so basically, this is a thread about your worst traits...the thing you dislike most about your personality....(at this point, you might want to skip to the bottom and just write your worst trait, because this is a bit, tl;dr)
mine is the thing i've had in me since i was just a little nipper...my persecution complex and insistance on becoming an indignant little shit if anyone opposes me and i feel wronged...
like, when i was five, i kicked over my best friends wall in his font garden and his mum really, really told me off. and instead of saying sorry to her, i just got in a huff as if she was in the wrong for telling me off when i'd just laid out her wall. she hasn't forgotten this and often brings it up (with a certain ammount of fondness, mind) to show that i haven't changed much in 18 years.
and these three incidents have all come in quick succession.
i know the guardian has many, many flaws, but i genuinely still get quite excited for the friday edition with the film and music section. more often than not it dissapoints, but...y'know....something to look forward to reading over breakfast as you've just woken up, etc. anyway, the co-op near my house in essex ALWAYS fucking runs out of guardians really early.
so at about 10.30, i take what seems like the an endless five minute walk in the stupid heat to the co-op for my guardian. obviously they'd ran out. so i go to the nearest employee....some poor lad in his 20's who would rather be doing anything other than dealing with wankers who want their guardian...
'have you got any copies of the guardian left?'
'er...*looks over*, no we've run out'
'i know you have. you've always just ran out'
'well i don't think i've EVER seen a copy of the guardian in here'
'yeah we only get a few'
'well doesn't the fact that you always run out early show that you should think about your stock management.....
etc, etc, etc....
having spent that year at the garage, i knew exactly what that lad felt and how little he cared and how it probably wasn't his fault, but i just kept on talking.
2) friday evening
watching the national in brighton. it's the hottest i've ever been at a gig, and we weren't even stood near the front, we were at the mixing desk, and it was near the end of the set, so we were flagging slightly. my friend comes over to tell me who got kicked out of the bb house and we start yakking about it quite loudly during the new track (i think he said it was new, the sound was awful for speech. or not played much. whatever it was, i hadn't heard it before, so it clearly wasn't worthy of my full attention). the guy next to me gets annoyed and tells us to keep quiet...so i make a snarky comment back and then after that song, when everyone starts clapping i do an elaborate, sarcastic....'SSSHHH', to everyone around me, and he gives me a stare.
but then during the next track, i think....'BUT YOU FUCKING HATE PEOPLE TALKING AT GIGS YOU IDIOT', so when that finishes i apologise, and because i'm a bit tipsy, i give him a pat on the back and a handshake and i'm all, 'i can't believe i just became everything i despise, i'm really sorry', etc etc....and he starts laughing and accepts the apology and, buoyed by my apology, he makes an apology of his own for telling me to be quiet in such a curt way.
3)fifty minutes ago.
i get money for the bus from the cashpoint and get the minimum which is a tenner. i give the bus driver my note. look up jobsworth in the dictionary and you find this man.
'nope...no...no...can't take that...no change. can't take that. you'll have to get off and get change'
' but it's sunday service and i need this bus and i'll have to wait ages for the next one'
'nope...no...sorry....have to get off, no change'
so then i refuse to get off the bus and there is a ten minute stand off in which he stops the engine and threatens to call the police, so i say, 'fine call the police'....but he doesn't because it was a big fat bluff, and then this...
'you should always get change for the bus'
'well sometimes i do, but why should i always spend extra money on getting change from a shop buying something i don't need....you should have more fucking change'
now....i knew straight away that the swear was a mis-step. momma didn't bring up a boy that swears at strangers, and it felt wrong and incongrous the moment it left my lips...a bit like finding the words 'reticent' or 'self-effacing' in The Sun for a story about a clebrity trying not to have some pap get them with an upskirt shot. the general sentiment might be the same, but those specific words have no place here. but i think in my head, swearing during confrontation seemed like the done thing.
anyway, we're going nowhere, so in an attempt to draw battle lines, we both turn to the passengers. he turns to the people first....
'i can't let him on for free, and i don't have change'
'yeah but i'll have to wait ages for another bus'
one woman speaks.
'now....i really think it's unfair not to let him on...'
ha, yes....take that you bus driving prick
'...but i really don't like swearing. that's one thing i don't like'
fucking hell. i knew i shouldn't have sworn.
'yeah, i'm sorry...i apologise for swearing, that was wrong' (and it really was, that apology was sincere, i hated the fact that i'd said it)
'ok, that's fair enough then.'
HA. she's on team michael now. the lumpenproletariat have spoken and they have said, 'let the boy have his bus journey'. the driver sees he is up against it and starts to backtrack and be a bit more accommodating.
'ok, well has anyone got any change here'
that was a good idea, you have to give him that. but no one has any change. so we're back to the start. there aren't any open shops nearby i could go and get change from. it's over. so finally, i give in and guilt trip him.
'ok, cheers mate...thanks for ruining my day and making me wait an hour for the next one'
'but i haven't got any change'
'no....yeah, that's fine...thanks now...thanks very much...cheers *gives thumbs up*...cheers mate...a whole hour i'll have to wait in the heat for the next one...cheers pal..hope you're happy with yourself.'
so i get off the bus. and during those next two minutes in which i waited for the other number bus that also goes straight to my door, i was pleased to have shown the humble folk what it is to stand up against oppressive regimes and kick out against the pricks. i wouldn't be suprised if each one of those people follows my lead and starts their own mini revolutions this week.
erm...so....to sum up
a) ''tl:dr'', obviously. sorry this got so long, but it's a sunday and i'm a little hungover and i rambled.
b) ''i don't get what's with all the '...' ?'' dunno..me neither.
b) i'm an indignant little shit. what's your worst trait?