Your are viewing a read-only archive of the old DiS boards. Please hit the Community button above to engage with the DiS !
I can manage about 20 keep ups on a good day.
Probably the most useful is quickly rolling the ball laterally whilst at speed.
Sometimes without falling over too
I'm proud of that. Also ten kick ups in a row. Wicked.
has an annoying habit of thinking that pointing at a player means that he's marking them.
timing passes so that they nutmeg my opponent while he is running.
Unfortunately this usually means that the recipient of my pass doesn't expect to receive the ball and the whole move breaks down.
is my first touch - I can pass okay, wank as a striker, but i have a really quick control for some reason. I'm like 1/5th of a good footballer.
sometimes, depends if the sun is in my eyes
"PUSH OUT!" after they clear a corner.
they rarely listen
outside of my foot passing/shooting
selling a pass/play but doing something else.
the last one is... like looking to the right but playing it left.
Thom Yorke can also 'sell a play' pretty well, for instance.
Not proud of it, but toe bungs/toe pokes (what do other people call this?) are the funniest thing ever. More toe bunging in the Premiership pls.
I used to be the absolute master of sticking my arm across someone's chest, or chipping away at them with niggling little fouls and getting away with it. In a match, that's far better than being able to do fancy twists and turns and keep-ups. You can't beat me with the drop of a shoulder if I'm going to play the man anyway.
punch them in that particular shoulder
but i'm pretty shit at actual football.
That's about 95% of my game. Running.
even if you didn't have one.
i'd just have to pull out of the race after 200 metres.
the ball really hard at people's legs from point blank range.
Making blinding full length saves from point blank range.
Anything really. So long as its from point blank range.
but not my right foot. Even though I'm naturally right footed. Weird.
And standing there.
ive got a very accurate long distance pass/cross, andso free kicks (although i can't get much bend on them)
I'm quality at them because I worshipped Beckham when I was a wee nipper, so practised accuracy constantly. All my other skills I generally lose/get rusty at based on the passage of time, but my accuracy has become instinctive now.
I have a crooked right leg which now means I cannot play football anymore, but it sure helped me get amazing precision with the long ones.
Another skill of mine is fighting with my team mates. You know the story, there is always one utter fucking prick in every team who thinks he's the dogs bollocks and fucks it up for everyone else. This guy i refer to was my centre back partner always going up field leaving us open.
I gave him a mouthful for it, he punched me, so I punched him, then our own team mates pulled us apart, he fucked off and I finished the game.
"working for team spirit since....." :-D
because of Osgood Schlattar's disease (whatever you call it) :(. Now I can manage one or two kickabouts every couple of months.
Yeah, usually it's goalies who get really mouthy, start ordering you into position and telling you when to pass it, where to pass it, how to pass it, etc. Take the game too seriously.
and the ability to hussle defenders and capitalise on their mistakes to poach goals
...which often bamboozles my teammates as well as the opposition. Also fairly handy at nutmegs, mainly as I am too lazy to try and run around people.
But the ball has to be stationary. So pretty pointless really.
Erm, other than that.. I'm pretty solid with my defensive positioning. Thats a skill right?
but only with my right foot, as soon as the ball touches my left foot it goes straight over the fence.
pretty consistently good overhead kicks with power and accuracy. I rule at beach football.
about 200-300 keepy-ups on a good day (including some of the following tricks)
cheeky cross legs and kick it up with my heel whilst standing on the other leg.
catch the ball between foot and calf of other leg mid keepy up, then roll it up my leg and flick it back over my shoulder.
with the right ball I could probably do about 30/40 header keepy ups too.
The cryff turn. badly.
I've never been able to that one where you flick you foot round the ball mid keepy up....impossible.
Thats it I think.
that is all.
On a similar tip, accurate free-kicks.
And I can pick a high floating ball out the air, and control it with one deft touch, Rooney-style.
I think we've got a Champions League winning side hiding away amongst the woodwork on DiS...
that 99% of the people posting in this thread have never dared to turn up for our regular DiS Football matches.
And for the future, I'm not sure if it's over the top to spend an hour and a half on the train to then spend an hour and a half playing football...
and you get to spend a few hours in the pub with us as well.
Can get to London for a fiver, so money isn't an issue.
The claims of footballing greatness have diminished since then...
flick the ball up in numerous ways
catch the ball between my knees
trap the ball in my shorts
walk along floor trying to (pretending to) pick ball up but kicking it away as i go down to get it
*shout "for fuck's sake"
On the same day I also score an own goal. Meaning I've essentially amounted to nothing.
but at school, I was really brilliant at looking like I was deeply involved without actually doing anything.
who did these spectacularly bad overhead kicks. It wasn't his fault they were so terrible as he had a bad back, but the fact he even attempted them can very much be laid on his door step.
One day he tried one, which involved basically standing on the spot, hooking the ball behind him and then gently falling over.
He mistimed it and broke his nose.
THAT is a skill.
(L2 + Triangle)
Some of the girls came along to footie practice. One of them was actually almost alright. Then I gave her an unforgiving shin tackle and scored from it. She left the field in tears. That's my proudest football achievement to date.
alright passing range.
Accidental Cruyff turns
This thing I've called 'the Nicholson' whereby in a 1-on-1 situation, one rolls the right foot across the ball and immediately nutmegs the keeper with the left foot
Other than these things I am crap and slow and knackered easily