Last night I came home with probs the dryest eyes I've ever been in, and requested a donation of tears from my housemates.

I don't think it was too much to ask either. When they talked about it earlier, torrid tales of sadness were exchanged and eyes were scrunched up. All I've been able to get is the odd snivel from one or more of them.

I've tried the old "onions under the eyes trick" but it failed. I've tried repetitive poking in the eye and suchlike and got nowhere. I need some new tactics. Help.