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Rockets like a fucking commando
and then he felt bad and bought her jewelery.
followed by the systematic destruction of the wooed party's self-esteem.
Why am I not single though. Hmm. I reckon its because I'm really good looking.
I assumed one was a spare, so I mad my move.
Also, I'm really fucking cool and I play the clitoris like a sexual Carlos Santana.
That and I'm basically a portal so she can perv on my sexier friends by hanging out with me.
You do him a huge diservice.
SHE REMIND ME OF A WEST SIDE STORY
What sort of rancid animal doesn't know if they've puked or not?
dislodging itself from my back molar. Either way upon reading your filth I ended up with a bad taste in my mouth.
it seems to be the right place.
I assume a 'tast' isn't something you should eat?
You mean you aren't?
I can vouch for all of the above.
that he can't even laugh because its that funny.
scrap my answer. I'm gonna go with "its because I pay for everything"
but I genuinely don't think I am. I'm often laughed at by him and have been by other boyfriends but I think its mainly because I'm an immature idiot. I'd rather be a hot girl or a cute girl than a funny girl.
except I'm also a hot Milf and a cute girl.
I was just gonna reply....but then abandoned it.
- Not bad looking
- My bands are awesome
- Half decent job
- Own my own home
- Good at cooking
I SHIT 'EM!
but never mind.
Didn't realise that so many people found arrogance attractive
its more the inability to tell the difference between confidence and arrogance
"we got drunk and got off with each other, the rest is history"
thanks for your input today, meths.
I'm off to practice my solos.
Is this the punch line? whats the set up? is this the set up?
Oh ok. She was working backstage at a festival I was playing - she sorted out our rider etc and ended up hanging out with us all day.
Luckily I'd had her number in my phone from the day before when we had to text her to see if there was anywhere to stay. I texted her when i got home telling her I had a crush on her. WHAT A BIG GAY.
i mean, "we got drunk and got off with each other, the rest is history".
DADDY WAS RIGHT!
We can't really remember what happened, but a few days later I found myself in London first thing on a Friday morning, having been out all night at a party. He had been having a party at his place too and hadn't slept, and we met up wearing dark glasses on a rainy january and looking like a pair of cunts. We went for a fry up. I went back to his and stepped over a semi-conscious famous person who was passed out on the floor. We then played guitars, listened to the boozy ramblings of his flatmate, then had to spurn the advances of said flatmate who wanted a 3some, and then slept for 24 hours. Who says romance is dead :D
I love stories that are a bit weird.
I do wonder how many meet ups happen as a result of a pervy PM!
"Italians have a long proud tradition for being led by seriously? brain damaged men."
I think most people do. I've actually got that one registered, so I might switch to using it.
continuing to bitch about any and every post either of us put up here, on twitter.
Would probably a bit less weird if one of them in particular - looking a lot like a melted candle in a sweater - hadn't spent a large portion of Something Serious NYE staring at me in a slightly homoerotic/intimidated way.
Looking forward to Team Cliche noticing this particular post and scrambling a team of ugly knitwear fighter jets to take me out.
How amusing :'D
(Also, he was looking me love, sorry to break it to you :'D)
i want to say he was frowning but that could just have likely been some kind of general palsy.
so technically it's a generous post.
How totally bizarre. Did he not squeal like a little gay piglet and send you a big gushy apology on facebook or something for being a cunt the last time? This is why you shouldn't have pretend friends on your facebook :)
*takes a bet on how many ":''''''''''''''''''''D"'s he'll type in response...
Actually, I DID meet Zapsta mega, mega briefly, along with Ibzo, and he looked mortified to be generally introducted as 'Zapsta'. But a good handshake nonetheless.
there were a lot of people i sort-of recognised but not quite there.
We may not see eye to eye all the time but he's never pretended to like either of us, unlike his 2-faced girlfriend and the rest of his gang.
has made me immediately start imagining the worst West Side Story ever.
I'm aware, by the way, that by even making that initial post i'm likely starting something where Everyone Loses. I might just swan off and leave it to annoy a few folk now.
Anyone know who the guy was in the toilets at NYE something serious at around 2A.M wearing a red jumper, standing at the urinals and drinking whilst presumably pissing?
He turned and winked at me and it was in equal parts exciting/ terrifying.
He was really tall.
Someone had better warm him.
I was legally the fuck MARRIED.
[bogwashes EVERYONE in the "why are you single thread]
and we all ended up at the local pub. He came over to me a little tipsy and asked if I wanted a drink, we were standing at the bar and he in an honest state told me he really liked my boobs. Best pick up line ever!
and nice boobs, by the way
Nice to see s guy getting rewarded for his honesty! :)
The "nice" thing to do would've been not to bring up her boobs at such an early convenience.
And that's just from me
I try hard to be ugly, just doesn't work out though :(
sedatives, bungee cord, a tractor tyre, a dozen goose eggs and a spatula.
Not necessarily in that order either.
great name for a sludge metal band.
she sounds brilliant.
Both penile and stomachular.
JUS' DA WAY U R
and she totally said yes.
risking life and limb.
And 6 years ago after meeting her I embarked on a truly remarkable temporary transformation, using much smoke and many mirrors, which portrayed me as a thoughtful, romantic human-being. She now frequently say's she feels "conned" and asks when I'm gonna start playing guitar and writing poetry again. DR DECEPTION WINS THROUGH AGAIN.
Brilliant. The deception thing happens to most people though doesn't it? I wish I could pretend just for a little while that I'm really cool and stuff but I really am not...or I just forget about 5 minutes after I decide i'm gonna come across as super cool.
I was a bit shit for the first 6 months in many ways. Now I'm a solid gold boyfriend and her family love me!
was walking the dog about 30 mins ago. Kept it secret from her for 6 years because my gf says she "would be really upset due to family dying from it" etc. Disappointing multiple mums, I'm a monster.
last time I saw my gf's mum she said something like "Well I'm glad someone is looking after her". I'm a hero.
Now, I'm dead to her/dying from smoking. The mighty can fall Darcy, the mighty can fall.
because he was a bad boy. But now I'm going out with a mega geek, who they haven't even met yet, they're like "I like him"
but just a bit needy.
and lucky cos my girl is just better than me in almost every way.
(May aswell if the other ones up)
that's it really
which had been an utter nightmare from, oh, probably day 10. So I was single for the first time in a while, and fucking loving it, just revelling in the freedom and the sheer relief of getting out of that emotional hellhole.
Within 3 months I'd met Mrs Blisters and we've been together ever since. Everything's great, totally in love and all that, but I do think wistfully sometimes about that brief window of singleness and how I wasn't yet ready to close it.
I'm also a drunk. It's a basically irresistible combo as you can probably imagine.
Jersey Shore ftw bruh.
to put up with me
I have no idea how I ended up persuading anyone to tolerate me, let alone enjoy it. Other than the fact I'm a decent cook.