so I saw my parents this weekend.
my dad is a complete cock, a totally joyless man, stubborn, unwilling to learn, puts up constant barriers to things, unengaging and unencouraging.
I literally can't remember the last time he said that something I did was any good and whilst he doesn't put people down, there's a constant passive aggressiveness to his mannerisms.
I've pretty much taught myself everything that should be handed down in a father to son type way ( like learning to shave, or the birds and bees, kinda life stuff) due to his unwillingness to engage with his children's lives. I don't think he knows what I do for a job really.
I'm kind of used to all this but my girlfriend finds it all pretty damn upsetting when we see my folks ( she has an autoimmune chronic fatigue type illness. He has asked her about this exactly once in about three years.), and it stresses me the hell out.
I think that it's totally affected how i've turned out. I'm alright but have a rather deep lack of, not confidence really, but faith in my own abilities. I pretty much need constant validation in any creative decisions I make ( which is kinda what I spend 80% of my free time doing). It's a constant struggle for me to believe that I can achieve things that aren't mediocre.
It's only been over the last couple of years that i've come out of my shell in that respect, and i'm genuinely angry that I've wasted years by dithering and doubting which ( i believe ) could have been avoiding by a few kind remarks here and there. just a .'well done son'. or a .'that's really good'. once or twice a year would be nice.
so... what are your parents like?
how much do you think they have effected how you have turned out?
insert off-hand throwaway remark
something about tool academy
Bamnam wades in