Yes, I know DiS is the last place I should really come to for relationship advice, and I don't really post that much any more, but this isn't something I really want to involve my friends in / talk to any IRL people about.
A couple of months ago, I noticed that some money had gone missing from my account, so I cancelled my cards, got replacement ones, etc. Then a week or two ago I got a bank statment, and saw that it had continued happening. I was really upset about the matter, understandably (£1500 had been taken in total). Anyway, turns out my boyfriend had taken the money. He (finally) admitted to it when I told him the police had some CCTV footage and I was going to view it. He'd been doing it over a period of about 2 months, taking £150 or £200 out at a time. His hours at work had been cut, and rather than come clean, he wanted to keep up the image of being successful and getting on with his career, and stole money to perpetuate that. The lies continued until I had him cornered, knew beyond all doubt that it was him, and had spoken to his mother who denied that he'd given the money to her. (His first line of defense was that he'd given it all to her to help with her debts, bills, etc.)
Up until this point, everything in our relationship *seemed* perfect; he was caring, considerate, fun to be around, and we'd often speak of the future & all the things we wanted to do together. As much as he's hurt me and betrayed my trust, I still love him. Love's not conditional, and this doesn't change the way I feel. I'm pretty sure he loves me too, but he obviously has some behavioural and lying issues that need to be addressed. (He is seeking counselling and says he really wants to change this). He seems remorseful, and desperately wants to change.
What I'm having trouble deciding is whether or not I can ever trust him again. Do you think it's likely that he will change? Is it possible that we can move past this as a couple and, obviously with very strict boundaries in place, build up that level of trust again to the point where we can resume a normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Should I give him a second chance?
Have any of you experienced anything similar? If so, what was the outcome of that situation?
Please don't post anything if you're going to be abusive/troll/generally rude. This is a really serious matter for me and I'd like some honest, heartfelt advice, or any tales from someone who's been in a similar situation.