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any saint who could bilocate is cool with me.
The patron saint of pre-packed sandwiches
I withdraw my post on technical grounds
from St Helens to St Mirren.
after my confirmation saint, Maria Goretti, patron saint of virgins.
"Not long after Moses joined the monastic community, a group of four cutthroat thieves broke into the church and started looting holy artifacts and stealing money from the collection plate. Well, as we have noted previously, Moses fully dedicated himself to whatever it was he was doing all of the goddamned time. He may have become a monk to escape prosecution, but he was devoted to his calling - and a dude like Moses sure as shit wasn't going to sit around and let some punk hoodlums disrespect his new home. He stood up, cracked his knucles, spit, and took two steps towards the assembled, dagger-wielding cabal of robbers and murderers.
The four bandits jumped the monk, but he responded by beating their fucking heads in with his bare hands."
Although my confirmation name is Francis cos that guy from Assisi was a total bro to animals. I reckon we could hang out.
he let me puff on his doobie
because he had the head of a dog.