"Hello, is that Sam Raimi's office?"
"Hi, long-time viewer, first time caller. Could I speak to Mr Raimi, please?"
"Hi, Mr Raimi. Long time viewer, first time caller. I'm a big fan."
"Thanks. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I recently saw 'Drag Me To Hell', your recent foray into the pulp horror genre."
"Well, I have to ask, why don't you slum it like this more often?"
"This is easily your best film since Evil Dead breathed it's last rotten breath. I love everything. Even Justin Long."
"Even Justin Long?"
"Oh. Well, thanks, I guess."
"No, no, Mr Raimi, thank YOU. I laughed, I jumped, I laughed some more. Also, your lead actress is both believable and hilarious. I wanted to spend more time with these characters in this world once the credits started to roll."
"That sounds like psychosis."
"I'll make the statements, Mr Raimi. Can I ask why you wasted so much time trying to make Tobey Maguire not look like the creepiest talking plank of wood in existence when you had this nasty, witty baby fermenting in your imagination for ten years?"
"You want the truth?"
"I think you owe it to me."
"Money, baby. Sweet lady green."
"I understand, Mr Raimi. But now that you presumably have the cash and the status to follow your instincts, may we see more of the horror/comedy you do better than probably anyone else?"
"Didn't you like Venom in Spidey 3?"
"Nobody liked Venom in Spidey 3, Mr Raimi."
"How did you get this number?"
"Drag Me To Hell, by contrast, is one of your finest films, precisely because you didn't have to listen to the suits at Marvel. Make more of this kind of thing, Mr Raimi, and I might forgive the way you raped the greatest comic book hero of all time in the third film."
"Oh. Thanks. I guess."
"So, can we expect a sequel to Drag Me To Hell?"
"I don't know. Possibly?"
"That sounds great. Thanks for your time, Mr Raimi."
"Seriously, how did you get this number?"
[Phone goes dead]
"Grace, that weird kid called me again."