i don't normally do these, so expect it to be rubbish

EUROPA LEAGUE. pretty miserable night for english clubs in this, liverpool losing 1-0 eden hazard goal against lille, and fulham losing 3-1 at juventus. on the plus side, dickson etuhu will be able to tell his grandkids he scored against juventus at the stadio olimpico. i didn't see either match, though i did see the first 30 minutes of hamburg - anderlecht before heading out. itv commentary mentioned ruud van nistelrooy every single sodding minute. other interesting scores...well, there weren't any. standard liege pretty much through after winning 3-1 at panathanaikos? that counts as a bit of a shock i guess?

TRANSFER RUMOURS. real madrid want rooney because obviously this new galactico thing is working SO WELL already. they also want benitez, because florentino perez loves attacking football.

chelsea want Danny, although it's not recorded which danny. i think they want Danny Coyne. in more chelsea news, someone called Didier Drogba is voted african footballer of the year. i've not heard of him. have you heard of him

everton want a billionaire, and so do i.

WEEKEND MATCHES. none of the premier league matches look grab-you-by-the-balls amazing, so there'll probably be an average of 5 goals per game. in the championship, boro - newcastle and preston - forest look like the highlights, which ipswich - scunthorpe being a meaty relegation zone clash. wednesday are away at swansea. we're going to get tanked

in scotland, um, people carry on talking with a scottish accent. i'll level with you, i don't really have any interest in the spl most seasons, let alone this one.

i've probably missed a load of stuff so, yeah, say more relevant things here