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...not how I wanted to spend a Thursday evening.
Replace Grandad with Father and I've been there also my friend.
Or: cum in his eye and he'll think his cataracts are playing up again
he kept it in a drawer with all of his clean socks.
Oddly enough...when telling people this for laughs...I gave it my Auntie's name (Valerie)
She hasn't got time to go to Billericay (where he lives) and to hospital (where she also works) in the morning...so if he stays here, it's easier for her.
I've given up my bed because he's 84. I have to sleep on the sofa.
...he can get the fuck out.
i've never done this.
Man-size kleenex were invented to be spunked upon
I guess people who spunk onto clothing and then stash it are those people who cling onto everything
i just get it all on my body and wash it off.
right....i'm gonna go and make another thread wondering why i haven't got a girlfriend.
the lack of response was starting to make me think that nothing was taboo anymore.
you're right to take offense at my matted pubic thatch.
but then abandoned them
My post-masturbatory guilt is enough
I'll let some embittered ex tell the internet about that.
then put it back in the drawer.
Yes. A tissue would be easier.
mummy doesn't wonder why there is only one pair of pants in the cycle?
The odd semen stained garment may make it's way into the parent pile
'erm....snails mum. i've made friends with some snails that sleep in the crotch of my pants. that's what that is.'
''The Ghostbusters have been in''
'sorry son...it's those vicar of dibley videos you have...i couldn't help myself'
'jesus... ok, well give it here and i'll put it with mine'
*passes cum sock*
'WHAT!...grandad, you cum on the INSIDE of the sock'
'sorry son. you won't tell your mother will you? you know she worries about me'
'good lad. night then.'
so that it collects the jism, instead of letting it go flying all over the place; like a clothy condom. I'm surprised that I could be further baffled by a spunk sponge.
do you put three fingers in and make a little entrance?
I just use it as a mopping aid.
A drawer of socks is the nearest thing to me.
more surface area....probably a smoother texture
do you use the sock as a catching aid? or just to mop up what you've just jizzed on your body?
makes you wonder
this makes me think he definitly uses the socks as cotton condoms
^ does wiered things with socks
You cum on your stomach and leave it,
...which means there's still that short walk down the hall with cum on your belly.
At least I dont risk giving my Mum an eyeful of cum-belly.
i can save it for when i have the house to myself and a trip to the bathroom with a shiny thigh will bring no harm.
you cum IN the sock, that's the whole point, no mess
im far too hairy to take a load on my stomach, be picking it out for weeks
But I supposed you'd cannon your seed into the sock opening.
At this point, it would be a free for all. Cums ahoy!
you know that
Soemtimes he's completely incomprehensible.
Just one of the many things wrong with this sentence
Tissues for the win and then dispose of those muthafuckas in an jiffy.
who the hell are you posting them to?
Just to see how far it will go.I clean up afterwards of course either that or get the dog in to lick it up.
Actually, both mine are dead :(
would read again
and actually quite endearing sometimes.
they're almost advertised as wank rags now that i think about it.
get me a twitter account/guest spot on hignfy, 8 out of ten cats, all those other shit things with shit people, etc etc...
but it IS a tissue aimed specifically at men
They're so anti-woman in a somewhat acceptable way. Kind of like gentlemen's clubs.
we're revelling in our inability to find a woman by talking about how the only way we can find sexual gratification is through a soggy sock.....this is the most pro-woman thread i've ever read...
More anti-woman as in it's something that women can't get personally involved in and I can imagine them standing off to the side - some of them looking agog, others politely smiling along and hoping it'll be over soon - while all us men delve in for an overshare. It's the best kind of anti-woman because it's completely accidental.
michael_w you are an alchemist
that we don't have any need for gross sock moppage. HA HA.
i'd just like to say that my faveourite bits of the thread were
a) kansas and 'vienna'
b) me when i wrote...
'sorry son. you won't tell your mother will you? you know she worries about me'....
:D i laugh everytime i read that. well done me.
has just become the OED definition of TMI.
see also: Wank Week
I wonder if he has to warm up first or if he can tuck right in
a younger, wilder Steve Albini would have stuck that on the front of an album
O spare time, how thou art abused
what a machine
He loves the tasty treat.
Jesus wept (a milky tear...)
we're still not sure if these guys are wanking INTO them, ON them, or just using them as a fancy tissue
i'm not bothered
this is funny because i know liam's mum so i can picture stiive shouting.....'KAREEEEEEN', everytime he needs his belly mopped with a sock.
I, with my lazy misogyny and cum-starched discussion topics, am the Ben Dover of these boards
Different classes, ay.
tissues are much more efficient and cleaner, and there is always the excuse of colds in the winter and hayfever in the summer
It's seedy, whether you decided to dress it up or not. You may as well spray the hog on this one and be as grubby as you possibly can.
is a slippery one
Seedy doesn't mean ''inhumane''
Shitting is natural...but it's still quite dirty.
I fail to understand the seediness of wanking
At least you know there will be a good outCUM
i get set up around 11pm after the parents have headed to bed, onto one of the plethora of free internet sites, wireless headphones on (freedom of movement), get the aloe vera baby oil out and drip it generously on my member then set to work.
When im fit to burst i walk into the bathroom, stand on my tip toes at the edge of the sink and let rip, it almost doubles you over with pleasure this method, 8 or 9 solid squirts at times
Turn the tap on, wash the goo down the sink, no problems
If I do, I don't use porn sites. I need naturalism, and that's easier to imagine in my own noggin.
Why you do you touch your dick with a piece of material that usually touches your foot?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
why is it seedy?
Do you use the same one all the time or a different one each time? Wouldn't it get all crusty? Have you ever filled one up?
ohhh why am I asking these questions? I need to get on with my work but can only think of socks.