that you could potentially end up falling asleep and ending up in the middle of nowhere... or getting into trouble on the way home as a result. Maybe I'm just a touch too sensible...
If I know I've got a hectic bus ride ahead later in the evening, I wanna get so drunk that I don't remember it.
I just don’t want to fall asleep and wake up in pissing Ilford on the way home... or get bumraped just outside of Northumberland Park. For instance.
...when I said 'for instance' I meant 'again'.
Pretty much all of my leisure time is dedicated to the art of serious, serious drinking. I probably sound like a bit of a clunge in this thread mind... just don't understand why a lot of people get so drunk they lose a bit of control! I'm far happier in the preceding stages (takes a while to master it mind).
He had to ask a stranger where they were flying to.
True story. (he was going to Glasgow as there's family there).
never happened to me thankfully, but this happened to someone I worked with: he lived in Hornchurch, so the end of the District line pretty much. They were out in Camden Town for the night, and he got on a southbound Northern line train, intending to change. He woke up in Morden. He crossed over and got onto a northbound train, again intending to change. He then woke up in High Barnet, and there were no more southbound trains. He had to take a taxi home.
...I can understand a bit more if it's 3 in the morning but this dude would've been travelling at around pub closing time! How on earth do you get that drunk by that time?!
Not since I can remember anyway.
I mean we're talking since I became an established hardcore drinker of course - since the age of about 20 I'd say...
You put some booze in me, settle me down on my own on some slowly rocking public transport and I've been lulled into dreamland within 20 minutes whether I want to be or not.
But there is a difference between being in a gentle slumber and sporadically waking up on a bus home (booze or no booze), and being so pissed you black out and don’t wake up for bloody hours...
with three lads twice your size, don't eat, and try and keep up.
Bless you. You were rocking from about 6.30.
I assumed it was after work fare, for some reason.
But either way, I'll have some food and drink at my own pace. Don't understand this whole "keeping up" and "eating's cheating" lark.
just not really thinking in that particular case (especially with the food and the fact it had been a pretty warm day).
After his Christmas party one year, he got a train home quite late, but he fell asleep and woke up in Maidenhead. Luckily there was still ONE LAST TRAIN from Maidenhead to Reading, so he waited for that. BUT. He fell asleep again and woke up just as the last train was pulling away from the platform. He had to get a taxi.
i had to get a taxi
now i live in Reading, so i wouldn't need to get a taxi.
these two things seem to have very little significance until you factor in the fact that it was the day before i moved to Reading that i fell asleep on the train, moreover it had never even happened before. spooky eh!?!??!
Poozing if you will, anyway, i was concerned that i wouldn't be able to stop pooing ontime to get off the train. that worried me a bit.
i woke them up to see if they wanted to get off. they got off.
i realised when someone tapped me on the shoulder and said i'#d just dropped the other glove as i got off the train. i ran back to the train and banged on the window as it pulloed away Maidenheadwards. some kind soul managed to very skillfully drop my glove through the window. that was probably my favourite person.
they have a Wilkinsons in Basingstoke. it's opposite a Sainsbury's
i once travelled from Exeter to Reading for £9. that was in 2008.
Mind you, I'm probably the only person that's ever asked for that ticket.
i'd like to do that journey. i like train journeys. train journeys and boozing.
and if you're going into Wales, there's a load of cheap pubs and the sea at the far end.
my friend once fell asleep on a train on platform 1 at liverpool st. station. he woke up a few hours later on platfrom 2.
from the bus station in Glasgow. I was still a bit fucked so I lay across the back seat upstairs and fell asleep. I woke up an hour and a half later just as the bus was re-entering the bus station, with the top deck now full of people.
It was shameful.
it takes about 2 hours+ and terminiates about 4 miles from my house. I'll never get on that bus again.
that's a night bus that serves somewhere else 4 miles away from your house.
there are no other things that go to my home past 1am. This was at 3am. I got to Romford at 5:30am. I got a cab home and was in bed by 6:30am.....I got up for work at 7:30am.
Most recently we woke up in Stockport at the end of the line. Groggily asked the driver if he was going back and he told us he could go as close as Davyhulme but that'd be it. Then took us all the way back on the normal route, picking up more passengers on the way.
I once woke up in Leigh, miles away from where I wanted to be, with no money. Scaled a 10ft wall and walked along what I thought was a canal that might've lead me home before giving up and jumping in a passing cab.
once, after one of my first night outs with work (at the tender age of 17) i was forcibly asked to go into a strippers. i didn't want to go in, so i stumbled to the bus stop and got on the first one that came. this is a bad idea because it's a bus stop that serves most of the southside of glasgow, so i got on a number 56 bus, which was the south ibrox and darnley loop. i wake up at the end of the loop and the driver asks me to get off in the middle of govan. had to walk along paisley road west flagging taxis down. :(
another time i got on a 44 going to the west end from my flat in anniesland only to wake up in the middle of Eaglesham, sitting at the bus stop in the town square. the driver had seemingly just lifted my up out of the bus and left me in the bus shelter. :D phoned my mate who lived in eaglesham and he was at the party in the west end i was trying to get to! anyway, i went to his house and slept there, but in his sisters bed rather than his because i got the wrong room. she came back later on and tried to wake me up but i was out cold. she slept on the floor. that was a tense morning after having toast with their parents...
on the way back from visiting my sister in preston. got a cab to my intended destination. the end.
I told the person I was sitting with where I was going. JUST IN CASE. I then fell asleep on them.
I've only been on about 3 night busses. This is is my only 'anecdote'.
You must be into your taxis then.
My only motivation in this world to make more money is to be able to get a taxi home after a BIG NIGHT OUT. I'm too poor for that shit.
It's just a double-decker bed with wheels.
AND MORE NORMAL THAN TAXIS, QUEEN OF RUDDY SHEBA.
But I come out of somewhere and have no idea where I'm going or where I am. If I got a bus I would never get home, ever.
Strange. Sounds like a massive cry for help to me.
Whoever I'm with doesn't really get a say in it.
I get the bus everywhere. I'm too poor to even get a tube these days. Let alone a taxi.
I just want it noted that if I go missing, it's Bamso's fault.
Anyone know how much a cab back from Hayes Bypass is at 4 in the morning?
the worst one was last April when I got woken up by the bus driver in Waltham Cross at about 3am. I'd got on a bus which wasn't even my bus in the West End, intending to change at Kings Cross, and fallen asleep.
Got a £43 taxi home from a taxi driver who was nice and kind and concerned about me, and kept saying 'you do know this isn't even London, right?!' But he was chatting to keep me awake and started telling me how he 'wasn't a racist but...was intending to vote BNP in the election'. I feel I managed to successfully persuade him to vote for someone else instead but he may just have been humouring me.
but a friend of mine climbed up into a open-top double-decker to sleep for the night. swears he has no idea how he could've climbed up in his state.
but it was probably more embarrassing the time i went up to the driver and yelled at him for going the wrong way, only realising the next morning that i'd been wrong
My mobile phone has an alarm on it
Or else somebody will call and I'll tell them to call back in ten minutes
Not the way to get ahead in life.
was at a party in kilburn
returning home to kennington
got some bus south in the general right direction
woke up in EDGEWARE
clearly the guy had just let me continue sleeping at the end of the line, and taken me all the way back up to the other end of the line.
i then got on the tube at edgware. it set off south. i then awoke to find myself in edgware, again .
i waited for the tube to start again. i woke up in golders green. fine. except, i realised i was travelling north . at this point i seem to remember i literally raised my hand and trembling fist to the heavens and yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i then got the tube south, woke up in kennington and had quite the tale to tell
7 in total
My friend did this between Reading and Paddington when he was trying to get to Ealing.
Woke up Paddington first, then Reading, then Paddington, then in the train yard. He said he could hear the rats.
He called national rail enquiries and they pissed themselves laughing and told him to break the glass and get out.
and could get the manchester airport train through the night from manchester.
Got on in Manchester and woke up in York. Got the train from York to Huddersfield woke up at manchester airport. Was morning by then so i tried to get a breakfast at the airport.
did a load of pills, when i left it was about 10 in the morning. Lost my mates got on a bus and couldn't figure out how to pay and he let me on. I got off in the middle of nowhere and went for a wander for hours, I was that much of a state people were crossing the road. Went into a garage and the bloke behind the counter was praying so i went and got a magazine and sat on the floor because he was kneeling down i thought it was ok. Went home and tried to paint my bedroom, woke up and was covered in paint with a ruined carpet
the guy who pick pocketed me must have been pretty good and they were in my jean pockets (both sides) and I was sat by the window.
He got nicked for it though (cctv) so not *that* good.
He woke up in Blackhorse road and we lived in Holloway. He got off the bus to find he had nothing in his pockets, lucky for him the bus terminated not to far from them and half an hour later the same driver took pity on him and drove him back towards central.