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Where they are in the jeep, and the t-rex starts chasing them and they get away....you probably want to be the jeep right about now
LottieB marries goat
If you swallow an icecube and start choking, dont panic. Boil a kettle, and pour the water down your throat to dislodge the icecube.
Also, bacon makes great plasters for pigs.
I don't know what is wrong with me today.
Also if you are lost in a maze, try to get out of the maze and you'll know where you are.
to create your own much cheaper minty chewing gum a day later
Everytime I go on there, there's just chris_is_cool in a vest
people on here are automatically suspicious and are assuming that you are one of the well known 'mischief makers'.
Stay calm, do not worry, this is a reflection of their opinion of the mischief makers, not a reflection of what you have posted.
The only advice I would give you is that 'theogb' is an admin on here and although he does joke he will probably be straighter with you than most of us, cos most of us speak with forked tongues
well not yet anyway
He'll think his house is underwater.
Change your name to Mrs Toblerone and use the chocolate packet as a name stand. Your future employers will like your financial prudence
Simply change your name to match your existing plate.
Mr. KVL 741Y
Just do the same things all over again.
Banging two pistachio nut shells together gives the' impression a very small horse' is approaching.
BURGLARS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.
BLIND PEOPLE: Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.
BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
Don't discard used banana skins.. . .They make ideal sun hats for starfish.
Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.
A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers
Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.
Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower
through flaming hoops: they're trained for that.
by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After 3 miles phone your wife and tell he to take the egg out the pan
build your houses from bricks and mortar rather than wood and nails, to stop them falling down so easily in hurricanes.
(Viz said it, not me)
I'll look it up later!
spyglass to eyeshield
TAKE THE KEY
However, each time you do it there is a risk he will fight you and if you lose he will turn you in to a "meths" (there are already a few of these around on the boards - they're mostly harmless).
1) you try to stock up on staple foods that have a long shelf life and dont require too much cooking.
2) stock up on some sugary foods that have a long shelflife
3) get lots of thjin bleach and learn how to add the required amount to make water safe to drink if the water is dirty.
4) get lots of candles or wind up torches
5) get a solid fuel stove
its about the most that you can prepare for for the coming/beginning apocalypse
Can't we just boil the water and siphon off the steam?
except that that will require a lot of fuel which you will need for other things.....of course you could use a ambient or a passive condensation system, like a solar still, but that does not give you a usable quantity of drinkable water instantly
Surely if it's enough to kill germs, it's enough to kill you.
also everyones thin bleach seems to be slightly different
into each 2 litre bottle of Tesco no frills still drinking water that has since had it's contents used and has subsequently been filled with rainwater collected in a water butt?
I wanna be a survivor.
they all tend to be slightly different.
Also beware there are a few slight variations in the actual bleaching chemical used.
If you look at something expensive, like 'miltons' then they actually give the concentrations on the bottle for cleansing drinking water........but it is expensive and it would be better to get lots of cheaper stuff (make sure it doesnt have other additives that make it undrinkable)
boiling would be the best method except that you would have to have it doeing a good rolling boil and have it doing that for over 15 minutes (lots of fuel).
In stead of this filter to remove particles and bleach maybe
Chlorine is a good disinfectant for drinking water as it is effective against the bacteria associated with water-borne disease.
In its usual doses, however, it is ineffective against the cysts of amoebic dysentery, ova of worms, cercariae which cause schistosomiasis, and organisms embedded in solid particles.
Chlorine is easiest to apply in the form of a solution and a useful solution in one which contains 1 percent available chlorine, for example, Milton Antiseptic.
Dakin's solution contains 0.5 percent available chlorine, and bleaching powder holds 25 percent to 30 percent available chlorine. About 37cc (2 1/2 tablespoons) of bleaching powder dissolved in 0.95 liter (1 quart) of water will give a 1 percent chlorine solution.
To chlorinate the water, add 3 drops of 1 percent solution to each 0.95 liter (1 quart) of water to be treated (2 tablespoonfuls to 38 gallons), mix thoroughly and allow it to stand for 20 minutes or longer before using the water.
Chlorine may be obtained in table form as "Sterotabs" formerly known as "Halazone"), "Chlor-dechlor" and "Hydrochlorazone," which are obtainable on the market. Directions for use are on the packages.
the apocalypse is more scary and dangerous than I thought.
just while i have your attention on the matter though... i'm thinking that rural persons are gonna be much better positioned to cope with the aftermath of a fairly sudden world-changing event. the chaos and desperation in urban areas would surely turn these areas into completely uninhabitable zones before very long?
in short, i'm thinking that the best plan would be to sort myself out with a well-stocked smallholding on up on a remote part of northern scotland, near the coast, and with a boat for escaping to other isles should the need arrive? a nearby spring would be handy.
might be even better for setting up shop, pre-apocalypse. not too densely populated, and relatively easily travelled land bridge pretty much from the north to south poles in case the climate (or something else) goes absolutely haywire.
I bought Neil Strauss' book about it the other day and I'm looking forward to reading it.
Haven't got that book, but I've seen Into the Wild. Looks like hard going. I'd rather not, but I may perish.
He spends his whole time convinced humanity isn't worth bothering with, ignoring the wealth of kindness and hospitality he's offered wherever he goes, and only realises his mistake at the very end (I've adopted "All happiness is shared" as a personal motto). Have to say though, that bit at the end, where the photo turns into the REAL photo really does hit you hard.
Or can I?
**** SPOILERS? *********** SPOILERS? ***************
**** SPOILERS? *********** SPOILERS? ***************
I remember him dying in the bus at the end.
I didn't really feel an affinity with the main character. He was pretty disagreeable. But I enjoyed the film as a whole.
I have a memory of a photo of him sat on the bus smiling turns into a real photo of the guy the film is based on in the exact same pose.
I might be making it up.
you are great sometimes!
he's just saying this so he can apologise later in a pm and then ask to see your tits.
^this is probably true
worst troll ever
so it's confirmed. 100% troll. Troll on!
just make sure that you manage to say that to 'the_incapacitant' as well in the first couple of weeks (best up it to 110%)
directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
DIS is addictive.
to scrounge cash for a better broadband package
save yourself and escape whilst you can.