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i'm a big lady chatterly fan, so these are right up my street.

i love love...i love flith. put them together? bingo.

'Perhaps the horn I had was not big enough for you for I remember that you bent down to me face and murmured tenderly "Fuck up, love! Fuck up, love!" '

i love that phrase...'fuck up, love'...sexy, playful, beautiful, tender if said in a whisper.

these are brilliant.

I love the thought of Phil Scofield asking "Okay, now Nora, does James' love for you allow him to:
a) pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes
OR
b) fling you down under him on that softy belly of yours and fuck you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse?"

but seem to remember him using the word "farty" a few times. He was well into his wife farting during sex.

"Darling, darling, tonight I have such a wild lust for your body that if you were here beside me and even if you told me with your lips that half the redheaded louts in the county Galway had had a fuck at you before me I would still rush at you with desire."

Well funny when he realises he might have gone too far and starts furiously backtracking:

"No letter! Now I am sure my girlie is offended at my filthy words. Are you offended, dear, as what I said about your drawers? That is all nonsense, darling. I know they are spotless as your hearth. It is all nonsense, too, dear, about buggering you. "

And then he goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like;
"Darling, I came off just now in my trousers so that I am utterly played out. I cannot go to the G.P.O. though I have three letters to post."

:D

BETTER THAN ULYSSES

"James Joyce lives in Trieste (Italy) with his family. End of October, he leaves alone for Dublin on a business trip, and stays there until the end of December. He makes a pact with his wife to write to each other erotic letters. The letters of his wife disappeared..."

-----

*were ruined.

...or maybe they were even worse?

I may have a whack at writing similarly filthy whimsy in a similarly literary vein.

I am happy now, because my little whore tells me she wants me to roger her arseways and wants me to fuck her mouth and wants to unbutton me and pull out my mickey and suck it off like a teat. More and dirtier than this she wants to do, my little naked fucker, my naughty wriggling little frigger, my sweet dirty little farter.

It's unfiltered adoration and humanity. No safeguard. No maudlin sentiments. Just pure caveman devotion.

presumably

There was a list of famous kinks and JJ was in there for being a fart fetishist. How do you even prepare for that? As soon as you feel the horn, go put on a saucepan of broccoli?

'HONEY! DADDY HORNY. COME EAT THIS BURRITO'

"You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole."

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vVC1Gsxek3s/Sjcey6DCnmI/AAAAAAAABI4/w24QK39wyNM/s400/James_Joyce.jpg

hmm. looks like a bit of a deviant. takes some of the shine off really. i think if he's gonna spout this level of filth, i'd rather he looked like Denis Menochet

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTY3OTk4MjM4N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjE0NzUwMg@@._V1._SX600_SY400_.jpg

now that's a face that could get away with the filthiest of filths