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I woke up this morning to find I was cuddling a cuddly toy. What's the most macho thing you've done recently?
Which i killed
Strangled it with my chest hair.
Punched it to death.
Is there anything that can't be accomplished with maca root?
Then punched a bear in the face. He tried to steal my Yorkie you see.
just not so good for him.
Thanks for coming last night by the way.
just to watch him cry.
Or is it alan keys? I don;t know, but yes, them things.
And then put them back together.
But I know what one is and how to use one.
I used a whle set of them to build my missus' new bike.
i might have to go and read the sadpunk bloke test now.
*giggles and runs away*
I had to put my shoes on to deal with it.
What did you do to the cat?!
Was it the ginger one? She follows me.
No, it was a manky scrawny tortoiseshell. Cheeky motherfucking housebreaking motherfucker.
Interesting fact about ginger cats...
About 15% of ginger cats are female, as I remember.
However, all tortoiseshells are female, IIRC.
but they are always infertile if they are male, because they have an extra X chromosome.
so it seemed pointless to correct it.
Torties are mum's favourite. Ginger cats are mine.
SHE WAS IN OUR HOUSE LAST WEEK. Cheeky motherfucking housebreaking motherfucker that I did NOT let in.
(PS all cats are female. xx)
Nice of you to steal their cat for the few hours a week you can be bothered to look after it.
MANLY MANLY MAN.
Here's the duck: https://s-hphotos-snc6.fbcdn.net/192384_10150209374931672_545921671_8274335_6060818_o.jpg
ON WEDNESDAY I GO SHOPPIN' AND HAVE BUTTERED SCONES FOR TEA
which you ascended to using a dogdy step ladder.
The last time I got a high five it was someone congratulating me for making an apposite Shakespeare reference in relation to my own love life.
During a 50/50 I got kicked in the face. I was bleeding (quite heavily) from my eyebrow but did I run to the toilets crying like a little girl to stop the bleeding?
Well, yes, initially. But I returned a few minutes later to carry on playing - without a plaster!
It's 'time you last felt like a man' NOT 'time you last dressed like a carnie'
Lest I use the enhanced grip my gym mitts give me to pick you up and throw you out.
I'm not a machine, Lucienette.
this thread is all kinds of fucked up, btw
Hung out the back of it
But then I apologised profusely negating my manliness.
while excluding some women from the boardroom
that's shooting lightning into a flaming skull full of snakes. Not really, I got a Care Bear heart on my belly.
while farting, because it makes you go faster
Are pistol squats manly? Those too.
Oh right, we're covering up our beta tendencies with humour. Carry on.
WITH NO OVEN GLOVES
got 1st-3rd degree burns and scards on my hand. then I bought some oven gloves in a charity shop and washed them at 90 degrees as I do with everything I buy second hand.
Whilst having a sex with a lady, on a horse, riding slowly into the sunset.
as it failed to comply with my request in an adequately timeous fashion.
and sheepishly bought it to them, trying to avoid any eye contact because they were quite intimidating and were probably laughing at my curly hair.
This website is sick.
I don't even like that movie. :(
Fuck you, dog haterz!
but on the other side, I love flowers, poetry, romance, dancing, glitter/shiny things, I'm complex
Poetry/romance/dancing aren't necessarily unmanly, as I understand it.
But you're on your own with the glitter I'm afraid.
What about Bob Flowerdew(the tv gardener)....he likes flowers and has flower in his name, and has a blonde ponytail and is gently spoken (not as wimpy as Professor NiceyNice(Brian Cox))
You're as good an authority on this as any. The most deadly thing I own is a hurley. Wooden axes used for sports are manly, right?
so yes hurleys are manly....hockey sticks not manly
Have you ever played it? You're like the first Englisher I've spoken to who's actually heard of it, so...
Played it a lot as a kid. Got dents all over my shins and one in my forehead from the stupid metal bits people stick on them.
My proudest moment was blocking a particularly large fellows shot at the goal. With my chest. It was bruised for a week. Totally worth it.
Also can't help but picture you as a slightly older version of Hiro Protagonist now
Fucking rough stuff.
Shinty is rough as all fuck, and I've only ever seen footage of games where they're playing in 90 degree pishing rain or sleet.
Rugby is nothing compared to Shinty.
is it one of those ones bought out the back of warhammer magazine?
Its lovely and i've had it for 36 years. I used to be very handy with it.
It is from central asia from C19th. It is very strong.
I now have images of you wandering around Northern England as, an 80's Ronin, or a ninja Littlest Hobo.
Righting wrongs, fighting the good fight, ending the reign of tory mps, freeing oppressed miners, chasing off bailiffs...
but i think the only time that i have wandered/roamed with my sword on my back was in cornwall, around the north coast footpaths, sleeping on the cliffs etc....that DID feel very romantic and swashbuckling, but then again the cornish cliffs and countryside make me feel like I was in another world, away from authority.
I actually took a decision to totally disarm myself on my northern moor sojourns, cos i am older and more worried about consequences
actually i was worried about the police. Up tnorth, on tmoors the only thing that would disturb me at night was the police.....once in person close up, questioning me what i was doing sleeping there (to which I answered 'Im sleeping up here cos its pretty' they seemed a bit unsure) and fairly frequently by the helicopter/s that seemed to sometimes go up and down the valleys and then sometimes over the moors looking for ?
it is real, it has tasted flesh and blood (not by my hand)
of course i was in my head, but there you go. its great just making up your mind as to what to do, where to go, just on the whim of the moment
is that manly? before anyone starts going "nah rapey LOL" it had it's context, the other party was fine and quite enjoyed it.
Also I fed a (different) girl beer whilst she pretended to fellate the bottle and I was laughing like a sicko.
None of these make me sound manly do they? They make me sound like 13monsters :p
It was dying because I forgot to care for it.
and I just treated the balcony to get rid of some moss. This afternoon I'm going to re-seal the shower in the bathroom. MAN.
In the same air of gruff silence, I opened it with a stiff jerk, gave it back, and went back to my spreadsheet.
you know, taking the back off things fiddling with wires, that sort of shit. no biggie.
not a problem ma'am
brick dust and shit. You ok cleaning that up? Good girl.
tip....if drilling into the wall, sellotape an envelope beneath the drill site, prize the envelope open slightly, drill.....the nasty pink bricky stuff will mostly go into the envelope......women are far more impressed by this sort of thing ;D
I got a mini shock when my knuckle glanced a live wire having forgot to isolate. Just a little *zap* - 'oh right better turn that off'. That's never happened before. I've given myself the full 240v before twice. That was horrible.
But... you know... I took it.
It's that bit where you're putting all your weight on the drill and it just doesn't seem to be doing anything and you're only about 2mm from being able to fit the rawl plug in...
I like to tape an old envelope under the drill hole to catch all that filthy brick dust.
Do I LOOK LIKE I'M MADE OF ENVELOPES?
you look like a shell of a man, a man drained/bereft of envelopes, a mere husk of a man.....hardly a man at all
You're discussing DIY with Theo.
still hasn't convinced me you know how to hold a power tool
I mean it's for the ladies really but... you know...
Already got one
February's black and white one of you shirtless and cradling a baby didn't seem to have much to do with DIY
You can clearly see I'm in my workshop. Like 'oh I'm so busy doing diy but still got time to pick a baby up'
especially the one doing the burlesque stuff
2010's nautical theme shifted big units - why mess with a winning formula?
I got when the gf moved in and realised I lifted the toilet seat to pee as standard practice and not just when I was at hers.
it doesn't talk like a man
it doesn't smell like a man
it doesn't taste like a man
I need to drink faster. Noted!