I got beat. I got beat bad.
It was a simultaneous game against Nigel Short, considered by some to be Britain's greatest ever player, a man who beat Karpov in an era-defining game and only missed out on the World Championship by being beat by Kasparov - arguably the greatest player ever.
He kicked my ass, but I wasn't the first out (someone, a serious club player, crumbled in eight moves - loser). I was terrified that because I have zero strategy or knowledge of openings, I'd be playing hilariously bad moves, but maybe that worked to my advantage in surprising him. You can't predict the work of a complete idiot.
I lost a bishop early and got put into check, before a slightly surprising queen exchange. Things got brutal, with us both sacrificing pieces, but like Monty Python's Black Knight I lumbered on. Gradually though, he forced my king into the open, before beautiful play from his rooks forced me into checkmate.
But hey, I did the equivalent of play 18 holes with Tiger Woods. And I took a Grandmasters's queen. Even if he did take mine first...
tl;dr / MASSIVELY BORING.