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nothing but burnished golden <3 for their actually-quite-profound light-relief double-act
I've had the analogy on the tip of my mind for a while, and now the gestation is over
Sean = Hamlet
Cronin = Polonius
KiK = Osric
This needless aggrandisement now weighs heavily on them as far as I'm concerned though, which is unfair of you.
Though I feel we're closer to the Sean Astin and Pauly Shore in ''California Man''
Or maybe the two ''hip hop dudes'' they encounter in the school corridors.
as wikipeida says....
Eddie (bumbler) and Richie (michael_w) are two crude, perverted lunatics, with no jobs [and] very little money...The two spend their time coming up with desperate schemes to "Do it" with a real woman, beating each other up, and getting into dodgy deals and scrapes with the law. Richie (michael_w) is a clumsy, pompous dimwit who attempts to make himself out as being much higher in social status than he actually is, and is both deranged and desperate; obsessed with sex, but—despite going to great lengths—never having it. eddie (bumbler), a cheerfully violent drunkard, meanwhile spends his time getting drunk and wasting the dole money, although he occasionally has moments of demented genius. Although the pair sometimes venture out (the most common location being the local pub), many of the episodes are set simply within the confines of the pair's squalid flat (essex hometown).''
''The idea for Bottom was spawned when, in 1991, Mayall and Edmondson co-starred in the West End production of Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot at the Queen's Theatre. Mayall and Edmondson have said Bottom was often intended to be a cruder cousin to plays like Waiting for Godot.''
Shame Bottom wasn't part of a wider nexus, unless we're counting all 90's sitcom as an ecosystem :D
may your antics never dim
+ a sort-of relationship.
I once dipped my taste buds in my managers pants then used that as currency fro the wank-bank from then on.
Also...''but less deep''.
:DD This becomes all too clear when looking at our bookshelves.
Sure...I've got the odd Perec, Pynchon etc....but mine mainly consists of Frasier transcripts and 2Pac biographies. Michael's, on the other hand, is a vast spectrum of scoffing text, literary tomes and decadent manuals.
Me? 2 litres of piss...I use an empty Coke bottle as a bed pan.
...and i have had more birds in our time, but you pip me in the looks department.
you've sprouted into a sexy young man in the lasy year or so, who could probably attract from affar, but my only real hope with the ladies is if i can talk them into the bedroom. mine is not a face for faceless dancefloor fumbles, i don't make sense until i'm allowed to talk. but alas, it rarely gets that far.
'excuse me young lady, i think you'll actually find me quite fascinating and funny if you'd just give me the chance to strike up some sort of conversa...no?...ok...no that's fine...ok bye'
only once in my life have i hooked a beauty across the purely aesthetic arena of the dancefloor, but i was 17 then, and much prettier.
I look like I could be quite good looking.....but I'm not actually there. Nor will I ever be.
...''Oooo, here's one....oh, actually....go back michelle, he's quite greasy up close.''
'i know, you couldn't see the flecks of spittle at the corner of his mouth from over there'
i'd only be attractive in the right context. like, if i was a poet, or an actor, or french, (or guy garvey) my grizzled face, supple paunch, pretentious glasses, rolled up shirt sleeves and slowly receeding hairline would work just fine
this works because he's 36 and a successful musician.
mine doesn't because i'm 23, from essex, with no real life accomplishments and spend a lot of time on an internet messageboard.
if i can just trick the world into becoming a writer or summit interesting, everything else will fall into place.
I'm not for the scenesters, I'm not for the tanning bed tit-gigglers, I'm not for the kohl eyed skating posse, I'm not for the nerds or the frumps....
.....I really don't know where to scout for girls who will like my bacon face.
...we've hi-jacked a thread that was started in our honour.
It's like Diana riding dinghies around her commemorative fountain. Or Mrs.Bunion doing snogging on her memorial bench.
we really are the most self-centred, tediously self-aware fucks in this joint. i'd say 90% of the shit we talks about is ourselves....how the fuck we weren't run out of town in the early stages of our time on here, i'll never know.
if i had to present a lifetime achievement award to Peter O'Toole for services to British acting, i'd spend most of it talking about how i once played St.George at school.
'the slaying of the dragon was quite the spectacle and an act that would echo around the walls of wyburns primary school for years to come...anyway, peter whasisface...come get your prize thing'
would wager your respective turns of phrase play a significant part in this, plus the fact you do entertainingly inane babble better than pretty much anyone else on DiS
now I am being so nice it is perhaps getting creepy and I wouldn't want to be seen as an internet groomer so I would like to pre-emptively refute all your accusations
it's like superglue for our porcelain egos.
in Shakespeare as in life, the Fools are always right in the end
i really would just like to get the girl in the end.
but for love and conversation and stuff. not spunking on. i really can't say strongly enough that i don't secretly desire to spunk all over all girls. cheers.
they've got the sense to separate their dramatic exposition with their love-lives, which is pretty sensible practice IMO
and dude, I'm the same - for the joy of sharing one's life with someone who fully knows you and whom you fully know, where knowledge is carnal, amorous, intellectual, instinctive and certain
that said if a girlfriend wants me to spunk on her, I'm not refusing - gusto is as much a part of love as unspoken comradeship
My best mate is a cinephile and has repeatedly recommended LA Confidential to me - I shall doubtless emulate you soon
''Here's to Richard O' Malley!''
''Actually, it's Peter O' Too...''
i do love you.
Think it would be best to end this here. I'm off to rinse the Sky Plus Planner. Night night. x
i've got tonights big bro and L.A confidential. lovely stuff.
you offer a little summit to all the ladies. you're like a nice cold can of Tiser...gals from all walks of life would take a sip.
i'm like bukkake...only appealing to a very small and specific demographic.
Well...you're all for that particular niche. Perhaps you could frisk your own follicled chest.
i just feel that an ejaculation scene is required within pronography because it acts as a close to the preceeding actions...otherwise it's just vague rutting with no sense of progression or narrative conclusion.
try watching casablanca without the final scene at the airport...that's how i feel when i watch 'california cum guzzlers #7' and don't get to see concluding mess on pretty american bodies.
either that or it's just some repressed need to revel in the subjugation of woman, with the act of ejaculation seen as the ultimate depiction of unbalanced power relations.
i hope not though. i bloody love girls. i'd hate it if i was a secret woman hater and i didn't even allow my own consciousness to realise it.
i really need to stop watching all pornography. even a few times a month is too much, i need to stop it completely.
....you claim to love women, but really you want to laminate them with your spermazoa and use them as a bookmark.
i act like i wouldn't be the sort to hurl a load from above but secretly desire it all the time, and i don't let them realise it till an explosion akin to the death of the stay puft marshmallow man is ready to envelop the whites of their eyes.
it's too fast to even have time to blink. they never stand a chance.
POW! RIGHT IN THE PEEPERS
and i'm probably more likely to walk into an unhappy marriage with a wife that i resent....always secretly dreaming of that trip to paris with an unspecified lithe young thing, where we take our spot above the soothing low hum of the city steets, our naked bodies wrapped in white sheets, bille holiday quietly spinning on the turntable, half a bottle of red set still on the side table....and i'll often think of that beautiful daydream as the wife asks me how my day at the office was, and if i want beans or peas or sweetcorn for dinner.
We would end up twisting ourselves into this self-referential tangle in my own lounge. It's a dynamic that's been cultivated over 16 fucking years...there's no need to start spitting your petulent, white-knuckled, journal scribbling bile all over it.
Yes. I can see how it could be tedious...but if you're not feeling it, hop over to another thread.
''I need to slap them back down to size now''...are you Dog The Bounty Hunter? No. You're a teenager trapped in an adults body.
I like to think you keep a running tally of which work and which don't, only allowing the former into your script for your pilot show.
If anything I think Bumbles and Mickey are the two constants of DiS. I never miss one of their threads and am never left unsatisfied by the end. Look at the cum socks thread - nothing but endless gold. They're also brimming with a heartwarmingly twisted sense of joie de vivre.
Nah, I've see a fair few Bumbler threads that haven't floated the comedy ideal. He's not afraid to stick stuff out there, which is good.
They act as a trigger for debate and/or anecdotal accounts of lost love and self pity.
I just chuck up something about staining your knuckles by fisting some arse...and, inevitably, it falls to the bottom of the pile.
Yeah..quite a few of mine have tumbled to the bottom of the barrel...but, you know...trial and error...
as my dear friend bob monkhouse used to say.
This kid, ay.
can we keep him?
Though...having said that...this frustrated little trollop does have a point. It's a trap we all fall into...in the same way that you play up to the cartoon brooding you're so renowned for.
Case in point: http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4261800#r5454167
Now who's being self-aware
''what a couple of cunts''
bless you child.
:DDD You may be right to a certain extent.
There is a slight imbalance...he's seen mine a million time, but I've never seen his.
We're not lovers, mate. We're male friends. I'm sure most people will agree that banter is a tent pole in this sort of relationship.
Seriously...what would you regard as ''meaningful''? We're not going to engage in an olive-oil smeared greco-roman clinch. How do you ''bond'' with your circle of fan-fiction groupies?
''I'm a big fan of a noble and mutually appreciated silence in real life. Nothing finer and more life-affirming than a good savoury waft of dead air passing between two men's lips.''
And I'm genuinely relieved that I don't live your graveyard lifestyle. Different strokes, I suppose.
There whould be an out-right ban on threads with any of our names in the title.
it means turned in on oneself and introspective....but the presence of that 't', gives it an air of ambiguity because it so clearly resembles 'idiot'
basically, we're introspective idiots.
Bit like when ali g interviewed posh and becks for comedy relief.
Probably the most offensive thing Jonathon Ross has every done.
"Jonathan Ross and contemporary comedy stars including Hugh Dennis, Angus Deayton and Alistair McGowan join forces to recreate material from Not Only... But Also, the landmark television comedy show created by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and which was largely wiped from the BBC archives. '
It's been mentioned...but we carry on as usual. Alot of the stuff I write on here is part of a one upmanship with Michael. It's the same competitive streak he had with my brother when they were friends...now that friendly feuding has been passed over to playing internet Battleships with me.
"YEAH! You're right! But you are sooooooooo louis theroux with his wry eye at the orgy"
anyway guys seriously...
If we were in Friends, who would be who? I reckon i'd be Joey cos I occasionally have the odd blonde moment!!!!!!!
I'd be participatin' like it was Fuckmas
i mean i wouldn't like to see IT but i'd like to see the situation
hed be all 'oh so what is it about orgies that attracts you so much' and the guys would just be like "TAKE IT YOU SLUT" and louis would just sit there in silence and look it him until the guys eventually said '... well i guess my dad always objected to any kind of sex except marital... faith played a big part in our household'
he smiles into the very earthen base of your deviant soul
...but you do realise there's an episode of Weird Weekends where he's actually at an orgy?
You've never really been at an orgy until you know what at least 5 other guys willies look like but not their second names.
If all we're going to get is snarky comments after every bit of informal jestering, I can't be bothered with it.
because we have to take the negative comments with the positive. you can't just throw the toys out as soon as someone says we're being boring or self-indulgent (although, the point you're making is that we've always been aware of that and embraced it)
but that said, i think, be it positive or negative comments, serious or larks, we do need to stop the over-analysis in this thread now.
sometimes it's fine and funny, like last night when we were bouyed by the high humidity and the early hour and (speaking for myself) two pints of pimm's, cracking wise at our own sickly self-awareness....but in the cold light of day, i'm becoming as bored of myself as i'm sure everyone else is of me.
let's nip this in the bud and all move over to a thread about where the best place to live in london is or summit.
Gonna go with Local Hero
Self awareness on your self awareness.
i'm like a met..
ARRGHHH...I'M DOING IT AGAIN....!!
its a comedy. its about a man who meets a parallel version of himself in a doctors waiting room and has nothing to say.
my friend knows some student theatre company so hopefully i can do it then just pass it over to them
My other idea was to do a one act play about Ant and Dec splitting up as a duo and dec going on to be more succesful while ant remains bitter. The set would be like a tv studio and the actor playing Ant would sit in the audience and heckle Dec and eventually Dec would realise who it is. Then there'd be a big dialogue where they set things straight between them but not before the lighting rig falls on Ant and kills him. Then Dec kills himself.
I wonder how many last minute and slap dash appearances gazza will be making in this years free fringe?
gazza is ripe for dramatic depiction.
i'd juxtapose the renewed interest in his finest moment (all the recent world cup documentries) with the moment that he tried to go fishing with a murdering fugative...piquant as hell.
what a story.
man 1: walks into waiting room and sits down
man 2: walks in and sits next to him
man 2: "what are you in for?"
man 1: "thats a bit of a personal question"
man 2: "yeah I know"
man 1: "well i'm not telling you"
man 2: "oh well it doesn't matter anyway because I am you"
man 1: "really?"
man 2: "Yeah"
man 1: "oh right"
ideally the actors would be peter cook and dudley moore circa 40 years ago and there'd be a bit where it would go
cook: so what do you do then?
moore: i'm a writer. i'm writing a play about a dinner party at samuel beckett's house. the guests are elvis presley, brecht, ionesco and the marx brothers
cook: thats a bit postmodern isnt it
[they both look at the audience]
moore: not really.
cook: oh right
so that reviews would have to write 'i hated every play thats ever been done ever'.
it would be a meta-satire on student theatre and would be subtitled 'an epic quest for meaning in 2009'