Did anyone see the humanoid Tiger Woods try and find the emoticon to express his remorse at the many, many beautiful ladies he's thrown a bone to?
Luckily, his Boodizum will make him a better person, and he's ever so ever so grateful to the sponsors who have stuck with him, and oh so sorry to the sponsors he had to part ways with. And his wife too or some shit.
It's a good job Sky Sports News didn't invest it with a level of gravitas more suited to the announcement of the death of a head of state, eh? I particularly like the trail before they went to the adverts, as soon as the press conference finished, saying "we'll show you that press conference after the break". Because we may have somehow missed some of the subtleties of the previous 14 minutes?