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My cock tastes like wet wipes and I sometimes open the door. Any takers?
I dread to think what this means
P.s. ^ That's what she said.
Let's spend the night doing quotes
*giggles, and runs into the sea*
SMASHING IT IN.
Courtship-by-numbers....this is how it should always be.
but I don't want to.
of course we can be friends x
I've got flavoured gel pens. Would you like me to do some colouring in?
you can just say they're "disco balls"
i think i've lost my marbles
...as my famous wet wipe bath at T in the Park will testify.
+ shampoo, conditioner......I was a walking toiletry.
Still didn't stop me from shitting in my tent, though.
Doesn't land you a hot chick, I don't know what will. Good luck!
Do pixels still have fannies?
I Narrowly avoided having to help her wash her car today.
Think how cold my callous free hands could have got washing a car in this weather? It doesn't bear thinking about
but I'd advise you wear gloves while you do
They're not central to my plans right now.
*cue girlfriend, probably*
What about that recent one that you're a bit infatuated with?
Put yourself out there and THEN act like you're not bothered. Then it looks like you're comfortable with yourself, enjoy going out and having fun for its own sake, and don't need women to complete you, because you're already an attractive, charming individual with a life of his own.
You know, that kind of bullshit.
even ones without woman bits
DO YOU JUST WANT TO GET A SNACK OR GO FOR A BISCUIT OR SOMETHING????
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT CONVENTIONAL "I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AFTER WE'VE EATEN" METHODS ARE ANYMORE
I'm on a ''Mad Men'' fix at the moment, so this could work.
I'd be really shit on Blind Date/Take Me Out.
I could try and make it erotic, but it's going to abit of a task.
''I'll be your task any day of the week...''
Now we're cooking.
i wont let you win this race.
Oh BUMBLER!! COEEEE!
give em a virtual whirl ;)
Perversely, this week a new girl has started in my office who is pretty cool and I think - in my very limited experience - we may be flirting. Bloody women are like bloody buses. Dirty, overpriced, and ridden by poor people.
Michael_w's threads are a kindred circle of lonely hearts and eager, first date anecdotes.
This is my crowd:
''This thread is getting steadily creepier''
I suspect the 'baby voice' thing just didn't translate well.
good for you mate
I'm quite the stupid arsehole.
Are you a caveman?
...and, following on from that....it's like baby speech spoken in adult voice.......but typed instead of spoken.
WE HAVE A LIVE ONE
Which is internet terminology for 'utterly unattractive man moaning'. Its similarity to hesitant noise can be useful in situations where tact might be required in sending a warning out to other females in the area.