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I'm not sure how I feel about this "milestone". MILLSTONE more like, amirite?
I have some for Greeny though, could you forward them to him?
even though I've never seen it.
why does it INSIST on jumping spaces or other gaps meaning it either wants to select one character too few or one too many, normally depending on which end of the text you start at?
It's been like that for 20 years. Can't they fix it? Is it really too hard to make it actually work in an intelligent way?
He also builds mistakes into his software so we can continue to buy his new and "improved" products.
on a monthly basis?
You know, just wondering.
That would certainly make sense after inebriation levels...
I'm still laughing SO HARD at this. And hope to say it again some time soon.
but Sam and I have a regular reservation at the Ibis on Commercial Street which has taught me many new and wonderful things.
i will have woodland creatures sexually assault your eyes. :(
because ever since I learned what synaesthesia was, I've wanted to have it, to prove how arty I am. But I don't. I don't see stuff as colours at all. But I'll do my best:
Sunday: A woozy liquid gold segueing into a bruise-hued blue, tinging on violet, in the depths of evening despair.
Monday: A yellow starburst of activity as I rush to work towards our Tuesday deadline.
Tuesday: A limpid green which pans out over a day where all is done and I can doss at leisure.
Wednesday: A modicum of orange, nearly terracotta, as the week beings to take on form.
Thursday: Heating up, becoming red for my regular night out with friends.
Friday: Red burning hot to white as I prepare for sleep and the weekend.
Saturday: A white silver haze of joy as I have nothing to do save lie in and read the papers.
That was really hard, and probably not at all accurate.
there are no right or wrong answers. only correlations in the spreadsheet.
one of the first to put sunday first, too, iirc.
I really hope you DO have a spreadsheet.
If you were provided with a van and using only hands as your tools for catching, how many cats do you think you could collect in a day?
*I'm talking about cats you would come across chilling out in the street, not going into peoples houses and gardens, that would be weird.
Maybe three? I think if I spotted them I could do alright at getting them to come to me, but how many cats do you just see wandering the streets?
I hope I'm not working on commission.
I'd really like to know this, please.
PO Box 1
which one would you choose and why?
we know what it is.
The Smoking Man?
to Tony Parsons, Julie Burchill and the NME in my mind. And was this your intention on choosing your username?
And yes it was my original intention, but I was young and foolish in those days (I think I first signed up in 2006/7).
She has no idea who he is but she rates him pretty low, now. The book was utter bilge.
which condiment are you?
(I forgot to stel the hot sauce.You can probably buy it)
Me and Michael spotted it on the way out.
which you can also buy.
This was a perfectly good pisstake dirrected at Meo. Ruined.
This is a recent development, I used to be firmly team strawberry.
what would it be?
Covered in chocolate.
Worst: I don't want to say, but there's a few.
Sexiest: Aw yeah, Darcy.
(I went to the odeon last night and I told my date this little anecdote about you and the childrens popcorn and drinks. He laughed and I laughed.)
I just laugh sympathetically.
Yes, I will start being that outrageous and wasteful, when a) I am earning more, or b) I'm actually trying to impress a girl.
and spend the rest of the film starving and dying of thirst.
Yeah, pls don't get the SNACK. PACK. if you're out on a date.
this is like watching two disabled dogs lick each other.
As in really, REALLY look like him?
IRL, Chintzy is convinced I look like Steve Coogan.
that picture is getting on for six years old :(
And also because you have Partridge mannerisms.
Except one other person I met briefly ages ago.
in order to save your own life, WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
(this is funny because I am implying that it would be you, thnks)
HAHAHHAHA! Oh Chintz, you're such a card!
I'm struggling to come up with a funny answer or a serious answer.
I would shoot myself in the foot, so I could have a Byron-esque limp. Will that do?
you diplomatic shit.
Just because hecalled you sexy. You're so weak.
the best kind oif heckle.
is a mix between oaf and oik.
But not at all surprised.
would you rather be a world renowned author/cultural commentator/reviewer type bloke, but with a largely unsatisfying love life...
or would you rather score big in the love department but have a highly unsatisfying work life that involves writing copy for a mostly unheard of brand of orthopedic footwear targeted at the elderly and infirm
To my shame, I'd probably take the first option right now. I mean, I'd still get to have some unfulfilling sex, right? That's as much as I need.
you'd be with a partner that you completely resented but there would be an average amount of highly depressing yet equally satisfying-at-a-base-level intercourse.
another form of masturbation essentially. you do the job because it needs to be done, there is a split-second in which everything seems like a good idea, but after that a grey depression washes over you until ultimately you despise everyone involved in the squalid act.
i'd pick that and a weekly column in the guardian too.
1) what are you reading at the moment?
2) if you were to recommend a book to anyone what would it be?
At a friend's recommendation I've just started Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton, but it's very wintry and I'm not sure I can be bothered. So I'm actually finishing Summer Blonde by Adrian Tomine. And I'm 3/4s of the way through Great Expectations with no sign in site, but I've told the girl I'm seeing I like Dickens so should probably rectify that. The last book I finished was Hella Nation, a collection of Evan Davis's articles, which was very good.
To recommend, well, I'd like more people to read Ada by Nabokov as it's my favourite book and in my view the greatest novel ever written, but the only people I know who've read it are my dissertation supervisor (and he didn't like it) and two friends who I forced too. But I accept it's not exactly an easy read, so I'd probably tell people to read Lolita first, because it's amazing and pretty much perfect.
Or How to be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson.
and there was a massive black dog blocking the way, hackles raised, teeth bared. I was terrified. I had to back away and walk another route. Took me ages.
Either that, or the last time I tried to kiss a girl.
The girl bit. Not the dog bit.
and I want a properly researched and considered reply please.
Someone was talking about if you could get the scent of moss to create a perfume, and someone said you could, but you would need to collect an awful lot of moss, and I said: BEST NOT ASK KEITH RICHARDS TO HELP OUT THEN, and no one gave a fucking shit, despite the fact that is the best fucking joke I have ever made, or will ever make.
6.3/10 stuff, at least.
That's a 7.6 any day of the week
It's pretty clever.
It's my kind of joke.
Which is apparently something you'd find on a funky pigeon card.
It's half lion half tiger. So if you could have a hybrid animal made of any two animals to keep as a pet, what would the two animals be?
\/ Good answer btw.
They are huge, with pale stripes, but unfortunately they don't tend to live very long.
I would have a cross between an otter and a dog. Utility and cuteness would be a winning combination.
and doesn't live very long?
she's huge and could rip your face off and eat you.