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he'd jump up on the table and dance and stuff
All ^that is making me think is "Why is John Barrowman at Christmas dinner?" Probably just invited himself along, THE CUNT.
Alan Shearer: - Know fuck all about Creosote
David Dickinson: - His skin scares me
Ann Coulter: - Would feel bad about slapping a woman
Michael Cera: - We'd not get served any drinks cos of his annoying young mongy visage and persona
Sarah Jessica Parker : - Ugly
I mean in terms of the most self-important/annoying/boring a-holes
He did go into a pub and order a glass of wine though, which is just absolutely not cricket at all.
Burning that newspaper doesn't make you exempt from the rules
my follow-up should show up in due course, and it'll be relatively obvious
also: don't be a cunt
now i'm afraid of being set on fire :(
OH GOD MAKE IT STOP
All I saw was JUNE SARPONG and I heard her voice and it made me angry
Where they talk about why June Sarpong is on telly so much. Their theory is that she takes so long to say sentences that by the end of the year Channel 4 have saved themselves the cost of an episode of Friends.
if you ever get to hang at the Royal Variety Performance. Assuming the Queen doesn't just sod off home after the camera films a few generic clips of her post-act face. I'm warming to the Queen. She's running things and she doesn't give a fuck
serve chinese food. watch hilarity occur.
John Barrowman (hnnngh)
Jade Goody (the smell would put me off my food)
I guess the smell would still be a factor either way...
did you see Gentle Ben break into that car to get to the peanut butter sandwich on the news. Guy means business.
next to Gentle Ben.
Sascha Baren Cohen
The Pub Landlord is horrendous though. Maybe if he turned up as him
I've seen him do interviews and stuff as him, and he seems really cool.
It would be a horribly unfunny comedy-off. It's like when someone funnier than Paul Merton is on Have I Got News For You and he desperately creates shitty jokes in an attempt to keep up with them. Bad scene
Merton is king of HigNfY.
THe 5 clebs you would MOST like to have dinner with.
That's double hate, professor. I now deduce that StormJH is, in actual, 4rlz fact, a Nazi.
Cheryl Cole (odious)
Jeremy Clarkson (twat)
Simon Cowell (even bigger twat)
Harry Redknapp (over-lionised git and spawned Jamie)
Megan Fox (vacuous)
Iniesta. He's too I'd be scared of smashing him by knocking him as i go past with a saucpan or something.
MIA. Her album cover is utterly terrible.
The cheeky girl that went out with Lembit Opik. Cos shes a stupid cheap slag
Lembit Opik. Cos it would be awkward.
'ah doont think mr hoppy likes this curry very mooch, its too foreign'
Curry? yeah. I mean, theres no way youre going to serve pie, is there?
Samantha Cameron - She is just horrific. An absolute manifestation of double standards and emptiness.
Jeremy Clarkson - I'd end up assaulting him when he tries to deny climate change or whinge about immigration or one of his other terrible political views.
Lars Ulrich - He's just a tosser isn't he? I mean, everyone else in that Metallica film at least came out looking like they had a soul. Ulrich is a personality black hole topped off with an unpleasant sneery voice.
Carol Vorderman - Recent addition due to her shrill whiny performance on question time prior to the election. I also hate people who are actually dumb as pigshit but pretend to be smart and make money out of it.
Jeremy Paxman - Because he'd never let you finish what you were saying.
The only reason this list doesn't include that fat toad Eric Pickles is because I've already had to share breakfast with him.
1. john stapleton - you know, that twat from gmtv. he's the worst fucking dull fuck on grumpy old men, you know besides his publically aired bigotry, he's a massive racist which he keeps simmered for gmtv. he's just everything i hate about human beings.
2. steve jones. the attractive personality vacuum from T4. the thing is, i bet he's a decent guy in real life but on tv he's just the ultimate in trained, forced banter that makes me want to die.
3. mark lawrenson - why don't you cheer the fuck up you northern piece of shit. you're just lucky you're not working down the t'mines.
4. vanessa feltz/veltz? - god, enough said.
5. lily allen - the kind of worthless human who thinks their confidence and braveness to 'speak their minds' is the same as actually having something interesting to say. she's just a loud tedious idiot who even fails at being a worthwhile popstar.
OJ Simpson-I am afraid he would kill me.
Phil Spector-I am afraid he would kill me.
Al Sharpton-His hair is too fucking greasy and it freaks me out.
Kesha-Couldn't keep my food down at the sight of her John Travolta-like face.
John Travolta-Couldn't keep my food down at the sight of his Kesha-like face.
STARTER - 'Comedian'/gobshite night:
Steven K Amos
(standby: Ben Elton)
MAIN COURSE - Premier league meeja git night:
(standby: Jeremy Paxman)
DESSERT - Ladies' night (oh whadda night):
Baroness Sayeeda Warsi
(standby: Shappi Khorsandi/Jo Brand)
Lloyd Webber, because hed want some strange army of horrendously camp men to wait on him hand and foot.
JK Rowling, she seems full of herself.
Andy Parsons from Mock The Week
Michael Mcintyre. You all know why.
That guy who had the face transplant because hed put you off the food.
Basically ive kept out all the evil people/ people in power etc because at least you learn something interesting from them, even if its just having prejudices confirmed. I'd sooner have dinner with an intensly evil person like Hitler than ALW. At least Hitler tried to stop the Von Trapps and their fucking singing, instead of throwing cash at them.
incidentally, 'best' Dinner Party guest: http://youtu.be/ItQH7kTFiNE
It's like a bunch of pissed old slebs/academics from yesteryear reading a thread straight off of here.
Or like Big Brother would be like if they grabbed a bunch of DiS users and threw 'em into the house.
"Yeah well I've said to my missus if I put my plonker on the table I'll take it off unless you give me my mushy peas" (from pt 2)
If you don't want to work through Pts 2, 3, & 4, just skip to midway through #4.
"Tony Blackburn and Peter Tatchell quarrelled over privacy; "Billy Bragg and Teresa Gorman argued over how to reduce the number of unemployed; Garth Crooks and Sir Rhodes Boyson disputed the future of football"
"Although Reed was not the only disruptive guest in the history of After Dark, what put this particular show into the headlines was not so much Reed's behaviour as C4's. It took the show off the air for 20 minutes, filling the space with an old documentary about coal mining. When our programme returned, Reed was still on set and still disruptive."
I have memories of clips of this from somewhere, but Imma need to read up on it properly after sleepingzzz.
we need more shows of very comfortable, very drunk famous people discussing matters of the day in the manner of after-dinner debate.