Chelsea come from behind against MSK Zilina in a match that was quite entertaining for 45 minutes. McEachran looked impressive, as did Van Aanholt. BRUMA SOONER.
Arsenal slip up 2-0 to some team with a ground built into a fucking cliff. Two great goals from Matheus. THUNDERBIRDS! (they'll still qualify).
Real Madrid get two players sent off to make them available for the knock-out stages. Perfectly within the laws of the game, methinks. Elsewhere Roma mount a fantastic comeback against Germans Bayern Munich, with Totti (i think) giving a Hitler salute to top things off. MOVEMBER (HITLER TASH)
Tonight, Man Utd take on Rangers. Can't see it being a good game, but Hernandez's pre-match routine might ruffle some feathers if he starts, which is unlikely. Spurs vs Werder Bremen will be more interesting i'm sure. T'RIFFIC PRAYER.