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number 3 is sadly familiar.
Three and five I recognise.
One isn't just limited to IM, I find the same for texts. I love texting, because generally I think in situations like flirting or something, I can come across far better when I have the benefit of writing and considering a response, rather than the panic of a phonecall, but when someone doesn't reply, even if it's for perfectly innocuous reasons, I can't help myself jumping to extreme conclusions.
That the conversation is boring and not sustainable, and that quite soon you are both going to run out of things to say.
Maybe that's not so new though.
But I guess these are just general social failings we have ;)
I liked this one suggested in a comment too, very DiS:
I would add this one: "The simultaneous adreneline and anxiety when you remember that you made a post on some web forum and wonder whether anyone's replied to it." The more controversial your original comment, the sweeter and greater the angst you feel imagining the possible replies to it.
Usually this is followed by another internet-specific emotion, "disappointment and a feeling of invalidation when you discovered no one has replied to your post at all."
The overwhelming sense of validation when more than five people 'this' either a point you've made in a discussion or a positive reaction (e.g. :D) to a joke you've made.
I really want the '^this' function to start functioning again.
Bloody hell, you have high aspirations. One ^this is enough for me, two makes me feel special, not sure it's ever reached 5.