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Do you like beer, birds, footie and motors?
"Did a sky dive, copped a feel of the hot female instructors left breast whilst falling to the ground at 120mph... Lad" Essex, UK.
"Put on Loose Women thinking I'd get an eyeful of some tidy snatch. When I realised what it was I cracked one out anyway." LAD, UK
unlike the girl in this story I didn't see it coming.
in the west we have basically abandoned the notion of taboo, and are rolling towards somekind of final sodomy armageddon.
Final Sodomy Armageddon is a hit-selling Japanese Manga.
but assuming that birds mean girls and not those things what have wings and stuff then by not being gay do I automatically qualify? I'm not the type of character that indulges in laddish behaviour often directed at the opposite sex but (for clarification) I'm not gay so obviously I do like them.
Obvious DiS User: 327
Good Lad: 39 Shit Lad: 857
This thread is pretty hilarious
"Pulled a bird at a club, turns out to be a Geordie. Went back to my flat where I was ramming her stupid up against my Jermaine Beckford poster and then when I came, out of politeness I pulled out and shouted "Shearer!" running round the room with my hand in the air doing the Alan Shearer celebration. LAD"
"Am currently sat in a volcano in Iceland chain smoking millions of fags because my mate dared me a crate of Stella that I couldn't ground every plane in the World for 24 hours. NaturaLAD disaster
"Went back with some bird after a massive drinking sesh, ending with all you can drink at the last club. got to hers, she left her room for about 5 mins, and i was sick on her floor....cleaned up a little then covered it with some of her clothes. banged her, left first thing in the morning after having a morning wank in her bed! LAD"
Good Lad: 29 Shit Lad: 5
Good Lad: 1265 Shit Lad: 40
This one read in Danish accent: "Have to be with girlfriend for date but while wait for her at her house her mum start being attracted to me. she give me blowjob on sofa and then girlfriend come down and we go out. LAD"
"Mate of mine at a foam party was well and truly on it. In the bubbly mist of the washing up liquid he fingered three unknown girls. Later on he sees his sister in the club. Praying, praying that she wasn't one of them. LAD"
Good Lad: 60
Shit Lad: 4
Finally pulled this girl on a night that I've been eyeing up for a while. Went back to her student house and shagged her really tenderly. Woke up in the morning needing a poo, so laid a log in her toilet. One of those massive, slimy, alcohol poos. Usually no bother they flush like a dream. The flush didn't work. Try five times to flush it but no luck. Can't leave it in there so grab this carrier bag and pull it out, tie up the bag. Have to leave with this shit in the bag, but thought can't leave without saying goodbye, so go to her kitchen and write her a note. Get back to mine all pleased with myself until I realise that I have no bag. I left it on her kitchen counter next to her toaster. See her two weeks later and she ran away. LAD
"Going on a lads holiday and some bint at the airport said my suitcase was 5kg too heavy. Opened it in front of her, put on 5kg worth of jumpers, jackets e.t.c and handed it back. LAD"
It's like Brave New World: Body Fluids Edition
What kind of lad takes 5 kilograms of clothing on holiday? I don't think I even own 5KG of clothes.
Me and my flatmates had a house party. Towards the end of the night I noticed that nobody had the stones to pump a particularly fat bird, so I went up to her and said “You’re well game aren’t you” (LAD) She shrugged so I went and pumped without a jonny becuse jonny’s are for pussys. Anyway I got thrush from her. 3 months later we had another party and once again nobody was showing the required plums to shag this girl who had turned up again. So I did again... without a jonny again. But in a moment of genius I decided to shove it up her chutney so I wouldn’t get thrush again (LAD). It took me 16 mins to get it in her because I didn’t use lube which is for gays. I came in 6 seconds when I did get it in her, and got thrush again. LAD
Scored a goal against my former team and ran the length of the pitch to celebrate in front of their fans. LADebayor.
Came on a girl's forehead. Put my thumb across and moaned "SIMBA". LAD
"My laptop wasn't working this morning so i wanked over the females running the marathon. LAD"