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how do you know when you're in it?
and nobody blushes and conversation continues.
and nothing's happened.
not go well then?
herein lies the problem
that's a bad sign.
mostly it just means one or both have stopped fancying each other and just like being friends.
Some couples I know were friends for quite a while (maybe years) until they got together.
If people are good friends but both really like each other but don't act on it cos they're worried they'll lose their friendship need to mtfu.
tbh that fact you (both) live with them makes it extra tricky. If it goes wrong it could be a bit awkward for a while but if it goes well and he likes you too then you're a couple instantly living together which sounds risky to me.
If they're shy like (one of you) said then that also doesn't help. Shy people are very hard to read in situations like that and can come across as stand offish even if they're sitting there wishing you'd kiss their face.
Take him out for drinks, flirt mercilessly - lot's of subtle touching, etc, vague hints about liking him without sraight up saying you fancy him and see how he responds. If you still get nothing and still like the idea of going out with someone cripplingly shy and clueless - stick your tongue in his mouth. Then you'll get an answer. Just be prepared for him to move out in case he's one of these modern men who are scared of sex.*
*he might not be like this at all. He might just have no idea you like him like that if you haven't been forward enough. Some people can be oblivious to all the the most obvious of flirting.
If not - you're in it. Simples.
i've known enough boys to know *that* much
...it's probably the single best indicator I can offer, based on absolutely minimal knowledge of yourself or your romantic history.
I've always found it a pretty good yardstick but maybe that's the inner Boris Becker in me.
oh you, stop bragging.
More like a fucking TOTEM POLE yeah.
if you're getting laid, only when you're both drunk and a bit depressed, you're totally in the friend zone
If he says 'Friends' you're in the zone.
Surely if you're questioning it now there is something not quite right.
Whiterussian should just get him out for a few jars, and when they're sitting close together, lean in a bit. I'd imagine it'll just go from there. Seduction should be all smoke and mirrors!
ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?????
I'm guessing you don't set your alarm earlier than his so you can put on make up before he sees you?!
This is like the people who will get up before their boyfriends to put their make up on and look pretty. Too much effort. I'd rather look grubby and make them take me for what I am.
You've been telling everyone on the board that you're hot. I might not have bothered replying to your posts if I knew you were grubby.
I don't think I've got this whole internet pervert thing down, tbh. Probably should have looked at pictures rather than just taking her word on the matter. Maybe that Joe fella can give me some tips.
I'm totally hot BUT if my boyfriend has seen my vagina and my bumhole, i'm really not going to be ashamed of him seeing me without any make-up.
I'm only put out because I can't be bothered to stalk someone who doesn't live within a five-mile radius of me.
You're not going to Xylos open mic night next week are you? I may bring protection if you are.
I'm taken, I'm afraid.
Thank you. Thank you so, so much.
Still got it.
when you really think about it girlfriend/boyfriend is way stupider. girl. friend. friend. girlfriend? sounds like something a five year old says.
I'd be so embarrassed if someone introduced me as their lover. I think i'd be a bit offended. I think lover seems to me like just a term for someone you're sleeping with. Girlfriend/Boyfriend is a bit silly but its more known as 'in a relationship' whereas lover seems a bit detatched to me. Even though it has the word love in it, it still doesn't seem love-y if you know what I mean.
but then I call him lots of things as a joke.
Boy/girlfriend just seems so grade 8
if we can't make amends?
This post is simply to tell you that it, emphatically, hasn't :)
because you're trapped in a sort of sheet of glass that is flying through space
i love you jonny_rat!
but I always think if someone likes you, they just categorically say they do. They want to spend time alone with you and they can say it. It's not the same as being smarmy - it just means they're willing to take the risk to say that they like you.
Emotional cripples aren't worth the trouble, seriously. Also, even the most reserved guys I've met are willing to say that they like someone if they think the person *might* like them back.
Plenty of people are plenty shy, without necessarily being "emotional cripples". Plenty more people who fancied their housemate would be even less likely to mention it than they otherwise might, for the following reasons.
1. Imagine how awkward getting rejected would make living there from then on...
2. Some people just don't like housemate relationships in principle. Because of the potential messiness.
Having said that I always thought that the "friend zone" was an American concept primarily applied to men - the idea being that women no longer fancy guys they're friends with. A dubious idea at best.
but i think if someone can leave you with the impression they're not interested, they're actually sort of not really THAT interested.
I don't understand why anyone would want to date someone that is that ambivalent about them. It means they don't think you're quite good enough or right for them and that's their problem surely.
But personally? On the flatmate front, never been there, but can't imagine anything worse. There's always moving house? If he's not going to say anything, just ask. I have to say, the ego pain just isn't worth it in the long run because you probably really do know the answer yourself.
The fact that you're THIS confused is a sign they're probably not. I was in that situation for ages and in retrospect, can't believe I wasted my time on such a massive massive twat.
You are discounting EVERYONE who is shy though. And that's fine, if you've decided you can't be arsed with such people.
To suggest that there aren't people of both sexes out there who fancy someone but do nothing about it because they're too scared of rejection/reckon the other person isn't into them, despite the fact that the person really quite likes them too is a bit mad though.
You don't necessarily stop, you just feel more guilty than usual
If it makes you feel better (worse), things are going really well for me. Cheers.
i asked her out. she said ok. we never went out.
this is 100% definitely the best way to tell if he's into you or not
also it wasn't the kind of mixtape with songs that are big statements of love, it was just a really impressive compilation
Looking at this thread, quite a lot of people know all about the saga of you and him. How many people have you told?
I think the cause for your confusion and your biggest problem is that you’ve been thinking way too much about it. Then you moan about him being a shy/neurotic indie guy and saying “I don’t know where he is with me”, but you’re actually being the neurotic indie one by worrying about it all for ages!!!!
C’mon, H, should’ve done what I did – slut it up a bit.
slut it up. right. noted.
Get drunk, make out with him. Later, if he's like "that was weird" say "Yeah, I was pretty drunk", then he'll probably be like "it was weird in an enjoyable way" or "it was weird in a way I dislike" and then you'll know. If he goes all bashful and stuff, then you'll know he likes you.
if Best Coast doens't work, that is
What she should say is "I like you".
since the only song I have heard by them begins with the line 'I want you to be my boyfriend' or 'I want to be your girlfriend' or something along those lines.
my contribution wasn't funny I admit, but it was still meant to be a joke
Neurotic Indie Boy says:
"THAT WAS WEIRD."
"Yeah, I was pretty drunk."
I imagine you wouldn't still be asking this far along--your gut is telling you something your mind is waffling on. But keep in mind that even if he does fancy you, that doesn't mean he's up for taking any action, given the situation in which you two are. That's what you really need to figure out.
broke out of it. coming up to one year on/off with her now.
this is a rare case. trust me.