1. What does 'contusion' mean? The context of this was a doctors note, where the patient had a 'buttock contusion'.

My response: erm... bruise... followed by much stifled laughter and a toilet break.

2. Is is ice-cream countable?

My response: A literal buh? Plus the woman asking me was wearing a face mask, so I didn't really know what she wanted. I think I concluded that ice cream wasn't countable... which makes little sense. But it has been a long day of squealing Cantonese children, so my brain is seeping out from my ear.

Anyone else got any good ones?