Michael Dawson makes a captain's decision and decides Spurs can do without the hassle of the FA cup this year by setting up Fulham's first two goals and getting a red. Wonderful stuff. Dembele looks like a cracking player. Damian Duff's shorts are about 10 sizes too big.
The football romantics spaff everywhere as Crawley get drawn away to Uited in the 5th round - good luck to them. Arsenal get a bit luky against Huddersfield. Man City, Chelsea draw. Stevenage lose. Loads of other FA cup results.
Spurs bid for every striker currenlty playing in La Liga. Liverpool want £50m for torres. Newcastle want a similar amount for Carroll. Keane signs for West Ham on loan. City tell SWP to shut up. Ashley Young. Charlie Adam etc.
GET YOUR RUMOUR ON THE BBC TICKER AND POST HERE FOR EXTRA KUDOS, ESPECIALLY IF IT INVOLVES A HELICOPTER.