I am not happy, I haven't felt this cheated since Raymond Blanc awarded some fringes who could barely make a picnic their own restaurant.
Last nights Masterchef was a cracker, seemed to have the strongest round of contestants I've seen so far. We had:
1) Actor nobody had ever heard off and who had apparently stolen a pensioners mouth.
2) Joe Mangle, what a beauty.
3) Danielle Lloyd, everyones favourite racist scouse spunk spitoon.
4) Lisa Faulkner, ex lads mag fave
5) Mark Chapman, some ropey DJ from Radio 1.
First round they had to do the invention test, Pensioners Mouth talked a good game and came up with some try hard thai mussel/fish thing. Faulkner done some chicken, Mangle done what looked like a mixed grill, Spitoon and Chapman done things I can't remember. Highlight was Joe Mangle telling John to 'yeah, go on get in there' or something similar when he was cutting up a chop. Try hard got through to the final round.
Then was the invention test which was slow beef cheeks with noody. Now imagine you're me, your lying on the sofa and for one split second you think John Torode is cooking a dish with one of the main ingredients being called Moody. I've never been happier. Anyways it was some slow cooked affair with loads of stuff chucked in. Faulkner done well, Mangle thought it was lamb but was so praising of the dish and Torode it was beautiful to watch, Spitoon and DJ were rubbish.
Then they had to make a poached egg with hollandaise sauce. Faulkner had a mare whist Spitoon and Mangle came up with some decent looking efforts.
DJ was booted. I think Spitoon was booted at some point but I've forgotten when, nevermind.
Next up was the pro kitchen but that's a bit weak so I'm not going to bother with that.
Final round. Faulkner, Mangle, Pensioners Mouth. Faulkner done scallops and pea puree which was a revelation as I would never have thought those things would go together and a piece of chicken on some pasta. She got through as she's a bit pretty and seems quite nice. Pensioners Mouth done some partridge thing but the patridge was raw yet somehow he still got through. Mangle got the boot despite making a lovely looking soup and some rissoles. He called it tucker, I laughed. He encouraged them to get it down them, I laughed. He commented that four chips wasn't enough for Gregg, I laughed. He wore a comedy hat, I laughed. He got booted out, I was angry. Am seriously thinking of boycotting it from now on.