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One of these might be made up.
Nothing is sexual where I work. I think the sexiest thing I've heard is "push the flex button"
we also use 'snatch photos', which are nowhere near as rude as they sound.
Anyway, what's rude about nibs?
Add them to the list.
Nothing especially rude about nibs. Sounds a bit like nips, I guess? Our new editor has instigated a new nib policy, we all have to write at least six a day. On my very rural patched, this is not as easy as it sounds, and is thus, a load of balls.
And wanker was more an expression of annoyance than an insult ;)
What's your paper like? Where abouts are you?
I've just finished deadline actually. I've been a journo for six years and am looking to get out. I'll do anything even vaguely related. Seriously.
Good sources of nibs for me = planning applications. I fucking love planning applications.
I also forgot dog's cock for the list, although I think that one's supposed to sound rude.
I tend to find there's either nothing in them or a proper lead-worthy story though...
I don't finish my NCTJ until next March (fingers crossed I pass), and I already want out. I'm on a weekly, covering a couple of small towns and rural countryside in Essex. It's not the worst patch in the world, but it's pretty fucking dull. Although I don't think I want to do news, even on a better paper.
I always thought it was a bit like a driving test - in that the examiners are expecting you to work (or write) in a way you never would once you've passed.
Don't blame you for wanting out so early though - even in six years I've seen some pretty depressing changes. We've had two redundancies at my office in the last couple of years (plus one person who had to re-apply for his own job - which I didn't really understand). Finding the time to actually be a reporter (rather than just churning out PRs) is getting more difficult.
Our chief reporter, and my "trainer" left in Summer (after proving herself to be a massive cock-up), and there's been no contingency, so haven't had the proper appraisals or any imput towards my portfolio. I think I'm just going to have to take a week off and do it. I don't know what to expect from the final exams, but in the NCTJs seemed to want you to write in the most boring way possible.
To be fair, I'm not treated like a trainee, I'm expected to do the same as anyone else, but it has its downsides as well.
The paper is of a pretty good quality, but circulation is tiny and declining, and all the new ideas (we've just started a "Look who's Tweeting" column) just seem laughable.
- Cock Rings
- 6'' Cocks
Is that what you kids are calling fanny?
My eyes are dry and my phone screen small.
Widows and orphans :(
On the first day of my NCTJ course, we were split into pairs and given a list of newspaper terms to define and discuss. As we went down the list, I said: "Widows and orphans... what do you think they are?" She looked at me, shrugged, and in a really sincere way said: "A paper's bread and butter?"
I still tease her about it, although she works for the Sunday Times so I guess she's had the last laugh.
Upper Bottom Pumping Station
is gusset files
I run a close second to sheeldz.
Ring expansion, ring contraction and cleavage are always good for a giggle.
"Backside attack of the HOMO" isn't really chemically probable, but it's close enough.
"Carry on: Whatever it is you do, Epimer."
Yeah, that'll do.