Mine is probably a health scare, due to my flatmate not doing any of the following in the last three weeks:

taking the rubbish out
doing the washing up
opening the fridge
opening the windows
putting the heating/hot water on
mopping/sweeping/hoovering
checking mousetraps
etcetcetc.

What's the best way of getting cigarette smoke smell out of furnishings? And beer stains out of the carpets? And mould off the shower (bleach, yeah)? And any general cleaning tips that will make my flat a lovely place to live, please. Or at least habitable.