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Driven whilst (slightly) drunk
Stolen some football stickers
Anybody as badass as me?
Speeding, drug taking, a little light treason.
an empty Buckfast bottle at a moving police car. It was unintentional.
stole a few cars
broke into someones house
a bit of gbh here and there
you know, the usual.
a copper just shouted at me out of the window. It was near The Venue
In front of an armed guard.
It wasn't a political statement she was twatted.
the local police still call me BT, despite the fact I was 17 at the time and didn't know if it was new york or new year.
the police saw him do it and made him go back the next day to apologise and clean it up. He took a bunch of flowers and it was a massive guy who owned the place.
however, after having done so, i felt SO guilty about (a) having stolen something and (b) having stolen PORN of all things that the following evening I put an envelope through the newsagents' door containing the cost of the porn and a note apologising for my misdemeanour, signed "anon".
I was so embarrassed about the whole episode that I never once returned to the newsagents.
speeding / sundry other motoring offences
cycling whilst drunk / other various cycling infringements
weeing in public
one incident of assault
Pissed in public several times
Had Illegal Cable for 10 years
Stole a packet of sweets
Stole a packet of football stickers
Stole a packet of Pokemon Cards
Kicked a window out in a blind rage and ran off
Had a Gig within a house with way too many people in it, breaking several noise laws, distributed drugs
House party broke several Loitering, Noise and I'm sure other laws, distributed drugs
Drunk & Disorderly
I'm a pretty awful person as it so happens
Distributed copies of cd's/DVDs/Games
Bought Pirated games/videos/dvds/cds
Apparently in the UK you can only pee next to a horse and cart
into an exhibition of works by Lucas Cranach the Elder the other day.
Who says rock'n'roll is dead, eh?
in my case: none
I was working in the finance sector at the time, clean cut. They sent me to a hard prison, souless place and the warden was a real asshole. I got in his goodbooks cos I had a head for figures, and he needed a creative accountant, so inside was easy for a while. I made some good friends, one in particular and eventually I managed to escape. Got into a bit of fishing and travelling with my mate from prison ( he was released, eventually). For a while I thought I was gay, because we spent so much time together and it was quite intense when we were together. His boating skills weren't up to scratch though, so I cut him loose, we don't speak anymore. Last I heard we was turning tricks in San Diego.
sUCH a witty anecdote, you are a king amongst men, Enderlin
I employed my network of diplomats and recruits to assassinate dozens of critics around the world. Amnesty International listed at least 25 assassinations between 1980 and 1987.
My agents were active in the United Kingdom, where many Libyans had sought asylum. After Libyan diplomats shot at ten anti-me protesters and killed Yvonne Fletcher, a British policewoman, the United Kingdom broke off relations with my regime.
In 1980, a Libyan agent attempted to assassinate dissident Faisal Zagallai, a doctoral student at the University of Colorado, Boulder. The bullets partially blinded Zagallai. A defector was kidnapped and executed in 1990 just before he was about to receive U.S. citizenship.
I asserted in June 1984 that killings could be carried out even when the dissidents were on pilgrimage in the holy city of Mecca. In August 1984, one Libyan plot was thwarted in Mecca.
As of 2004, Libya still provided bounties on critics, including 1 million dollars for Ashur Shamis, a Libyan-British journalist.
SOME FUCKING FOOTBALL STICKERS!
shoplifting (BY ACCIDENT)
stolen from hmv
stolen wine from employees
that's probably it
i used to steal from tescos a lot as well
- HAIR GEL
Is that a crime?
I'm just awaiting confirmation that this is definitely a crime before punching in the final nine.
and accused of badger baiting.
thought crimes are more plentiful
so yeah not sayin.
If you were careful there shouldn't be any evidence.
Everything else I *didn't do*
I once threw a cheese slice onto the roof of a passing police van.
As the Long Blondes once said; once and never again.
BRITAINS MOST WANTED...i dont do any of those any more tho.
my car had some less criminal things wrong with it, which were more interesting.
then realised it would involve living in aberdeen or texas. and having a ginger beard. i gave it back.
yeah yeah i know your fucking game
one second its all playful and bants and REMEMBER THOSE PEOPLE I NEARLY KILLED!! HO HO HO and then half the DiS userbase *mysteriously* ends up in the slammer. eat my shit
You're under arrest.
Car Theft and Joyriding
You must have been an annoying little turd in your youth.
If you know the name of the king or queen about to be murdered - press 5.
and ringing people to tell them they owed 'us' money.
'Joyriding' - a person i was sort of friends with dropped their car keys and we moved their car from the college car park to somewhere down the road.
stealing pick n mix when i was about 11
I know I have.
Probably served alcohol to minors, drunks.
I lied in court once. I bet that's the most serious one I've done. It was a white lie, but a lie is a lie. I told a police officer taking my statement that I said "I'm scared" when I said no such thing. Then I confirmed in court that that was what I said.
I was scared, but I never said so.
drinks, little soaps, a newspaper.
Drunk and disorderly (once involving what people probably saw as minor assault).
Thrown light bulbs from a first class compartment in one of those old Southwest trains out the window.
Had illegal porn on my laptop (it was passed round my class and I didn't know what it was until I had it).
Thrown books out the window at school. More counts of vandalism at school.
If so then that on numerous occasions.
My parents used to ban us from eating sweets so I'd come up with more and more ingenious ways of getting them.
By the time I was 9 my evening would often look like this:
-Lower a carrier bag weighted with a brick from some string out of my bedroom window into the back garden.
-volunteer to go to the (very nearby) supermarket for my parents to buy milk bread etc.
-go out with the hideous old people's shopping bag they gave me and the money.
-at the supermarket put A FUCKTON of sweets in the bottom of the shopping bag (there was a layer of carrrier bags at the bottom which I slid them under). Then put milk etc on top.
-At the till get out and pay for the milk an bread with the money my parents gave me. It looked like the bag only had carrier bags in it after I'd removed the legit items and I never once got challenged.
-Walk back to my house. Go round to the back garden. Replace stone with sweets in my secret carrier bag.
-Go in the front door. Give my parents the exact change and receipt for the shopping and the shopping bag. Good boy.
-Go up to my room. Haul on the string and pull up a diabetes-inducing amount of confectionary.
When I was 9 Professor Moriarty didn't have shit on me.
i used to regularly steal them.
tbh though, i didn't really care. a lot of them would be home-made as well CDRs with inkjet printed artwork, yet the stall-holders would charge £15 for a single, £20 for a double CD, so, you know, fuck them.
this one time, I stole a double CD of Radiohead's 2001 South Park show, and then went back twenty minutes later and asked if he had it. he then told me he had, but some little bastard must've stolen it.
I flinched and said "a bit of everything really".