With Didier Drogba and Jermaine Defoe out the of the press for five minutes, Carlos Tevez is crowned the PL's best forward by the tabloids, at least until this weekend when someone else scores a few. In fairness, he is a cracking player and was wonderful in last night's 4-1 City victory over Blackburn.

Ivory Coast battered Burkina Faso, who deserved their draw purely for having one of the funnest country names to say aloud, and Malawi beat Algeria 3-0. Which, if you follow African football, is apparently quite a shock.

More is made of Manchester United's clearly imminent decline, both financial and footballing, and Hicks Jr steps down from whatever stupid position it was he had at Liverpool. Assistant Head of Raping Shankly's Ghost, or something like that.

Loadsa transfer rumours. I find the ones about Joe Cole kicking up a contract fuss at Chelsea unlikely, but if he is demanding a raise on his £80k a week, he best get his form back pronto.