TL;DR moment coming up, but basically got to have a bit of a rant about this, hopefully others will be able to share similar experiences, be they in the realm of football or elsewhere.
To the DiS football crowd - I realise I have a reputation for being a bit of a moaner / chancer in games, but I'd like to think I've always been reasonable with it, and realised (eventually) when to shut up and accept I'm being a dick. However, this story takes the biscuit.
Just played five a side for my mate Dave's team in a league in Chiswick. We aren't the best team ever, but were up against a team comprised of men in their late 40s, so should really have won easily. We ended up losing in the most embarrassing of circumstances as six grown men acted like unbelieveable wankers and made me question humanity.
About 20 mins in to a 50 minute game, our finishing had been terrible and our defending somewhat suspect, and we found ourselves 2-1 down. Anyone familar with general five-a-side rules will know defenders aren't allowed to enter the box. The ball rebounds off the wall at our end, and runs parallel to the edge of our box. One of our players, not anywhere near any of their players, taps it back to our goalkeeper. One of the opposition screams out like a little girl "IN THE BOX!! PENALTY!! THAT'S A BLATANT PENALTY!!". There are no refs in these games, and in about 20 non-reffed games I have played in in the past we have never encountered problems of this nature. If it is marginal, then out of sheer common sense the defending team gets the benefit of the doubt, and if it is a penalty, then the opposing team has always owned up, even when we have played the most disagreeable of chav teams.
Our guy simply didn't enter the box. At worst the end of his foot hovered over the line after he kicked the ball back, which also was not in the box. Our keeper, me, and the guy who kicked it all had a perfect view and said in slightly incredulous but diplomatic terms to the guy the guy "nice try mate *grin*", but this guy was so adamant that he starts a massive rant that we're cheats and aren't worthy of playing in the league. His whole team backs him up despite only one of them being in any position to properly see the incident. We refuse out of principle to let them have a penalty, still in disbelief that they can be this cuntish, and the guy who originally shouted for the penalty storms off almost in tears uttering the immortal line "I used to play for Norwich!", not to be seen again.
The rest of their players then waste over five minutes of the game having a mothers meeting about whether they should continue, which they eventually do, and we restart and score within ten seconds. They then refuse to allow this goal saying they weren't ready, to which we can do nothing. Two minutes later I attempt a somewhat hopeful backheel shot which goes wide. They stop the game again and one of their players pipes up in the whiniest voice ever "if you're just gonna take the piss we're gonna leave - that's just disrespectful and does a little impression of me attempting a backheel". I point out to him in further disbelief that we are 2-1 down, so why the hell would I be showboating, to which he shakes his head and tuts - in complete seriousness. Next time I go near him he barges me with his foot raised.
Throughout the rest of the game they do the following things :
- Block a freekick from point blank range (when you are meant to leave a gentlemanly yard), run up the other end and score after we had all stopped playing having called a foul because it was ridiculously obvious that it was, and they flat ignore, literally blank our protests so we have no choice but to play on with a goal chalked up for them.
- Throw their (considerable) weight around with some frankly dangerous and pre-meditated challenges in places, then on the one or two occasions we put in a strong but fair challenge make girly noises of protest and scream "cheats!" at us like little kids.
- Moan about anything and everything else and refer to us as "fucking cheats" for the entirety of the game. I might be a bit of a lippy bastard at times, but the rest of the team are genuinely the nicest guys ever, and I was pretty much struck dumb by their unbelieveable twattishness anyway.
- Expect us all to shake hands with them at the end of the game acting like nothing has happened, and when I say to one of them "no mate, you are an utter embarrassment" he looks at me, in complete earnestness, like I have just called Mother Teresa a cunt, muttering "unbelieveable!".
I realise this is probably the lamest thread in the history of DiS and will probably get 0 replies, but has anyone else encountered situations where grown men have acted like total bumholes and left you in utter disbelief?
We have played teams of borderline degenerate, rough and tumble youngsters before, but they have at least always acknowledged the fact there is no ref and been generally reasonable, but these guys were regular 40-50 year old middle class white guys who must have jobs and families. I know this particular scenario is somewhat trivial to say the least but it really rammed home how much of a bunch of cunts a lot of people in this world are. I am genuinely saddened, no joke.
Other things :
BAD - Arsenal losing to Braga. Sort it out lads.
GOOD - Richard Ashcroft randomly walking past in Adidas trackie bottoms and a budget black hoody, assumedly to play a bit of football. We didn't find his pitch, but it was definitely 100% him.