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'Woo! You're going on maternity leave!' cards?
tell that it really does get easier after the first six weeks. She might not think you're being sincere but it's the truth.
maybe something along the lines of:
Enjoy your time off, try not to get too stressed and all the best for when the big day comes
Something like that maybe.
'All the best' and 'Good luck!' just seem horribly trite.
as it's a kind, reassuring message of support from someone in a position to sympathise. If you got that from a hair-straightening Fenland bog-monster maniac you'd probably find it creepy. Hypothetically.
I've got you a present.
maybe just write Milky Milky and draw a crude picture of a pair of bangers
but i wouldnt put it past him.
got a few reduncacies coming up, i'll let you know what he puts on those cards.
have you ever seen graffiti of a cock that doesn't also feature balls?
then spend the next few lines backtracking and trying to appear non-chauvinistic
then tippex it out and write "all the best"
Don't sign, obviously.
PS, we're not exclusive yet so is the bambino mine?
REMEMBER TO BREATHE
when she went on maternity leave.
have you considered giving her the Alien Quadrilogy as maternity leave present?
Then draw a picture of what it'll look like when it comes out.
NSFW I guess.
He must never know our secret.
Love Warnybum xxx".
That goes down well.
since you had it in the muff
you're leaving work, you're up the duff
enjoy your time off, spend it well
and prepare for the upcoming living hell
all the best, the warn