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i have a black woman's ass.
My hands are too big for my arms
I thought I was going to be massive
But child bearing hips
Go up and down straight. You know skinny girls who have a vest top with their nipples protruding and no hips?
But it ain't gonna happen.
I was feeling happy because the stomach bug I've had has robbed me of my hips, and i'm at my happiest when I'm just straight up and down and my hip bones jut out. He was not looking quite so enthusiastic. we had a roast dinner shortly thereafter, as if by coincidence.
the only thing I wish I had were longer legs. Much longer legs. I once had this conversation with my fella and he said if I had longer legs we wouldn't have dated. I secretly hoped he was saying I would be a model and way out of his league, though in all honesty he meant I would be taller than him so no.
big boobs and hips are infinitely better.
Look at Christina Hendricks... I do.
She does have mammouth boobs though and a beauty face, and beauty skin, and beautiful hair
And the shallowness of my postings are making me feel quite bad right now.
you know, like simon cowells is?
I swear this is why I have terrible terrible terrible balance.
'I have the same size feet as my 5'3" mother (5-6, depending on the shop/style)' whereas most women my height that I know have size 7-8 feet.
completely didn't read the 5-6 part.
Also, little need for skis, can walk on water, etc
Like a clown, but slightly less scary to children.
I've had teenage skin for about 10 years now.
eczema has ruined any opportunity I might have had to have nice skin.
touch my toes with my legs straight.
chicken skin thing if I pinch them up
don't pinch themup
Why should SHE have all the fun?
problem is it is quite addicitve
Also, even when I'm at my skinniest, I will still not be able to fit into the appropriate size clothes because I have massive shoulders and hips.
Also my face is wonky and bong eye.
Also rabbit nose.
big asses on girls are good. on guys not so much
I MIGHT GET STUCK PLACES AND STUFF
WOULD THAT BE GOOD EH
Starring Kim Kardashian in the adaptation.
Okay, that was when I was swimming virtually every day and hadn’t torn the ligaments in my ankle.
But on the plus side, I no longer have centre-parted curtains.
More things: I am developing a podge; my arse is so fat that it makes my spine curve and my posture bad; my ankles sprain really, really easily; my knees ache, often for no real reason; also, having taken years of battering in football, my toes look ugly.
How can I harness this for the good of my stomach and bottom, I need to know.
Also, I am pretty much too small for any practical or aesthetic use.
so many replies
Apart from that I'm yer regular Adonis.
STUPID BIG NECK.
I've been well aware of my body's numerous other practical and aesthetic shortcomings for quite some time already.
If you just sit back and look at them, they sort of shift around like molten lava.
I would probably have never noticed this if a housemate hadn't once told us about it. She'd observed it on an ex or something.
Yeah, i know it's not a massive revelation, something to do with temperature regulation i expect. But it IS pretty weird when you first see it, like a weird sea anemone or something. And strange to think that you can go for your whole life without noticing it.
Check 'em out next time you get a chance! (not mine, obvs)
^basis for an old David Baddiel sketch on his Too Much Information video.
*Only 1 left in stock--order soon.*
but it's not actually them that move. Yeah, i suppose it is just one, but not sure about the grammar of it all. Like a pair of trousers, there's definitely two parts to the whole.
I now look flacid and saggy with fat hanging around my love handles like a childs rubber ring.
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today
To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...
No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay
And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times
'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
you figure it out
my body is a life map of scars
it's far too big for my face. i got teased mercilessly about as a kid, and now it makes me horribly self-conscious. great.
also, i'm very skinny but have giant muscles on my legs due to years of ballet. i look disproportionate. guh.
And numerous other depressing things.
you weren't fat.
shut up woman.
I reckon you're pretty skinny.
DiS would have seriously let me down...
but then my forearms and bottom of legs bit are dead skinny and i look like a wazzock
Seems like quite a girly trait.
Although the girl who noticed it was a big fan, and they may have helped me to successfully woo her, so they're not THAT girly I guess?...
it might be the other way round.
It's not smaller really, I just have that Matt Damon thing going on with the odd eyes.
Also my smile is ultra goofy.
Also my arse is actually very pert for a boy.
too bad it's buddha
AIN'T THAT RIGHT HILARIOUS COMEDY T-SHIRTS??? EH? EH? EHHHHHHHH???
TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER
I had a friend with a 'take me to your dealer' poster in his room with an alien smoking a spliff on it. He was the coolest.
I will never be a mermaid.
(something purile about inches)
(ergo: you give shit blowjobs)
Might have a someone sculpt a statue of me, to immortalise the perfection.
PUSHING THE GAY AGENDA
with such a small penis
but sometimes it just occurs to me how ridiculous i look. i was at a festival with my little sister and i was sat down watching her bustle around and i thought 'hehe she's so short, she looks silly' (we're both quite booby and chubby too) then later in the day i discovered im actually a little shorter than her. WTF?!
and yesterday i was on tiptoes looking in the bathroom mirror checking myself out, looking fly, then i stepped down and most of me disappeared and i put my hand where my head stops and it just looked so stumpy!
they are annoying me a treat at the moment though
I have the body of an indie fantasy chick disregarding one small protrusion which is basically negligable.
these boys would love me
that traps hair and goes all bobbly, im covered in tiny ingrown hairs basically, you can literally turf them out with a needle and bit of keratin comes out too, nothing seems to solve this
i am also slowly turning into a hairy monkey, which makes the bobbling worse, it is quite upsetting, progress is rapid once the first few sprout!!my lovely shoulders!!!
other than that im nice n symmetrical with a dope 6 pack
But it'll only last for the period between 1 hour after washing, and 3 hours after that.
The coldsores are never gonna stop, only get more and more infrequent and less and less serious when they do arrive.
I have two, sometimes three, hairs growing out of some (roughly half?) of my arm hair follicles (but nowhere else, as far as I can tell).
Bit weird. Probably Pili Multigemini. Nothing like the gore that pops up when you google or wiki that term though. It's a bit like a mild version of this: http://www.drgho.com/images/gho/discov3.jpg
Probably means I'm naturally well-equipped for the cold. I might even be the missing link to the neanderthals.
But my feet are a normal size 9.
Other than that I think I'm getting my 'man strength' properly now......you remember the huge difference between you and your dad's strength when you were growing up and it's just something that comes....well that's it for me.
I feel I'm getting stronger....other than that I'm not tall enough. Just under 5ft 9.....i'm 20, men stop growing at 21-25 right? RIGHT????
not grown at all since 17/18 i'm afraid
FUCK YOU OOMPAH LOOMPA
I did find this though which is basically completely unrelated (other than it does have said video featured) but amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq1whLQP9vw
Although, to be honest I'm fairly happy with my weight. Could do with toning up a bit, but who couldn't?
I have a weird face but I've got used to it now.
Could use gaining a little bit of weight though.
and since i'm too lazy (and too ginger just now) to ever tan naturally or otherwise then it will always be that way
you could spray tan?
Was just talking to him the other day about him wanting a "Tanned Honey"
too lazy. if i could do it once and never bother about it again that's be awesome, i can't be fucked with that kind of upkeep though. Plus i don't really want a tan, just to be less see through. Oh well!
otherwise my body gets really tight and stiff.
im also ultra sensitive
than my waist
How much do you weigh?
and more prominent towards the front.
Really fucking annoying, I hear its common though.
(someone validate this) D:
my big sister taught my two year old nephew where his monobrow was over christmas "benji, where's your mono?" and he points to it :D
big noses on men are sexy
was well hung was if he had a big nose...
So when she says big noses are sexy, you know what she really means.
For this reason he was scouted by a modelling agency.
We once had an argument and I told him he had a nose he could hunt with.
We split up.
He was pretty average size wise in the penis deparment.
basically i have problems with my skin colour in various places.
and i'm a racist.
Im too brown
was told I have short arms for my height and that my head is much narrower than it should be for its length. GREAT.
My surgically repaired ankle looks way cooler than my normal one.
My wingspan is 2.5 inches longer than my height, which explains my prowess in racket sports and hook shots in basketball. Also makes makes it impossible for my arms to look buff.
eat it. i'm a bigger weirdo than you.
pretty much the only reason i'm rly good at my job.
as covered above. skinny & SICKENINGLY LONG forearms
What do you do?
odd choice of brag here really huh
Also really thin hair, slightest gust of wind and it's all gone awry.
Just a head on some shoulders.
But it suits me.
is 100 times larger and more unsightly than the mole ever was.
Apparently it is 'overgranulated'. What this means in reality is 'fuck off huge and purple and protruding. My mole had 'deep roots'.
Enjoy your dinner.
i've got loads of faint scars from tree climbing wearing a t-shirt/various acts of clumsiness
which would have been entirely his fault because i'm the one with the even temperament