Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
We've all got some, so come on, let's be having them.
Answer: "This is."
A. "IF it is, this is an answer".
Front page: "Read all the way through this exam paper before attempting to answer any of the questions".
Middle page: Raise your hand and say out loud to the invigilator that you are at the half way point and are the leader so far.
Last page: "DO NOT carry out the instruction that appears half way through this paper requiring you to alert the invigilator that you've reached the half way point."
Gung ho student [half way through the exam, looks pleased with himself, raises his hand]: "Half way point and I am the leader so far".
Everyone else: LOLLERZ.
but our English A Level teacher gave us a short test with pretty much this, except at the very bottom of the page after the essay titles, the paper said not to attempt any questions.
The dad takes the family out for dinner to celebrate where, funnily enough the truth comes out and the boy flees to join the army, having never been seen since.
when he asked if they could do anal. She said yeah, so they give it go. Suddenley, there's a noise downstairs, and in a panic, he pulls out really quick and shits the bed. They quickly get dressed as she realises her parents are back. Going downstairs, they explain that the family dog has unfortuantely shit in their bed. So they put it down.
I recently saw this used a plot in some shit BBC3 comedy.
Anyway. Did you mean she shit the bed, rather than he?
One morning, he woke up and found himself in a bath of ice, and there was a note next to him. The note said, “call an ambulance; we’ve taken your kidneys.”
my mate told me that once, when his flatmate drank himself into oblivion, my mate and the other flatmates stuck a condom up his hole (with the aid of tweezers or something, mmmm) and left a note with a phone number on it. The fellow apparently looked a bit shocked in the morning.
WOMEN DON'T TAKE THINGS OFF YOUR WINDSCREEN!!!!!
A policeman told me yesterday about a new trick car thieves are using to steal cars from women IN THIS AREA. They will stick a sign on your windscreen, so when you get in your car and see it, you'll get out to look at it. THAT'S WHEN THE THIEF WILL STRIKE. He will get into your car and drive away BECAUSE YOU LEFT THE KEYS IN THERE.
PASS THIS ON ALL YOUR FRIENDS!!!
I'm going to need a new car theft strategy.
I usually find the debunking on Snopes and then forward that link to everyone.
My mum almost disowned me once (as I've previously documented elsewhere on DiS), when I went a bit overboard on the debunking thing.
i would like to see this in action.
Saying that a gang of roving RAPIST MURDERING GYPSY TYPES were leaving babies in car seats at teh side of the road and then when people stopped to help they were dragging them into the woods and then RAPING AND MURDERING THEM.
I had to point out that a) we aren't living in an apocalyptic wasteland and b)if this were true you would have thought it may have made the news. The only response: "better safe than sorry!"
is that RAPIST MURDERERS climb in your car and hide in the back while you are paying for petrol if you don't lock your doors.
You can't see them in the dark and them sit on them and get the aids.
This one freaks me out a bit really, although I'm sure it's never really happened.
pretty nasty rumour
Makes you shudder a bit, doesn't it?
splashdown was ace though (when i was 12). waterslides plus Snap! on loop
Either way - I went twice when I was younger and had the best time of my life.
about the DOMEBUSTERS at the Oasis in Swindon (where the band got their name from I might add)
and contracted aids. It sent him a bit mad and so he went to said club and injected the 'slappers' with his blood.
Actually, this really freaked me out at the time.
Assuming the only people who have dirty, AID-y syringes are junkies, who aren't likely to want to waste good
3. kilojoules of energy to even get there
at a cinema. And you certainly can't stick a whole syringe through a cushion, which leaves just the needle. Which would take a shit load of pretty obvious effort just to get it positioned right, and would be ruined the second they finished when the sring-loaded seat clams up and pushes the needle into the cushion.
The razorblade in waterslides one though - that happens ALL THE TIME
I heard that years ago.
about a guy who'd been tied to a lamppost, naked, and left alone for a while, on a stag weekend in a European country and he ended up getting bummed. And subsequently never talked to the 'friends' again. And called the wedding off.
Was probably the Jay of the group being more convincing than usual, though.
it basically means an urban myth - so a story that people quote as fact but is actually partially or wholly false. See www.snopes.com for further examples.
clicking on that drop down arrow next to the google icon next to your firefox (or whatever) search box and selecting "Add search engine"
using that incredibly easy function to get straight to your answer instead of being a trolly wind-up merchant for no good reason
keyboard shortcuts that may be of interest are Ctrl+T (new tab), Ctrl+K (select search box), Ctrl+up arrow/down arrow (scroll through search sites)
if you use another browser try http://mycroft.mozdev.org/
if that's no use, just bookmark those sites, ffs
the sign says
and we'd be grateful if you obeyed it.
Or is he?
Most of our greatest men and women have been largely autodidactic.
Oh, here's a link for when you need to look it up:
I heart you a little bit.
leave off on the vocabulary = toff thing. You can read dictionaries too.
then you won't be allowed an account
and my friend's uncle's girlfriend's golf buddy's hydrotherapist's favourite prostitute's brother is a health inspector and he says they found HALF AN ALSATIAN in the freezer they had clearly BEEN USING IN THEIR MEALS so they shut them down.
I hear this one every time a restaurant closes down back home. I don't think one has ever closed due to financial pressures there. It's always because of the dog/rat/cat based cuisine.
well, her friend used to babysit reight, and one night she was babysitting for a toddler and called the famuily up to ask if she could move the clown statue in the corner of the room as it was freaking her out. Anyways, the family say "what? we don't have a clown statue!" Turns out it was some massive perv who had been sneaking into babies rooms dressed as a clown statue and getting paedo kicks at night from babies.
TRUE STORY AND EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
And thought it was real?
by sticking to sharp pencils up their nose and slamming their head into the desk.
snopes debunks it, but gives a gruesome (non-deadly) example of something similar - http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/pencils.asp
i'll be buggered if i know if they're apocryphal or not.
either came up with ^this in the mid 90s, or he stole/adopted it.
It was a a mug of coffee in the version he tells.
He snuck into this cow field at night right and started fucking this cow up the arse and then the cow bolted and contracted his arsehole so tight that it dragged this bloke all over the field by his cock before ripping his cock and balls clean off. He totally bled to death. I ain't shittin' ya mate.
He was playing rugby right and he got in a really bad tackle and his hip came right out of his socket 'n' that. So they got in off the pitch and cracked his hip back in and everything but one of his bollocks had slipped down into the joint of his hip so when they cracked his hip back in it crushed it. Mingin. And apparently he also ripped his vocal chords from screaming so loud.