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family see something on telly, try to do it themselves find out tv made it look better than reality
"We battled on. I watched in disbelief one day as a tractor rolled past the house, spraying muck over my newly cleaned windows."
"Our eldest son, then 14, wanted to go out in the city, and we had been repeatedly regaled with horror stories about stabbings and date-rape."
"inspired by visions of Cider With Rosie and The Darling Buds of May"
there were no facilities for children. There was a playground behind the village hall, but no one dared to venture there because the grass was overgrown
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
HOW TINY ARE THESE CHILDREN?
Don't know how/where to live my life. Where can I take cues from... maybe two TV shows... from the past... that were set even further in the past. Sorted.
They seem to explain their plight succinctly here:
"We had to face up to the fact that we hadn't done our research, and we had grossly underestimated the effect the change would have on us."
but it's easy to be seduced by what we see on television - the rise in popularity of programmes such as Countryfile and SpringWatch,
^ actual name of a japanes band.
the kettles going cold.
(I genuinely assumed meths was going mad. He's the sort of guy who lowers expectations like that.)
fucking idiots exist.
We wanted to do up a shitty old house but the house we got was too old and shitty.
Sums up exactly what is wrong with all those HONEST HARD WORKING KNIFE CRIME CHURCHILL WOULD BE ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE BRITS.
"When the Aga gave up the ghost, I smiled bravely when I was told it would be at least two weeks before someone could come out to mend it."
and discovered it wasnt a country made entirely of an assault course though?
but a little less hassle"
• Hold the sauce! She's the pouting 6ft ex-model trying to dethrone Nigella. But Jan Moir finds Sophie Dahl's new TV show hard to swallow
• Daddy, will you try to save my sister first? A father's hauntingly moving account of battling to rescue his twins from drowning - and how his son was ready to sacrifice his own life for his beautiful sister
• AMANDA PLATELL: Operation SamCam is PR magic - but I dearly hope she never regrets her move into the limelight
• TV shows sold us a dream of rural life. The crime-ridden reality very nearly killed our marriage
• ALLISON PEARSON: Warning: Just don't dare to be middle class
• Pill to end period pain: Drug that brings relief for millions of sufferers could be available by 2010
• Operation Dignity: From a top designer, the hospital gown that leaves you less exposed
• Shoes and jewellery owned by Thirties style icon Wallis Simpson expected to fetch £250,000 at auction
Kym Marsh forced to abandon rescue puppy Oliver after he fails to bond with her 'grumpy' chihuahua
I want to send them some money.
So, let's have a little peek at some of these books...
'Making Hay' by Veronica Henry
Welcome to Honeycote. Beware of the wild life. Suzanna and Barney Blake are swapping city life for the countryside – determined to breathe new life into the Honeycote Arms and a marriage touched by tragedy. Newly divorced Ginny Tait arrives in Honeycote at around the same time – with very nubile twin daughters and an awful lot of baggage. If the newcomers expected to find a sleepy English village, they quickly discover that a whole host of colourful characters have long woken up to more interesting ways of using the bedroom. Throw in a dodgy businessman with a secret past, and Honeycote is soon a veritable hotbed of passiuon and intrigue. Will Ginny be blinded by choice and go for Mr Wrong again? Will Suzanna and Barney find happiness in Honeycote? And if they do, will it be with each other? An intoxicating blend of true love and hidden agendas, Making Hay proves once and for all that village life doesn’t necessarily mean the quiet life …
published in 2003, and they moved to the country in 2006
she was disappointed by reality
The first lesson of Saucy Middle England Novels 101.
"very nubile twin daughters"
"I came to terms with the lack of same-day dry-cleaning, and the limitations of the two independent clothes 'boutiques', trying to forget that Harvey Nichols had once been only a 20-minute drive away."
What a fucking cunt.
Waterstones will soon be graced with a terrific new novel which is basically this article spread over 380 pages. Then some fat tongued simpleton can recommend it on Channel 4's Book Club and we can all read it over peoples' shoulders on the tube.
Is the woman from the article.
This muppet http://twitter.com/Ilana is also a writer for the same publisher, tweets:
@SaturdayGirl Love the piece this morning - and the photos! You look gorgeous! Don't let the Daily Mail readers get you down x
but if people were to tweet about her being a twat with the hashtag thing would it come up on her feed or do you need to be pals?
@SaturdayGirl YOU'RE A COCK YOU'RE A COCK YOU'RE A COCK
...there's not much expansion on the "crime-ridden reality" of country life is there. Unless untaxed cars is as bad as it gets.
so i guess she's never vanity-googled
...what happened to the huge long thread?
cool. i can go back to work now
My ex met this girl when she started a Uni course in Leeds (where she's from) and figured they would be friends until about a month later when said girl told her she wasn't "London enough" really to be hanging out with her. Sounds like an embryonic version of this cunt.
Shoreditch should technically be the nearest place for me to go out and whatnot but shit like this makes me steer well clear.
Eastenders Star Lacey Turner buys a chair
There is a heated debate on the comment board:
Sorry to be picky Toony, how do you know its a 320, i dont see a rear picture showing the exhaust system set up? It could be a 318, 325 or a 330, how are you so sure its a 320? My friend has a similiar model with red leather and those alloys and its a 325. So next time dont be so cocky about someones else mistake when youve also made a mistake! And its a nice car, maybe not special to you, but a pride and joy to others, not everybody is as arrogant and clever as you Mr Know it all.
- Spencer, Surrey, 24/3/2010 13:40
"Not a pretty girl at all, she looks like a cross between a beaver and a weasle."
was to watch tv? uhhhhh