where the fuck do you go every other hour? I mean sure, we all have a lunch break - although you take 30 minutes longer than anyone else to get back - but not a lunch half-day. Whenever I look up from my desk you're not there, but the other members of the team very much are, and look overworked. It's because they're doing your fucking work!!!
Do you have any idea how much your laziness slows the company down? We all hit our exact targets, you don't. Sure, we chill out inbetween our crazyness, but it's because we know we're on schedule. Or rather, would be, if not for covering your lack of work!!
Oh, and I thought you were supposed to be engaged - do you think the girls like that you're a borderline stalkopervert. Just in case you do: they don't. FFS man, find yourself some dignity.
AND STOP WEARING THAT FUCKING HAT.