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"Well, I'd definitely have sex with Ryan!"
I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.
Ryan: Any questions?
Kelly: Yes, How dare you?
When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Scheider.
I made more money as a leader... but had more fun as a follower.
I remember it was very late at night, like 11, 11.30. Big fella comes in screaming about God knows what; I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute grabs a can of hair spray and a lighter...
I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s I made love to many, many women – often outdoors in the mud and the rain – and it’s possible that a man slipped in. There’d be no way of knowing...
One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
Once I've found out where Mose has hidden all the wires I'll get that power back on..
just so you know, you can't just say the word bankrupcy and expect anything to change
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
the last person to do this disappeared, His name: Creed Branton
american offfice is it?
I have no clue what this thread is about, I just wanted to add that.
At Sabre, you will
...by whacking moles.
Dwight: Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you.
Ryan: I don't think you know what you're saying.
... the crow.
Fleece it out
They show a little clip of Bob Vance sitting on a fork lift truck, smoking a cigar and laughing.
I ended up watching six back-to-back.
BEST DECISION I MADE ALL WEEK!
"Just imagine, the temp agency could have sent you anywhere."
"I think about that everyday."
Obama is President! You're black!
Listen...you’re cute, there’s no getting around it. So I don’t know if you like country music but I was thinking one of these days we could we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos, maybe even toss a disc around...at-whay o-day ou-yay ink-thay m-pay?
I took a botany class in college and in the class I would eavesdrop on people by standing behind different plants. They'd say 'what is this guy doing? He's going to fail this class because all he does is hide behind plants.' And then I'd jump out and confront them like 'oh so you think all I do is spy on people behind plants, huh? BUSTED!'
I'm going to be Cupid, and I'm going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims and they're going to get hit and say, 'I'm in love! I was hit by Cupid's sparrow! Funny little bird but he gets the job done
Why are you so mean to me?
Without any of the consequences.
my friday night sorted.
The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hands, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire.
Unfortunately, I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.
Because they go with the carpet..
(Also in the background, banner reading 'IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.')
and it HAS to be urine.
and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice
... you know, as that was coming out of my mouth I knew that it was wrong.
i win ! i win !
She got hit by a car, the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best they could and... she is going to be ok.
I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
Uh, none. You're picking a healthcare plan.
You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man and you're... you. If you had any friends, you would understand. Friends joke with one another. "Hey, um, you're poor." "Well hey, your mom is dead." That's what friends do. It's... you're so white.
Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
We usually marry standing in our own graves. Makes the funerals very romantic, but the weddings are a bleak affair.