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need to have it soon before I pull my own mickey off.
take up cross-stitch or something instead.
Maybe I need to lower my standards even lower than they were before.
"Get a plastic sandwich baggie and put some Vaseline in it. Then put your penis in and squish all the Vaseline around so it covers your penis. Once that is done, kneel in front of a bed. Lift the up mattress and put your penis, with the baggie still on it, between the mattress and the box-spring. Start pumping as if you were having sex. When you're done, all you have to do is throw away the baggie."!!!