because i think the measure of doing something REALLY good, is if it brings a little pain on yourself to do it..
anyway....i was walking along with the bread and milk and paper, listening to my headphones and finally understanding 'in an aeroplane...' after however many years..
then, an old chap that looks like he should be delivering bread in 1941 (lot of tweed, flat cap, trousers tucked into big grey socks etc etc), stops his push bike and gets my attention
'great' i think....another person after my sweet ass that i'm going to have to let down gently.
anyway...just as i was about to say, 'i don't want to suck your old willy...' he motioned to the grass verge and all the rubbish strewn across it.
'disgusting isn't it?'
'yes it is' i said.
he started to get off his bike to pick it up, so i joined him
'don't you stop lad'
'no come on, if you're going to pick some up, i'll pick some up with you'
so we did....we wombled away, picking up sticky bottles of lucosade and vodka....and then i carried on to take it to the recycling bin at my house.
and all that made me think....'gosh, aren't i a bloody good chap to stand in the heat and pick up disgusting rubbish with an old rent boy'.
but if it made me feel quite happy about the world, so that's not really a good deed is it? doing good should bring you pain or discomfort or disruption, but you carry on regardless...which all sounds quite biblical, but i think it might be true.
like...if i stopped and picked up rubbish as i was rushing home to catch the start of the england match, and it made me miss the first ten minutes which really annoyed me...THAT would be a good deed. but this had no impact on my day at all.