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my only contribution to this is that rooney would make a good rugby player, though I was imagining him in a kind of 'michael jordan in Space Jam' kind of scenario.
as he tells his son ("Darren") 'maybe next time son... maybe next time'. Then Darren's mum takes him home for fish fingers and chips whilst his dad stays in the pub for the rest of the day talking about how 'they're all nazi bastards'.
'none of the scotland team could even get a game in the premier league anyway'