1. The Constant Commenter - I've noticed this for a few of my friends they all seem to have someone who no matter how arcane the status will reply instantly with some vaccuous "Ah r u alright babes?" generic response like they have it constantly on their clipboard. A worrying development is a friend who has a creepy old man do this to them. Utterly unoriginal, with no insight into actually really having a relationship with the person, yet never knowingly beaten to the punch
2. "PLAY MY TINPOT COUNTRY" - You "like" bands right? Well then, you will have experienced this. Band announces a new tour of Luxembourg. Cue half the population of South America DEMANDING an immediate tour of their bedroom in Santiago. 500 times.
3. The Thinly Veiled "I'm doing something exciting" - Oh, I hope it isn't too hot in Florida. Look this is a social network, we're already all pricks for using it. Just lay your balls on the line "I'm going to Florida and you cunts are stuck at work. SUX2BU"
4. The Looking For Sympathy - "I can't believe what happened :(" Just tell us what happened, I'm not gonna pander to you and make you feel better, I have no real interest in you as a person, we're friends on here because I am inherently nosey. Just tell me who died.
5. People who C+P Right Wing Nonsense - Especially when they do it from sources from the US and it doesn't make sense for the UK. I know this PSYCHO from uni who was always posting about how the Queen should have had Gordon Brown executed for treason. He was dead serious too. Hiding him was a great move.
6. Cunts who make post about types of people on facebook on drownedinsound.com - Especially LordLuciusBanter, what a prick